Out of Control!

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Don't really know what to call this post. But I know I need to post something. I want my blogs to be an accurate accounting of my journey. Right now I'm completely off track!

Did so well on my drive to Boise! Ate healthy the whole drive. Got in around 8pm and still stayed focused. Got up early and walked the neighborhood. For some reason I felt like I was going to faint. Almost called my sister-in-law to let her know which direction I went in case I didn't come home. Made it back to their house without fainting and had a yummy oatmeal with peaches.

We hurried off to the first of 3 bball games that day. I was still feeling shaky and light headed. Still not sure why. I ate almonds, then had a greek yogurt, and drank lots of water! Still feeling shaky I found some left over movie candy in my purse. Ate it. After the second game we headed back to my brother's for some YUMMY pulled pork. He worked on it for over 16 hours. I had pulled pork and veggies! Then left of the third game of the day.

When we got home everyone bought pizza and Krispy Kreme donuts. I caved. I had 1 donut and three slices of pizza.

The next day my girls and I loaded up and headed home (there were still two more games but I can't drive for hours if I get started in the evening and have to drive in the dark. My intentions were to eat healthy on the drive but this time around I didn't. I felt anxious, bored and know that my eating was due to those emotions.

Monday morning I had all my kids home for Spring break and daycare kids here. I didn't wake up early since I was exhausted from the drive home. I never did get any workouts in yesterday and ATE all the wrong stuff. Today, I've done the same. I feel like I really could care less but that's not accurate. I do care. I don't want to slip completely off like I have so many other times. But for some reason I stuffing food in until I feel almost sick. Candy, chicken nuggets, snickerdoodle cookies, lots of Milk, pancake and eggs....and some strawberries and grapes.

I'm feeling emotionally and mentally drained! I need to snap out of it! Maybe my trip, right before spring break, was TOO MUCH of a whirlwind trip, throwing me TOO off balance. It's only day two of spring break and I want to pull my hair out, climb into a hole and come out when it's all over!

It's 6:20. Haven't made dinner yet but I have several kids asking "What's for dinner?" ARGH, I don't know!!!!!!!

Tomorrow I promised the kids I'd take them to a fun indoor pool place. Taking a 13, 12, 8, 4, 3 and 1 year old is going to take work. I want to let my 13 and 12 yo be in charge of the little kids so I don't have to put a bathing suit on. SIGH, I know that won't really work or be fair.

Okay, some how I need to snap out of this. I missed a weigh-in for two of my groups (Sunday and Monday) and my BL challenge weigh-in is tomorrow. I know there will be a HUGE gain. I've got to brush it off and start everything fresh tomorrow. I know with the crazy spring break schedule I won't be able to wake up at my normal early workout time. I'll have to find little 15 minute segments.

P.S. My son's team WON the bball tournament. One player on the team fell hard onto the court, when he picked his head up he was covered in blood. Split his forhead open and got a concussion. Didn't play the third game but, surprisingly, he did play the last two games the next day. His dream college is Boise State University. The coach happened to be at the tournament and this kid played phenomenal even injured and dazed! How fun for him!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I know I'm a few days behind, but I still feel the need to let you know my first reaction ~ You were exhausted and it's really tough to make good decisions when you're exhausted... especially when you're out of your normal routine and having all kinds of temptations thrown at you. Even if the scale is up for a few weigh-ins, please, please don't let it get you down. You've established some really good patterns and once you are able to catch up on rest a little bit, you'll be able to turn things back around.

    I hope the rest of the week has gotten better!
    2577 days ago
    Just a little glitch in the matrix. Starting now...I've chained your butt to the fitness wagon and I'm going to drag you until you decide to get up and walk :) Tomorrow morning, no excuses. You and me...i need you to give at least 30 minutes before the day starts. It's YOU time. Your time to find you, to define you, to complete you. Thank me later :)
    2578 days ago
    You can do this Krista. Right now you are just going through some of that self sabotage we all go through at one time or another. Look at the last few weeks. You just did a 5K!!! Woo Hoo!! And if I'm not mistaken, weren't you the biggest loser on your team last week??? (I'm purple team) Your weight loss has been phenomenal!!! Your journey inspiring!!! This is just a hiccup. Forgive yourself for being human and letting life get in the way, and then get back with the program. You CAN do this!!
    2578 days ago
  • DEBLYNN323
    emoticon ...you are more powerful than you think. Shake it off and get back on track! And don't let that silly 'ole scale get the best of you!
    2578 days ago
    This happens to all of us. It is great you looked at the reasons why you ate.

    Forget it and move on!! Count it as a calorie reset and finish the week strong.

    The scale may surprise you.

    2578 days ago
  • MISSG180
    Life occasionally crashes down on us in a way that throws us out of control. It happens. The trick is to right yourself and move forward. Beating yourself up over what happened isn't going to help. You had two bad days. But you have hundreds more ahead of you, and in another month those two bad days will barely be a memory, as long of you don't let them turn into more.

    You are strong, and you inspire me. You have what it takes to get recentered and move forward. I have faith in you.
    2578 days ago
    When I'm feeling out of control, I usually try to find one little thing right now that I can control. Could be as simple as pouring an 8 ounce glass of water and drinking it. Bang! I've done something good for myself. Now what else can I do?
    2579 days ago
    Sounds like you are having a great time. Being out of the normal routine is very hard for me too. And I swear it is so hard to stop once I start eating things I'd normally pass.

    Have a wonderful day tomorrow and good luck getting back on track or as close as possible until you get back to your regular routine!
    2579 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/28/2012 12:05:44 AM
    Krista, Hugs, look at what is manageable? What feels doable? what do you want to do? what will make you feel good? Enjoy the spring break. Dance or do something that you enjoy. I hope you can snap out of it. If not try to just plan some things that seem doable.

    You are so inspirational and can continue the journey.
    2579 days ago
    emoticon you two! I'm in my room, tucked in my bed, crying over how wonderful you guys are. Myspark friends are the best! Tried to explain to my dh how I'm feeling. He gave me a hug and installed a TV I. My bedroom so I could enjoy Biggest Lower in peace. Unfortunately my town thinks an NBA game is more important than BLACK and my sanity
    2579 days ago
    Im with Jenn, start over NOW. Take some deep breaths and then go grab a glass of water and do 2 minutes of stretching. Thats all. Anything that is little and manageable. Tomorrow you have a great opportunity to get some exercise with your kids - take it! You'll be spending quality time with your kids AND getting a workout in.

    You can do this!!!!!!!
    2579 days ago
    Congrats on the win!

    Press your internal reset button right NOW! Do not think about starting over tomorrow. Pick up with those healthy choices at this moment. There may seem like no difference, but mentally it is everything.

    So you slipped. We all do and it is okay. You seem to be working at getting at the root of the reasons why, and that is to be celebrated.

    When these moments come up and you are tempted to go a little bonkers, try hanging on to all of the reasons you want to get to your goal. Maybe even carry around a physical momento you can look at and hold in your hand. That should help.

    Take care,

    2579 days ago
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