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WHY I am doing this

Monday, March 19, 2012

I guess I am just in a bit of a funk at the moment.... Getting a little irritated with the 3:15 mornings, mad at having to eat veggies, dreading my afternoon runs, jealous of the coworker who can eat a piece of cake without it triggering a binge, etc....

I am doing this right now because I am sick and tired of rollercoastering up 10 lbs (around 150'is), then down 10 lbs (to 140'ish), NEVER reaching a healthy goal weight. I have been in this range for almost 2 years now. My ultimate, done with weightloss, goal is to maintain right around 125 lbs (I'm only 5'2" so that is reasonable for me)..... Up 5 or down 5 pounds (maintain between 120 and 130). I know my weight will always be a struggle for me, and I will always have to maintain a healthy lifestyle, but I just yearn for the day when I can say I am in maintenence mode. I hate that for the past 2 yrs I have been close, but just can't quite get there.

I loved how, on Saturday, I was able to go out to eat (first time in several weeks) and order a somewhat healthy meal from a restaurant, but indulge on tortilla chips before and a dessert after. Yesterday and so far today I have been able to get right back on track and get back into weightloss mode. That's what balance is all about! I wanna be able to do this more often and not feel bad about it! I was given a boost of confidence that this did not trigger a binge cycle for me..... I CAN indulge every once in awhile.

I know I am so close.... I am guessing when I weigh in a week from Friday I will be lower 130's. My clothes are fitting SO good! Then the month of April if I hit it really hard I should be able to get awful darn close to my 125 goal. It is so close and I want it so bad.... I want to say I am DONE with weightloss..... and fighting to maintain..... I can do this!!!! I am worth it. My dreams will come true! Pity party is over! I am a champion!!!!! LOL!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I am SO there with you! The only difference is, I can't seem to lose the weight easily even when I do everything right. So I'm stuggling right now, but not giving up. Let's keep at it!
    2224 days ago
    You are doing great!! You are gonna reach your goal, I know it!!!
    2225 days ago
    Way to go!
    2226 days ago
    Helen, I am SO feeling everything you are saying! I'm right there with you! Really, I am! Eating will be an issue throughout my entire life and learning how to deal with that, and handle it, that is also another issue that I'm learning how to handle.

    You can do this! You have done SO AMAZING and LOOK SO AMAZING! You can get to that goal and be in maintanence, I KNOW it! I hate that you have to get up so early and goto work. I SO wish we could walk together! I'm up at 5:30 every day but for different reasons. And I often think how I would LOVE to get together and walk!

    Thinking about you today! Hoping you have an amazing day! Can't wait to help you celebrate when you reach that 125 mark! :-) YOU CAN DO IT!
    YOU CAN DO IT! I know you can!

    Blessings always!

    2226 days ago
  • JLITT62
    Which is part of the reason I don't blog as much . . . because really, what can I write that I haven't a thousand times before?

    But celebrate the victories! Don't dwell on the failures! Remember how far you've come!

    And consider that maybe 125 IS too low for YOU. I'm an inch shorter & my GW is higher. Just think about it.
    2226 days ago
    I think we can all relate to this!! I have been down and up soooo many times with my weight, and it just gets harder and harder as you get older!!!
    But as I have gotten older and maybe wiser...I just want to be healthy, I want to be able to run a 1/2 marathon, which I never thought I would, and I did last year!
    I eat healthy, sometimes splurge, and little by little I am losing weight. It's slow, but that's o.k.,its a life change.
    I am trying new things, and I like how I look, a little more toned and still more pounds to loose.
    Remember, we are all together in this journey, we are hear to listen and to give advice and give support!!!

    You are doing great, keep going, you will get there!!!
    2226 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/20/2012 12:56:26 AM
  • CKAYT56
    Oh....this is a ditto from me! We all need a pitty party once in a while, we need to whine, get over it.....and then get back to it! It is lifelong for me too...I cannot go back to where I came from....Maintaining is really hard, and for me scary. You can do this, keep on fighting for what you want....I will be glad to cheer you on! It helps me to know that sparkpeople people understand what each other are going through and we can both grow and learn from others. Keep up the good work and I am glad you wrote this blog....

    Char in MN
    2226 days ago
    You can do it!!!!! You are a champion!!

    Just a thought...I have noticed you have binged when feeling anxious over something. It may be worth seeing a counselor for. If you can get better control of the anxiety it may help with your weight loss goals. emoticon
    2226 days ago
  • FRECKS96
    Woo Hoo!!! I'm right there with you sister! Keep the faith, we can do this!
    2226 days ago
    I can relate to this. Thank you! Keep up the good work!
    2226 days ago
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