Tell me about when you knew you hit rock bottom
Monday, March 05, 2012
After I wrote my weird blog about being back last night I had a bath and while in the bath I started thinking about how I got back into the same old habits and how even though I haven't gained all 40 lbs back that I'm getting too close to comfort to it.
My problem I think is that I haven't truly hit a rock bottom. I feel like I'm still in better shape than I was.. I can still sort of run which I couldn't before and if I spend hours on my feet they don't kill me at the end of the day and I don't wake up stiff and really sore the next day.
It feels like maybe weight is only a number to me or something. Like I don't actually really get the health risks facing my body. I can do the research all I want about it but it still doesn't quite hit me as hard as it should. I can be naked in front of a mirror and look pretty much right past the grossness of my naked body.
So how do I hit this rock bottom.. What's it going to take for me to finally realize that I HAVE to do this and for the right reasons not to just be skinny. How do I get past an all or nothing attitude that's actually stopping me from putting effort into this again. I can't seem to wrap my head around the idea that I should just go day by day and if I don't exercise every single day of the week that that's actually okay and if I go over my calories that I basically just completely screwed myself.
How did you know when you hit your rock bottom? Does anyone have any novels of wisdom that could maybe help me see through the all or nothing attitude?
Any advice or words of wisdom or even giant reality bats are welcome!