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Tell me about when you knew you hit rock bottom

Monday, March 05, 2012

After I wrote my weird blog about being back last night I had a bath and while in the bath I started thinking about how I got back into the same old habits and how even though I haven't gained all 40 lbs back that I'm getting too close to comfort to it.

My problem I think is that I haven't truly hit a rock bottom. I feel like I'm still in better shape than I was.. I can still sort of run which I couldn't before and if I spend hours on my feet they don't kill me at the end of the day and I don't wake up stiff and really sore the next day.

It feels like maybe weight is only a number to me or something. Like I don't actually really get the health risks facing my body. I can do the research all I want about it but it still doesn't quite hit me as hard as it should. I can be naked in front of a mirror and look pretty much right past the grossness of my naked body.

So how do I hit this rock bottom.. What's it going to take for me to finally realize that I HAVE to do this and for the right reasons not to just be skinny. How do I get past an all or nothing attitude that's actually stopping me from putting effort into this again. I can't seem to wrap my head around the idea that I should just go day by day and if I don't exercise every single day of the week that that's actually okay and if I go over my calories that I basically just completely screwed myself.

How did you know when you hit your rock bottom? Does anyone have any novels of wisdom that could maybe help me see through the all or nothing attitude?

Any advice or words of wisdom or even giant reality bats are welcome!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo NINJA_SMOO
    What actually did it was seeing a picture of myself. In a bikini.

    I knew I had been getting larger and I knew my clothes weren't fitting as well. Hell, I knew I was getting less attention (and not just from men, from everyone), but it wasn't until I saw that picture of myself swimming with my friends, when I was by far the largest person there (or at least the largest belly) that I was shocked and disgusted. It wasn't where everything fell into place, but it was my biggest motivator.

    And then a few weeks later, I was sitting at home just chatting with friends, and my computer screen saver was just cycling through my pictures. A picture of me when I was like 17 came up and my roommate asked who she was. That shocked me too. I hadn't realized I was unrecognizable from just a few years ago...

    But that 'rock bottom' moment is only enough to get started. It takes all kinds of work to keep it going...
    2413 days ago
  • CHRISTINA791
    First of all, I missed your welcome back post so let me just say that it's so great to see you here emoticon

    I do have an answer for this, but it started taking over the comments page so I think I'm going to take it to a blog. To keep it short: I did have a rock bottom wake-up moment, and while it led to some changes, it wasn't enough to really get me to change my life. The lifestyle change came about a year later, and I literally just started. There was no grand gesture or anything significant. There was really no way to tell that it was going to be different than all the other times... I just started.

    So I think it can be a little bit of both - that rock bottom moment can be the inspiration, but eventually that flash wears out and you have to just keep going with it even when you no longer remember the pain that originally set you on your way.
    2413 days ago
  • KNITWIDGET_
    Like a lot of people here, I didn't really hit rock bottom either. I was just presented with a great opportunity to start a new job that has a gym downstairs in the building and I decided to confront my weight frankly. I basically asked myself if I would try to start using the gym here because I wasn't going to find a more convenient arrangement. And if I decided I wasn't going to try, I was basically admitting to myself that I was OK being over 300 pounds and staying that way.

    For me, I just stripped away the crap I had been telling myself and got down to the real truth- am I happy at this weight? Am I willing to really do something to change it? Do I think I'm worth it to make that effort?

    I made a commitment to myself that day, to give myself a chance to make my life better because I was worth it, and I haven't turned back. I think that commitment is what makes this time different. For some people it's a health scare, a picture, a look in a full length mirror- something serves as a catalyst, a slap of reality. But for some people, they just start taking baby steps and months later they look back and see they've lost 40 pounds and realize they "had it in them" to do it, so they keep going. I think the key is just realizing that you are worth the fight and taking a step in the right direction.


    2414 days ago
  • SARAHSTARTSOVER
    I too don't think I had a "rock bottom" moment. For me it was the overwhelming feeling that I was sick of being me. Sick of not having the clothes I liked, sick of being tired, sick of feeling so out of place, sick of not going out with my friends becuase I didn't want to be the "fat girl". I have this Mya Angelou quote on my Sparkpeople page and it is on the wall in my office "If you don't like something change it. If you can't change it , change your attitude." I kept thinking about that quote over and over and decided that despite my best attempts to convince myself that my size was something I can't change I could change how healthy I was. I started small, adding a healthy food here, removing a unhealthy food there, add a little exercise and before I knew it my size did change and once I got a taste of that "Oh wow I am starting to look and feel really good", I just didn't stop. Like the others have said it's a journey and a battle for everyone. Your story will be different and that's the great part about it, there is no one size fits all and you are going to find the way that it best for you and only you. My greatest advice is GO SLOW as hard as it is, as frustrating as it is to not have all the weight gone right away the little changes add up and make the process SO much easier. We are here for you and I have no doubt that you can do this!
    2414 days ago
  • OHMEMEME
    Just know that if I had a one-size-fits-all answer I would be rich and you would not be here seeking an answer. But I do believe that there is an individual answer for each of us and Spark is a great place to get pieces of the seemingly unsolvable puzzle.

    So here's my story. Yo-Yo for 35 yrs up to 5'7" as low as 125lbs @ 18yrs old and as high as 239lbs @ 45 yrs old. Self-sabatage anytime I get under 200 for the last 10yrs. Emotional, compulsive, binge eater. At 47-48 yrs old I admit I have this problem so I am trying to tackle weightloss and food addiction. I used a website of Heleen Woest for a spiritual approach to food addiction and then started Spark for weightloss. That was almost a one year ago. There have been ups and downs with both. No complete answer but progress. I, like you, search out people on Spark who have mastered this and the answer seems to be ongoing... My rock bottom was "life in general," a tough marraige & raising kids in the midst of it. Letting myself medicate with food and hide from my pain. When I went to my doctor for anxiety, depression,and PMS, he told me my blood pressure was borderline high, that was part of my wake up call. It wasn't the numbers so much as the reality that I was doing this to myself and using life's problems as an excuse. Wake up call is still happening. I am 48 yrs old and do not want to continue on this miserable road...so I fall and get up over and over again. I may stay down a while but I will never stop trying to get up and only through God's grace will I find my answer.

    Keep searching and keep in touch.
    Get to know me and follow my journey on my Spark Page.
    May God Bless You,
    New Friend emoticon
    2416 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/6/2012 9:42:52 AM
  • CHRISSYANNE3
    I have a feeling this may become quite winded but I hope it helps. I don't think I ever hit rock bottom. I would have kept floating up higher and finding a set point for a while, losing weight, then gaining it back and more. I was truly a yo-yo dieter. I had my "ahh HA!" moment when I got desperate enough to try the HCG diet for a term. I did it. I lost the weight and reached a point in my life where I finally was under 200 pounds for the first time in like 8 years. It was not the healthiest way to do it, but I proved to myself that I AM capable of weight loss and I did have will power. I proved that there was no magical barrier that kept me above that 200 mark. For that 6 weeks I only ate 500 calories a day with the HCG and broke some bonds I have with food. I love food. I love to cook it and I especially love to eat it when I am stressed or busy, or sick even. So although it was not healthy I proved something to myself. I gained half of the weight back and found sparkpeople and I love it. I have lost 35ish and for the first time in FOREVER I kept my weight off for 4 months after losing it. It didn't seem like such a big deal to me when I first realized it, I was actually disappointed in myself for not losing. But after I thought about it, it was a win. I am not on my second "wind" of losing weight (I had 80 lbs. total as a goal) and my next motivation is to weigh less than my hubby. That hasn't happened for 13ish years. So I guess my question to you is - do you really have to hit bottom? For some of us who are emotional eaters...that could be really down there. Instead of getting to your end or waiting to get there, decide that you don't have to go there to believe you CAN do it and it is worth it. It will not look like a set thing, but it will be your own. And don't be afraid to celebrate every little thing you acomplish. Hope that helps.
    2416 days ago
  • KARIDIAN1
    My wake up call came when my doctor told me I was .2 away from being diabetic.
    I knew that I was gaining weight, but it was really slow and sort of crept up over the years. She made some suggestions and one of them was Spark People. I am so glad I followed through and also got my husband on with me so we can do this together. It hasn't been easy, but we are losing weight and going for a more healthy and active lifestyle.
    2416 days ago
  • CHRISKENANDKIDS
    I'm not sure I had a specific moment where I hit rock bottom but had been up and down about 15-20 pounds several times in the previous year that I decided to start over on January 2nd of last year (2011). I was testing for my permanent first degree black belt on Tae Kwon Do and was tired of being the overweight girl. My test was in March and I had a few months to get ready. By February I had made SOME progress but not enough. I finally decided to exercise 7 days a week. Something EVERY day in addition to TKD. I have brought it down to 6 days a week because I realized I had been overtraining a bit and needed a rest day. But now I'm consistently exercising and making it a habit. And I've lost 40 pounds since last January and am REALLY close to my goal weight. You have to be ready and decide you need to be healthy. Good luck!
    2416 days ago
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