Vegan for Love?

Saturday, March 24, 2012

This may sound odd for a blog but I needed to put it out there for some feedback. At the moment the man I am involved with is a die hard vegan, and it's for animal welfare purposes. He has been raised this way his entire life. I have not. Now when I'm with him I'm considerate and do the vegan thing but I have to say it has me thinking. If this relationship gets any more serious I'm going to need to make a decison on this. My man has not even brought the subject up to me, but he knows i'm not vegan 100% of the time.

The question that's hitting me now is do I become vegan for my love for him and his beliefs and respect? Or should I not and he should love me for who and what I am despite his beliefs and upbringing. I never ask him to compromise his lifestyle at all. And the issue really isn't the not eating meat part. I really don't eat a lot of meat but the kicker is I love dairy. Don't get me wrong I love this man with the entire depths of my soul. But the thought of never having cheese again truly makes me say hold on there. Now I am all for animal rights I dont wear leather or fur or anything made from animals in any way. I have pets i love and adore like children.
And I'm also thinking what if i'm in between, I 'm not vegan but vegetarian. That I think I could handle a bit better, at least I could still have my cheese and cheesecake and eat it too! I know either way it comes down to me having this talk with my man but please give me your input.
Would you change your entire lifestyle and diet and eating habits for the person you loved?
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I got married when I was 47. My answer comes from that angle.

    I would not, nor would I ever advise someone to change who they are to make someone they loved happy. They must love SOMETHING about the way you are now to be with you. Yes, compromise is necessary but I also believe YOU have to be a willing participant to make that compromise.

    I believe most marriages break up because people "lie" or "Cover up" who they truly are until they are married. If the two of you have talked about marriage or think you are getting towards that, I think you should ask him if he would still love you if you are vegetarian. (Hope I got that right). I eat all food put on the earth so I do not know the subtle differences between one and another.

    If you don't love you, you can't be you and if you aren't you, you can't love others well.

    2552 days ago
    People in relationships often have to find a balance between compromise and holding true to their own self.

    At a guess, it may come down to having to have the conversation - is he okay with you making your own choices and eating dairy, even around him, or is he going to feel it is disrespectful of his feelings to the point he'd push his opinion on you? (There's also the question of whether you'd be expected to cook for the pair of you following vegan rules or whether that's something he does anyway per his own choices.)

    Given that he hasn't asked in any way for you to change, that should be a good sign.
    2554 days ago
    I would not change to that extent but I am me & you are you
    2554 days ago
    I would not change my diet in that way for someone I love. I would not think it fair for someone to ask me to do this for their beliefs any more than I would change my religion for someone else's beliefs. Some people do, and have happy marriages. Others cannot compromise in this way. I am a good compromiser on things that are shared compromises; not so good if it is a one-way compromise.

    I love eating vegan. Sometimes. I have been vegetarian for many year stretches. But then I crave meat and dairy and need to go back to a more omnivorous diet. I do not think we are all made the same in terms of dietary needs.

    All that being said, I think it is good that you are asking yourself these questions because you are the one who will know what is the right answer for you. This would be a good time to bring up your question with your love to see if he would even ask this of you.

    Veganism is healthy way to live provided you find healthy protein and b-12 sources. It is restrictive, and poses baking problems, yet I have found that vegan baking can be delicious.

    These are good questions. Keep talking to your love and to yourself about them, because our answers are really not that important.

    Best of luck!
    2555 days ago
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