Yesterday: Crying. Today: Hope. I am not WonderWoman!!!

Friday, March 02, 2012

Yesterday was bleak as I tried to figure out what to do about school. I spent an hour on the phone with 3 different people, crying my eyes out because I am so screwed with my health issues impacting my school work. I was diagnosed with diabetes on Jan 19th, the day before my 39th birthday. I want to stay away from meds, so I am working with Dr. McKim to get this under control with nutrition and supplements. The first thing that went was 10 pounds!!! Ya!!! The second thing to go was my concentration and I received headaches that only went away with sleep. I am not supposed to have caffeine, so my ADHD is overwhelming most days. Some days I just want to do the dishes and sleep. I finally got medical paperwork submitted and it was approved so I get more time to finish assignments and I am not deducted points for lateness. I can request an incomplete which will give me 5 extra weeks to complete my assignments. Yesterday's crisis arrived because I knew I couldn't complete the 5 weeks of work for my healthcare class while starting my next block of 2 classes in the middle of it. So, my options became very frustrating and overwhelming. When I was about to quit school, they finally mentioned I could take a Leave of Absence. Ya!!!! So, I will be submitting the paperwork for that. It will start in a couple of weeks, which will give me time to finish the classwork for the 2 classes I am in without needed to stress about starting new classes. I can take up to 180 days which is September. I have 5 classes left to finish to receive my associate's degree. Summer was difficult to get my homework finished while the kids were out of school, but I may try to return in June. Then if I need to repeat a leave of absence at the end of that block (if I need another incomplete to finish), I will have the time. My goal is to finish my degree. I am not in a hurry. It's already been 20 years. I am tired of failing. I am so glad this option is available. But I only get 180 days total for the whole degree. So, I need to use it as wisely as possible.
So, today I am good. I focused on getting back on track with sparkpeople and I cleared my favorites food list of everthing not approved by Dr. McKim's program. That took about 2 hours. Everything had to be deleted one at a time! It was therapy basically. I have been adjusting our groceries and meals, but actually removing the forbidden items from the favorites list was difficult emotionally. I realized all of the "healthy" items that are no longer allowed weren't really helpful, they just helped me get this way faster. I am basically eating fruit, veggies, meat, nuts, cream of buckwheat, and I get grade B syrup ($35 a pint!!!). But, I am getting it all done. The hardest part is sticking with it at night and when I leave the house. So, I have decided to stay home and have Jim do most of the running around so I am not tempted. I still struggle with a few things, but that is why I got back onto sparkpeople so I could get my tracker in order and start using it to help me stay on track.
I am struggling to balance school, family, and health. I am not giving up. I am doing my best. Some days, my best is not good enough, but I will keep trying.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Joi, it is so good to hear from you! I am glad that you have been able to find out the ways you need to get through all that you are going through. You are a remarkable woman and you deserve the best.

    3152 days ago
    Wow Joi, you are going through a lot right now. It sounds like the tears were warranted and probably helped clear some stress that was building for a while. It sounds like you're getting food and school in order. You can do it, hang in there!
    3160 days ago
    Take a DEEP breath .... and again .... now smile emoticon I found out I was a diabetic about 6 years ago - it's not like I didn't know it wouldn't hit me ... fat, overweight, runs in my dad's family. it's just taken me a while to get it through my head that losing my spare tires would also let me stop taking some of the pills I'm on.

    I cook a lot of salmon and then put the leftovers in the fridge and use it in a green salad the next day - PROTEIN all the way !!! Low fat cottage cheese .... plain yogurt, I'll add my own unsweetned frozen fruit. I love food and one way or another I'm going to find a worthwhile way to eat it.

    Keep your chin up ... you can always use my shoulder if you need to.
    3161 days ago
    I'm not even in your situation and I feel overwhelmed along with you. It is so difficult to keep everything in balance ... sometimes it is easier than others but it is still hard. I am delighted to hear that you are approaching everything with your head up and working through the tough stuff. emoticon
    3161 days ago
    Keep your hope! There are times that I feel that is all I have. If I hang on to it...I know that eventually it will turn around and look brighter. Hang in there!
    3161 days ago
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