Stepping up on the hub of the wagon wheel

Friday, March 02, 2012

What happened to the last months? My last blog post was May 7, 2011. That's getting darned close to a year ago. Those days vanished.

Since May 7, I've ended one job, worked to start my own business, passed all my exams to be a Certified Professional Co-Active coach and add more letters (CPCC) after my name, gotten sidetracked a zillion times, spent countless hours with a new friend who needed my time (and I needed to do something with it), had that friend turn pretty firmly against me, met 27 amazing new people in a 10-month long program I'm doing in Co-Active Leadership, mowed my own lawn and shoveled my own driveway, thought about inviting a dog into my home and life, covered the gamut of emotions and moods, and not written about it here.

Partly, I haven't written here because I got my own professional website up and running and I'm blogging over there. But that's different blogging. Here, with you folks, I can be a bit more vulnerable and bit less professional. (If you're curious about that blog and website, send me a SparkMail.)

So here's what else I've done since May 7: I've gained back FORTY pounds. FORTY.

I hadn't stepped on the scale for a long time. Every time I did, it seemed to go in the wrong direction. I would want in my head to make the changes to reverse the direction, but somehow, I'm not finding the joyous motivation I had when I started this whole thing.

I know that if I have a couple of cocktails in the evening, my carb cravings kick in and my mental inhibitions and defenses fall away. And yet, there are times when I really want a glass of wine or a cocktail.

I know that French Fries aren't good for me and I know that I had strategies for eating just a few and leaving the rest. My motivation isn't there to do that.

Finances and a spat with the owners about my trainer led to a separation from my gym. Dawn the Tormentor, no longer with the gym, comes to my house to train me, but I know I'm not getting as much cardio as I was.

I'm trying to find my mojo again. So, as of today, I'm putting one foot on the hub of the wagon wheel and beginning to hoist myself up onto the wagon.

Is anybody there to welcome me back?
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Hi Jeanny bo benny... I'm still here. . . still working to keep climbing back on the horse one day at a time. ..missed you!

    3041 days ago
    Was inspired to read your weightloss journey and a bit sad to see that you gained some back. What matters is that you are back! Welcome! You are one of the many who have proved this can be done - Now if only I can convince myself!!!

    Thanks for sharing your spark!
    3104 days ago
    Welcome back!
    3141 days ago
    Jeanny rhymes with penny - you can do this - we can do this! One day at a time - one meal at a time. We say it all the time with other things - we will mess up - but we can start again. Foot on the hub and let's go!
    3153 days ago
    Welcome back! I have fallen back into old habits myself and am working to get my head turned around so I can start losing what I've gained and then continue on. Life does get in the way sometimes, and we have to find our way back when we're ready. Onward and upward we go!
    3153 days ago
  • SILLYHP1953
    WELCOME BACK!! I sure have missed you. I'm putting my foot up on the wagon wheel hub, too, maybe knowing you are will help me.
    3153 days ago
    I too was gone for a time. When I came back it was fun to see some of the old group but I truly missed some who had also diappeared... three in particular.

    Now, within only a couple months, all three of you are BACK!!! I love when things come together.

    I too write for other venues but agree, this is a place where I can be vulnurable, and proud, and too tired... I can be ever-so-much-more-so-myself here than just about anywhere else.

    I am so happy you are back I could just wiggle!
    3157 days ago
    Welcome back--gaining pounds lost happens to all of us and our choice is to learn from it and work to resume our healthful habits. And find what's sustainable for us. I'm working on that myself. I'm very glad to see you posting again and wish you much luck and perseverance for the new lifestyle you want. Your motivation is coming back--I know because you posted here!
    3161 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/5/2012 7:40:28 PM
    emoticon BACK!!! I was just on your page this last week and wondering where you were!!! See how much you were missed? You will find your mojo again, I am sure of that!!! Welcome back!!! emoticon
    3164 days ago
    I have missed you so much and I am glad you are here and I hope you stay.

    3164 days ago
    Welcome back! I slipped a little too - stopped finding time to exercise. I learned of SparkPeople from you and seeing you back will help me get motivated.
    3164 days ago
    Just yesterday I was thinking about how I haven't heard from you for the longest time... SO gald you're back!!!! emoticon
    3164 days ago
    YES! Welcome back!!!!!

    3164 days ago
    I may not have been around in May of last year, but I'll step forward to say:

    emoticon back!

    The scale may not have moved in the right direction, but life was lived, lessons were learned, and quite the most scenic detour imaginable taken. It's your life and the journey is more important than the destination!
    3164 days ago
    You are ALWAYS welcome back here! You've already taken the first step by logging on here; it's one small step, one small change at a time. You can do it; we're here to cheer you on whenever you need it!
    3164 days ago
    One baby step at a time, you can do it! We all fall down. It's having the courage to get back up that matters (that's always been a fave quote :-). Take it small, take it slow and celebrate the little, non-scale victories.

    Good luck, you've got this in the bag!

    3164 days ago
    WELCOME BACK!!!! The first step is the hardest...or so they say. :)

    Hey, there's no time like the present to get back on the bandwagon and put your health back at the top of your list. You can do this!! Start small and then work big!! :)

    - Michelle
    3164 days ago
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