life will never be the same

Sunday, March 04, 2012

I was doing great losing weight then all of a sudden life turns upside down. My dad, my hero, my friend died unexpectedley . He was only 59. He was always healthy when I was young never sick. I just don't know how to get my motivation back. My Dad died November 13 2011. My kids and husband love me and are very supportive but I just can't get back were I was before he passed. I gained 25lbs just since he has died. I need help. I'm just stuffing myself with junk I cannot deal with him dying. It was so sudden and unexpected. I miss him and wish I could talk to him again. I deal with my sadness by eating and eating and overeating. The week my dad died I gained 10lbs!! I just kept eating and eating nothing would get me full my life was drained of life nothing made me happy!!!! I gotta kept going for myself, my husband and especially my children. I just need to get out of this funk that I'm in. No motivation No get up and go . My dad was self destructive he never ate right and he drank all the time. He was always drinking. the alchol killed him. I'm self destructive I eat all the time BADDD stuff pizza, pastries , Fast food ,
I just need to get back into it. My dad loved me exericising he would go for walks with me. He loved me no matter what. Why can't I Love me? I need to find a new normal without Dad.
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    I am sorry for your loss. You have received some very sound advice in your replies and I hope you will be able to use a few of them to help cope. My only added comment would be to get healthy mentally and physically for yourself, your husband and your children. Think positive and do positive. Hugs and best wishes for you peace of heart and mind.
    3044 days ago

    Others have given a lot of good ideas. I think you already recognize that eating to suppress the grief isn't helping you; is, in fact, harming you.

    Fill your life with positives - talk or write about the good memories that included him. Share that side of your father with your children, so they have a grandfather to remember. He may not be there in the flesh, but you can keep him there in the spirit.
    3045 days ago
  • no profile photo CD1928831
    I'm so sorry for your loss. Grief is hard work, but there is not enough food to fill the void your Dad leaves in your heart. Please find someone to talk with (preferably a professional if possible) who can help you find your way through the journey of grief. One that will not harm you. By not living healthy, you are not honoring yourself or your father. It isn't easy, but your Dad would want you to find some help and support to live a healthy, long life for yourself (as well as for the rest of your family).
    3045 days ago
    So sorry for your loss :( Your Dad would have wanted you to get healthy so you could love your kids the way he loved you his entire life!

    As women we're expected to be strong and supportive - except we forget we need to stay strong for ourselves too! One day at a time - we can do anything for twenty-four hours right?

    3045 days ago
  • no profile photo CD9767578
    Perhaps there might be a support group near you for people who are struggling with unexpected losses of loved ones... As MrFuzz mentioned above, therapy might help to allow you to use his memory as a motivator rather than as a stumbling block. It's so hard to lose someone you love and I wish for you some peace so that you can enjoy your memories again!
    3045 days ago
    I am so sorry about your dad! My own father passed away 3/12/99. Somebody told me their father had died 2 yrs before that. She had tears in her eyes. I thought she must have loved him alot. How naive I was. All these years later, I still have tears in my eyes. I miss him still. Time really does have a way of softening the jagged edges. He wouldn't want you to be so sad. His smile in heaven will be a little but brighter if he sees that you are ok. Therapy won't take away the pain. But it will help give you some coping mechanisms. Take care sweetheart.
    3045 days ago
    what I do is talk to my GrandMother( I helped take care of her for 19 years we were very close) even after she went on to a better life I still go for my walks and talk to her as if she were still here and on that walk with me and I talk outloud so she can hear me I will pray for you to have peace in your heart that you beloved Dad is at rest and healthy please know that he would want you to get back on track and start gerring healthy again emoticon
    3045 days ago
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