A&I Blog Overcoming Obstacles

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Overcoming Obstacles ~ Getting Back On Track

My biggest obstacles are chronic pain and depression. It's very difficult to diet with chronic pain OR depression because both of these conditions present with a decreased level of serotonin in the brain and of course the best source of serotonin (or I should say more readily available source for the body to use) is in simple carbohydrates. Since I'm insulin resistant and hyperinsulinic this is a tripple whammy. I crave the carbs because of the serotonin, my body wants them because of the glucose and my metabolic functions want them because the insulin removes other sources of energy from the blood steam and my cells are starving. I also have hormonal problems which go along with this that makes me crave carbs as well.

The ONLY way I can break this cycle is by sheer will-power. Which is bunk because what is will-power?? It's a nebulous non-existant creature that if you succeed you are said to have lots of and if you don't you are called weak and a failure. However, I know if I can hang on long enough, and not give in to the depression, the chronic pain (self medicating with food) and the PMS the cravings will deminish. This is difficult, however, because every bit of my body is telling me to ignore my desire to be healthy and pay attention to their IMMEDIATE desire for carbs.

So, what do I do? I pick myself up, dust myself off and start over. And over and over and over and over. Am I succeeding? No. But I'm not failing either. I use to weigh 315lbs. I don't anymore and never will. I just keep doing what I can when I can and starting over every time I have to because I don't have any other option but to give up, and if I do that then I will be a failure. And I refuse to be a failure.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I feel your pain. It gets better, trust me. Keep up the good works on yourself.
    2608 days ago
    great blog Lou you must be strong willed to say no
    2609 days ago
    emoticon blog Lou! I don't know what it's like to be you but I understand to a certain degree where you are coming from. Only you know what it's like to be you, know where you've been and where you want to go. I understand the willpower thing. I think you are doing great!! I think it's great that you keep picking yourself up, dusting yourself off and starting over again multiple times! You are succeeding because you are no longer 315 pounds and never will be again, That in itself is a big accomplishment and you should give yourself credit / praise for it. I see even more accomplishments in your future. Not because of willpower but because you are determined to get where you want to go!! emoticon emoticon

    emoticon emoticon
    2609 days ago
  • RFJSJ50
    You inspire me. I've been in a pain/eating cycle for several weeks now and have undone all the progress I made in January. I don't like the word willpower but I do believe in determination!
    Your words have helped me become even more determined to turn my lack of progress around in the coming months!
    Thank you!
    2609 days ago
  • BARBIE176
    What a great blog Lou. Chronic pain has to be extremely difficult and trying, but you are doing an amazing job of changing and achieving success. You definitely should give yourself more credit because you are seeing some positive achievements by losing some of your weight and you will be able to continue that if you continue your positive thinking. Will power is not an easy thing to define, but you are doing great in accomplishing some of the things you need to do. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2609 days ago
    I like your determination!

    Will power only lasts for so long. I have heard it compared to a sprint, something no one is ever intended maintain, we have to be able to hold a steady burn. But I never seem to have it when there are donuts sitting on the table at work!

    I think you should give yourself more credit; you are definitely succeeding!
    2609 days ago
    I have no knowledge of what you are going through but admire your spirit, keep on keeping on. emoticon
    2610 days ago
    Sounds like a vicious cycle...
    sorry that you are in so much pain.

    Congratulations on doing what you could, breaking the chain and losing the weight thus far.

    Will power? Hmm for me, thats simply setting an intention, and making choices from this position of strength that honor that intention.... conditioning my mind to override immediate desires, emotions, mind noise.

    Sure, its not an easy thing to do... like anything else it requires practice before it becames easier and finally a habit.o

    But you've done it before... or you would not have lost that weight!

    My suggestion is to just focus on your wonderful self, ignore those things that are weighing you down.. that don't fit in with your stated intention... and practice.

    Have you tried EFT, or tapping before?
    This will help you subdue the negative emotions that surround weight and the failure to make choices in line with your intention.

    Here's an addy to a youtube. You will need about 20 minutes to yourself in front of the computer. Just like Acupuncture, it utilizes meridians, but there's no needles involved and you don't have to pay or go to an appointment.

    If you are willing to try it, please let me know how it works for you.

    : )

    2610 days ago
    Lou, I see nothing but good things ahead for you. You understand where you've been , where you are, how to change what needs changing, and why. I understand completely about the willpower. (And every time I read or hear that word, I think of the song, "Willpower, it's now or never...." and then I roll my eyes because that is SO not true when it comes to eating right.
    2610 days ago
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