SJ : Day71? : Motivation/Stress
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Motivation is a tricky thing. It's up, it's down, who can keep up with it? I have lost my motivation somewhat. I've gotten into the habit of being good the first 3 or 4 days of the week, and being bad the rest. Exercising is the only thing keeping me from gaining weight I think. I want to improve myself, and I will, but in about a week and a half my husband and I are going back to Laughlin, and the only thing that will save me there is the constant walking from casino to casino.
I have stopped logging in my food every day. When I joined WW two years ago, it only lasted two months also. Spark People is different for me though. I am more determined to lose the 25lbs, and it's for a lifestyle change rather than a specific event. I am halfway to my goal weight, btw, and I don't want to blow it all and gain it back. The Nutrition Tracker was good for me and bad for me. I got to where I was stressed about the amount of calories I was consuming, and I would have a panic attack that I would have to talk myself down from if I went over an amount I had set for myself, an amount about 200 calories less than the daily calories given to me by the site. I was even getting tension headaches. I had to shake that behavior off and learn that it's ok to be in the calorie range given to me by the site. But, slowly, it has brought me to where I am now.
I don't want to lose momentum like I have done in the past, but I don't want to stress about it either. I want the mindset of a healthy dieter, and a health-conscious person to be mine for life. I know that when I lose the weight I can loosen up a little. I'll weigh myself occasionally, and let the tightness of my clothes, and being mindful of my eating habits, be my guide for any weight I may gain. But, I'm not there yet. I also am not going to be lucky enough to lose the weight and effortlessly keep it off for life, I will have to exercise several times a week, and eat healthy in order to keep it off. I know that I have the right mindset, but actually finding the motivation to apply it will depend on my determination (nobody will do it for me, lol), and I'm not ready to give up yet.