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It's a nail-biting kind of day...

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

So I am nervous today. Today is the day that my mom will get the results of all the scans they have done thus far. I know they did 2 different MRI's last week, 38 x-rays (all in one sitting! I asked her if she glowed in the dark after that), and a full body scan I believe. I am really hoping that they come back and tell her at least one thing...that they didn't find any cancer.
They told her when she went in two weeks ago that it could be one of a few different things: cancer, an autoimmune disease, possibly leukemia....none of them really sound any better than the other, so maybe it is something entirely different. I don't know. I'm not a doctor. I have no idea what could be going on with her.
But I'm scared. I want everything to be alright. I want her to be healthy. I don't want to see her go through something else that difficult. It is hard to watch the person who has always been there to take care of you be the one that needs to be taken care of. Especially when she puts on such a brave face every day that you have no idea what she is really going through until it is too much to bear. And she has to tell you. Because there is possibly something really wrong.
Part of me wants to be angry at someone. Or something. Because how is it fair for one person to keep having to endure this? While so many others who do not take care of themselves never suffer through any of it? It doesn't make sense. She exercises, eats right, is probably more health conscious than just about anyone that I know. And she has more health issues than anyone I know (at least anyone that I am close to).
I guess it doesn't pay to be angry though. All I can do is be there and be supportive. To try and understand what she must be going through. Even today. Sitting in that office waiting to hear if they found anything and what it may be....I cannot imagine. It is gut-wrenching....and it is not me that is going through it.
So I wait to hear from her...I should have gone with her. I should have taken the day off work and been there by her side today. I don't know why I didn't....
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  • MELLIEH0212
    prayers that everything is okay emoticon
    2282 days ago
    Oh Becky, I hope for good news. It is so difficult to watch someone struggle, especially someone so close. I am here for you if you need. I am just a phone call away. Sending good vibes your way.

    2282 days ago
    I was just thinking about you earlier today and wondering what was going on with your mom. I hope they give her the best possible news!! We are all here for you, and your mom is lucky to have you in her corner as well. Sounds like she's quite a fighter, so whatever this is, she'll fight and you both will be strong and hang in there. I'll be thinking of you guys, keep us updated! emoticon you both are having to go through this!

    emoticon emoticon
    2282 days ago
    My heart goes out to your mother. For both your sakes, I hope the news is good, but they don't usually do all that testing if they don't suspect something serious. I hope you are prepared to leave work if she has bad news. You will need each other more than ever.
    I said a prayer for both ofl you.
    2282 days ago
    Thinking about you today! Let's hope that everything is ok- but just know whatever it is- it will all be ok and you have a lot of support coming from different areas!

    2282 days ago
    2282 days ago
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