Emotionally Difficult Morning
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Last night my son's teacher e-mailed me about him being a little off these past few weeks. Here is a little insight to what has been happening.
A few weeks ago my son started processing the (I hate to say it) abuse he went through with his dad with his counselor. Tien, that is my son's name, has been sad as a result of us leaving the situation back this past September. We entered a safe house program. And, we have since been building a safe environment.
Today morning I asked my son after he has been snappy with me what his problem was. He said he had a hole in his heart. He said that when he is at school all he does is think about his dad. He said he misses him. He said that he wishes we can just go stay with him. He said he wants his dad. I choked back my tears for so many reasons. I listened to Tien cry, and tried to reassure him I hear him. I told him I love him. I told him that I wish there was a way his dad would be someone safe we can live with. I told him that I was going to tell his teacher that he was feeling sad. I told him I would talk to Mrs Kelly about meeting with him today and on Thursday. I feel like I needed to tell Tien that I know he feels sad. I want him to know I want to work on things to make him feel happier and not so sad.
How my heart pains for my son...
I ended up coming back into a scary situation. I'll just say it was scary and leave it at that. The police came over and a report was made.
I tested my blood sugar and it was 124 for fasting. I just ate a bowl of Life cereal with some skim milk.
I feel overwhelmed by the emotions I am feeling. I feel sort of helpless in helping my son overcome his sadness with regards to his dad.
I believe that if my son gets supervised visits regularly with his dad, then my son won't feel like he misses his dad so much. I am compliant and willing for his dad to get supervised visits, but his father won't budge on paying for them and insists on not seeing him. I have a limited income. I can't see how I should pay for the visits, but am willing to pay for them if it means Tien will feel better. His dad isn't paying child support yet. I am getting the initial order of support from him on April 19th , the court date. His dad has no custodial rights with our son. I have full custody of Tien right now. What a sticky situation.