CLPURNELL
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Falling down...

Thursday, March 01, 2012

I am at the point I really feel like I am stumbling. I feel like I am stuck and it's frustrating. I don't complain. I don't whine. I used to beat myself up. internalize everything but I know that isn't good either. That is what led me to being almost 400 pounds. I have lost 6 pounds since December 13th. I am trying to accept the fact that I have still loss weight. However the part of me that always feel like I don't do good enough is getting louder. Just generally feel like I am failing like I am falling down. I feel like I am trying in a variety of areas but I am no where close to getting the results I want. I know some things I can't change. I have to just do my best and let the chips fall where they may. Still doesn't take away from the fact it sucks sometimes.

I just needed to let that out. not beat myself up. Know that regardless of what is happening with my weight and my life that I am giving it all I have. That has to be enough. That has to be good enough. I have been focusing a ton on cardio the last couple months. I need to build some muscle mass big time. On my off days of training I am going to strength train. My 20 minutes of activity for lent will be strength building. I feel better when I am stronger. I feel stronger mentally and emotionally when I am stronger physically. I may have fallen down but I am getting up. I will never quit on me. I can and I will do this. Life isn't always easy but it is always worth it. I am always worth it. Sometimes I just have to say it. Put it out in the world and really hear it and believe it. I am worth it. I am good enough and I can do this!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • BOLEBRON
    That's the spirit! It is going to be hard but you are strong and you love yourself, you can do it.
    2414 days ago
  • KING_SLAYER
    Chris, brother, I know exactly how you feel. I've lost just short of 6 lbs so far this year. It is so frustrating. Get that strength training, muscle is the most expensive body tissue to maintain so you'll burn lots more calories getting it and keeping it. While strength training, pay less attention to the scale and more attention to how clothes fit and how you feel. The scale may not change much for a while if you're adding muscle. You have come so far in a relatively short period of time and you will continue to shed the weight, it just might slow down for a while. Keep up the good work my friend.
    2414 days ago
  • SIMPLY-MJ
    YOU ARE AMAZING!!!! Yep, that's right. You are amazing.
    1- Because you haven't given up
    2. Because you are finding new ways to try harder
    3. Because I think anyone who does that much strength training is fantastic!

    Have faith in yourself. Because you are giving it all you've got and that truly is enough. Keep having faith in yourself and faith in GOD and you will see results!

    Have a great day!

    ~MJ~
    2418 days ago
  • JDELEON81
    You're still doing amazing. You feel stuck and yet you keep it moving. I love that! I am in the same boat right now and all I have to say is we're gonna get it. You know it.. I know it.. Sometimes the road gets a little longer that's all. We'll move past these little hurtles. I can't wait to hear you beat yours down =) keep your strength, it's friends like you that keep me liftin my feet daily =)
    2418 days ago
  • 2DANCEAGAIN
    YOU ARE PRICELESS MY SPARK BUDDY!!!!
    They say the last pounds are the hardest to lose. It may not go as fast as they did before, but they are still going. Nothing is as strong as your will and belief. I would bet on you EVERYTIME!! You can do this and you will. Your just slowing down a little to give me a chance to catch up LOL!!
    Get that stuff out and then let it go! emoticon

    Love ya more than ever Chris,
    Colleen
    emoticon
    2418 days ago
  • REEBADABEEBOOS
    You've lost 6 pounds since December, so that means two things: 1) You aren't "stuck" ...as in you haven't plateued or stopped losing weight. :) and 2) You're not gaining - that right there is a victory for all of us every single day. You're not gaining - Hallelujah!(And you're losing about 1 pound a week. Might I remind you that 1-2 lbs a week is healthy!!)

    Our weight losses are slowing down as our bodies are becoming healthier and adjusting to our new lifestyles. So that's kind of a good thing right? LoL. I know that it's easier to tell other people all of this than it is to tell ourselves. That's my problem for sure. We are our own worst critics.

    I think you are doing (and have done) SO very awesome! You are such an inspiration to me. So I hope you remember that and don't beat yourself up too much. You definitely are NOT a failure - at this or anything else!

    When you feel like a failure in your weight loss, I hope you remember all of the other areas of your life where you're definitely NOT a failure. Look at your job, your family, your love life. From over here they all look pretty successful to me!

    You said: "I will never quit on me. I can and I will do this. Life isn't always easy but it is always worth it. I am always worth it."
    ...great words. I think those should be taped on your bathroom mirror. :)

    Hang in there friend,
    Courtney

    emoticon
    2419 days ago
  • TAMIPCHICAGO
    You'll do better. Winter is just depressing, and even if we don't "feel" depressed, I truly thing our bodies get depressed from the 1) lack of sunlight 2) bad weather 3) general winter blahs. I think we just naturally slow down a bit inside. Part of nature's clock. Keep doing the things you know are right, and it will all even out over the long run.
    2419 days ago
  • GRANDEFILLE
    I understand you sooo much. i've been writing down wverything to see monthly what I do and what it did... Feb. I have lost 0.00 pounds but I know how much of everything I've done. So my goal for March is to improve on those figures. I know it is only a matter of time before I find the right mix for me.

    You should be so proud of yourself! not internalizing, not complaining and accepting the fact however uncomfortable it feels is a huge improvement. You will find your new balance I'm sure....
    2419 days ago
  • RUSSELL_40
    It might help to go back and review the menus from back when you were losing.. sometimes an extra 100 calories here or there can slow you down. Thats all I can think of. You are exercising, and eating on plan, but sometimes that meal plan gets bumped a little day by day till you are eating either more calories, or foods that do not promote weight loss.

    We always like to add in new foods for variety, but rarely check to see if they affect us. I can't eat artificial sweeteners, regular cheese, or fruit if I want to lose weight. Not that these are unhealthy, but they affect me. If you have something like this, it may just be eliminating that one food to do the trick. You can see this by reviewing you menus.

    When you figure it out, you will have more knowledge, and know what YOU need to do to be healthier. Whatever the reason, it is temporary. Not repeating it, is what is most important.
    2419 days ago
  • HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE
    You are singing my song friend. I go through this all the time. I'm putting the work in, why aren't I seeing results? Just know that you're completely worth it. It may have been slow going the couple of months, but it's still going.... in the right direction. Staying positive and continuing to follow your program is what's going to get it done, even if it takes a little longer than you thought. We're all here for you. *HUGS*
    2419 days ago
  • no profile photo STEADFASTNSEE
    Strength, Stretch and Balance will help in more ways than one!! I take chair aerobics two classes three days a week (which is excessive btw) but it has all four components in it (Cardio and the others) and I am improving! HUGS
    2419 days ago
  • EFFIEANNIE
    You are right, you are worth it!!! Just concentrate on one day at a time. You, like all of us, have good days and bad. My weight is coming off very slowly. I just have to accept that is how I lose weight. and I am so much better off, than when I started. Focus on how far you have come. Hang in there. Sue
    2419 days ago
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