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I am strong I am fit I am healthy I am amazing

Sunday, March 25, 2012

This was my mantra repeating with footfalls on the week 5 day 1 walk jog training, along with "mentally tough". 36 minutes split b/t 3 minutes of walking and 3 mins of jogging. Impressive for a Sunday evening that a year ago would have been spent in front of the TV. The pace was 14 min mile. Really, I am amazed. I am planning the 5K for Friday or Saturday depending on weather and schedules. I plotted out my course for the 5K, to a nearby park, partially around it, then back. So, tonight I ran (most of) that course. I thought about just finishing the 5K, get'er done. I could SEE the flip flop point when I turned back to home tonight. I told myself: trust the program. You haven't gotten hurt, no overuse injuries, don't push it until Friday. Apparently, I believe I'll succeed: I signed up for the virtual race 5K this week.

The first week in Oct, I completed my first virtual 5K in 59 minutes or so. I remember writing that I wasn't sure if I'd keep walking as my feet were in significant pain (pronation ouch). Well, I did a 5K after Thanksgiving, thanks Turky Trot Challenge, another after Christmas, another after Valentine's Day (51 minutes). Then decided I'd train for the walk jog 5K. If I stay on pace, 5K in about 45 minutes or so. Wow.

Friday's Training was hard to focus: a day of changes. Plumbers in the morning, planned. Former hubby, who regrets leaving his family and wants back coming to talk at lunch, planned, but timing uncertain. I should have gone to run b/t the plumbers and lunch. B/c I wasn't sure of timing, I worked around the house. Then again, cleaning the house was time well spent. Surprise: a neighbor needed us to keep her dog for the weekend. My labrador is wonderful, happy-go-lucky. The visitor was chihuahua mix. Happy to see humans at the new house, scared of the big black lab, so spent the next 24 hours in her tiny little crate. Unfortunately, I hadn't gotten her leash off before she bolted for her box. Coaxed her out enough to get the leash off. Sorted out dogs into separate rooms. Left to walk, caught up in relationship what ifs and potential outcomes, dogs, weekend commitments. I know I got confused on a couple of intervals. Reminded myself that imperfection is still progress. I finished as my daughter was riding her bike home from school.

Next challenge: for the first time in more than 3 years, my kids stayed with a babysitter. Former Hubby and I went on a date. 3 ADHD kids challenge most sitters: never quite sure how things will play out. Friday night, they were cooperative, the sitter was wonderful. So, former husband and I went to dinner, then to hear a local band. Danger Will Robinson: As we're spending time together, it's usually in restaurants and involving alcohol of some kind. Not to excess, certainly more out to eat and drinks than I've had in the past year or so. Habits: we were both about a hundred pounds overweight, enjoying eater-tainment a few times a week. One of my AhHa moments after the split: I used him, our lifetime relationship as a crutch, an excuse not to change myself, to hesitate pushing my life forward. If we rebuild our relationship, what strategies can I put in place to remember my own personal strength, to maintain weight loss, exercise, healthy eating, drinking water? I feel like my commitment to exercise is strong right now, it's the emotional eating that trips up my progress. All those meals and drinks in restaurants certainly didn't help our finances, either. The habit of "let's go get something and talk" needs to be changed into: sit quietly in the backyard and talk. I feel like losing weight, getting healthy, exercising is my ownership, my challenge to myself. I don't feel comfortable right now letting him join in with workouts, etc. Speaking of things that need to change. If it's my project, my ownership, I won't let me down. If I share with him, will I fall back in the old habit of not trying so hard?
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    I have always gained that comfort weight when me and my ex would get back together. What I've realized is that he isn't that changing factor for me, I AM. I loved him more than I loved myself and that is NOT okay. If you are in the mindset that you are making this life change for yourself, and you deserve just as much love and attention as rebuilding your relationship with him does (IF NOT MORE) than you will be fine. If not, it is so easy to slide back into old tendencies and let yourself and all of your hard work fall by the way side. Good luck love
    2563 days ago
  • I-CAN-DO-IT-2
    Hello again. I wish you well. You have so many wonderful ideas. I'd like to add oneā€¦

    When I was in graduate school whenever my advisor wanted to chat about things we would "walk and talk." I confess my success in getting participation for my daughter and my husband is abysmal. And so, I will take my own advice, and ask my husband to come out and take a walk with me later.

    Seems I owe you another thank you!

    2575 days ago
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