New exercise - the rapid piglet crawl, carry, and mad dash

Friday, March 09, 2012

As you may know, I have a small mixed-use farm, meaning I raise a wide variety of animals as well as a big vegetable garden. This week, I'm perfecting the rapid piglet crawl. To properly do this exercise, first outfit yourself in your oldest most comfortable jeans. Then, to make sure that you have sufficient difficulty, add a pair of rubber work boots (best ones are a size too big so you can fit two pairs of socks), pulling them up over your jeans. Add one new mama pig (nervous first-time mama is even better), and six to twelve fat piglets that don't want anything to do with you (screamers are the best). Strongly recommend tying your hair back so it doesn't get in your face in the middle of this exercise.

Now, getting on your hands and knees on the muddy ground, crawl over the lip of the poly-dome whose door opening is about 6 inches off the ground and maybe 3 1/2 feet tall, while the dome has a diameter of approximately 6 feet and a central height of 4 ft. Keep a close watch/listen out for mama pig returning from her food. Carefully pick up each piglet and deposit in a crate. Make a rapid exit from the dome without getting in the way of mama who is now returning (btw, she and you cannot fit in the opening at the same time). Pick up the crate and run to the nearest fence, vault the fence holding the crate, carefully side-stepping the angry mama pig (who weighs a lot more than you do), also avoid the rest of the pigs who have all come to see what is happening and like to act as obstacles on the obstacle course, forcing you to cut and spin.

Now that your heart rate and blood pressure are way over target, remove and examine each piglet (no extra points for doing the same piglet twice). Then do the same exercise in reverse. You can skip the crawl back into the dome and just pitch the piglets into the dome from the outside, but you must place each piglet back into the dome. Points off for just dumping the crate in the dome, opening the door, and coming back in 15 minutes to remove the crate, especially since mama will probably have demolished the crate in the first minute trying to get to her piglets.

Overturned buckets on each side of the fence make it easier to vault the fence, although they do add a little uncertainty as to whether they are going to tip over at a strategic time. Also, they are never exactly where the pigs are not. Adds a little balance builder to the exercise.

Repeat as necessary whenever each litter is born.

Can you tell why I haven't joined a gym? This was in addition to the calf search yesterday in the rain (never did find the calf - but both cows and calves were up at the back fence for breakfast this morning).

Seriously, I find that now that spring has arrived, I'm getting my exercise in, just need to cut back on my food intake. And Wednesday's bacon, fried eggs, and toast breakfast caused another acute indigestion attack (thought that had been cured last June when they took out my gall bladder). So, back to healthier breakfasts. Bring on the steel-cut oatmeal (which I love with lots of milk), the whole-grain breads, yogurt (I make my own), and fruit.

Laurel in sunny Missouri
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Glad ya'll are enjoying my silliness. That is the great thing about farming is that it will keep you active. I'm trying to incorporate more exercise into my daily routine and the pigs are certainly helping... afterall, there is also the bucket lift of raising a full bucket of feed (12+ Pounds) over the fence and dumping it out - repeated at least 8 times a day.
    2910 days ago
    Great workout and sense of the ridiculous! LOL
    2910 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2548072
    emoticon you are a riot!

    2910 days ago
    I have a movie running in my head of what this looked like. Teriffic descriptions. Thanks for the giggle.
    2910 days ago
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