SILENTJANE
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SJ : Day71? : Motivation/Stress

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Motivation is a tricky thing. It's up, it's down, who can keep up with it? I have lost my motivation somewhat. I've gotten into the habit of being good the first 3 or 4 days of the week, and being bad the rest. Exercising is the only thing keeping me from gaining weight I think. I want to improve myself, and I will, but in about a week and a half my husband and I are going back to Laughlin, and the only thing that will save me there is the constant walking from casino to casino.

I have stopped logging in my food every day. When I joined WW two years ago, it only lasted two months also. Spark People is different for me though. I am more determined to lose the 25lbs, and it's for a lifestyle change rather than a specific event. I am halfway to my goal weight, btw, and I don't want to blow it all and gain it back. The Nutrition Tracker was good for me and bad for me. I got to where I was stressed about the amount of calories I was consuming, and I would have a panic attack that I would have to talk myself down from if I went over an amount I had set for myself, an amount about 200 calories less than the daily calories given to me by the site. I was even getting tension headaches. I had to shake that behavior off and learn that it's ok to be in the calorie range given to me by the site. But, slowly, it has brought me to where I am now.

I don't want to lose momentum like I have done in the past, but I don't want to stress about it either. I want the mindset of a healthy dieter, and a health-conscious person to be mine for life. I know that when I lose the weight I can loosen up a little. I'll weigh myself occasionally, and let the tightness of my clothes, and being mindful of my eating habits, be my guide for any weight I may gain. But, I'm not there yet. I also am not going to be lucky enough to lose the weight and effortlessly keep it off for life, I will have to exercise several times a week, and eat healthy in order to keep it off. I know that I have the right mindset, but actually finding the motivation to apply it will depend on my determination (nobody will do it for me, lol), and I'm not ready to give up yet.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • BECCAF03
    Hey! Any time you are trying to change, it's a good thing.

    I'm no expert, so you can take what I say with a grain of salt, but I feel that I have done what you are doing many times before...(If not, ignore!)

    It sounds like how I used to be mad at myself for needing to lose weight. IN order to "punish" myself I would be ridiculously strict and rigid about calories and exercise. This would last only a while and then I would quit because it is honestly too difficult to live that way. I also used to get strict with myself if something else in my life were causing me stress.

    If this sounds like you, then I would say to always remind yourself that this is a lifestyle change, so if you couldn't do it forever, don't even try. Also, you might want to stay away from logging calories for a while in order to calm down and realize that it's a tool and not the judge your whole life. Besides, I'm sure you know the right choices to make anyway.

    I hope this helps and good luck, sweetie!
    emoticon
    2874 days ago
  • DSHRUBS3
    So glad you aren't ready to give up yet!!

    Motivation can be fleeting at times! Just remember why you want to do it and the benefits it will have and hopefully that is enough!
    2874 days ago
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