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Saturday, March 24, 2012

Have joined the Sparkpeople Stress Challenge. Life has been pretty tough the last couple of months: (slightly) reduced financial circumstances, multiplying health issues, and dealing with my 2 'babies', who are now grown men.

Part of the challenge is to write of the top 3 stressors. Those would have to be my husband and 3 adults sons, both of whom live with us. Ed (hubby) torn his meniscus in January, lifting a box of chicken at work. The company doctor told him it was just a tweaked muscle, prescribed physical therapy and a knee brace. I have had knee issues 3x in the last 4 years, so I knew it was more than just a tweak. It took the doctor 6 weeks to agree that her diagnosis was wrong, and she finally ordered an MRI. Well, I was correct, it was a meniscus problem. So now he is looking at surgeons to correct the problem. This, plus that fact that he is working reduced hours, thus the slightly reduced finances, has been a major source of stress; I look up to him to take care of me, not the other way around.

Son#1, almost 23, decided that I insulted his girlfriend one day, and hasn't spoken to me AT ALL in 5 weeks. I'm not sure what to do about this situation. I don't want to force him to find another place to live, yet I can't continue with this rudeness for too much longer.

Son#2, 18 and still in high school, seems to have no ambition at all. He may not graduate from high school this June, as his grades are very poor, even though he is a smart kid. His emotions run hot and cold all the time, and I never know what to expect from one day to the next. When he gets upset at something I won't let him do, it usually come out as anger, with door slamming, stomping around the house, etc. This is something I can usually ignore, at least until he calms down and we can talk like adults, but with the other issues going on right now, I have a lot less patience for childish tantrums.

So these are the reasons my sleeping has been spotty, my eating habits have slumped towards their pre-Sparkpeople ara, and I'm tired and cranky all the time. And this is the reason I have joined this challenge.

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  • BECCA315
    Maryann: I think he is avoiding me because he knows he's wrong. As for the chores, I haven't cooked for him or done his laundry in years. I will wait him out, as I know he will eventually either move out, or realize what a butthead he has become.

    3228 days ago
  • no profile photo CD10764669
    Becca - You do have a lot of reasons to be stressed.

    First of all, I'm glad that you're husband finally has the correct diagnosis. Although surgery is never pleasant, at least the problem will be correct and he can start p/t and get his life back.

    As for your older son -- I've never had that problem, but I know what my parents would have done. Just like Lynn, O-U-T!!! Whether or not I could actually do that myself would depend upon the circumstances, but I know for a fact that my husband would never tolerate either of my children treating me that way. I can understand that he may have hurt feelings, but he's 23 and really should be able to talk to you like an adult and explain his (and his girlfriend's) side of the issue. It isn't right for him to be living under your roof and treat you this way. So if it was me, I wouldn't wash his clothes, clean his room, or make any meals for him. I wouldn't make living at home pleasant for him . . . . maybe he'd get the hint. I understand you don't want to force him out, but he needs a wake up call.

    As for your younger son, we've discussed that in the "hot tub".

    I will continue to pray for you and your family --



    3228 days ago
  • MEME102
    Becca -- you know you continue to be in my thoughts and prayers for all of these stressors!! But remember -- unless you feel good about YOU -- you can't take care of that business and following through, losing some weight, making yourself healthy will make it not easier but able to take care of all that with some sensibility!!
    P.S. And w/ my stepson I DID say OUT....when enough was enough. His dad knew how I felt and he wasn't happy with me but he understood...Now did it all go wonderfully after he left - no but at least he finally took some responsibilty for himself.
    3230 days ago
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