What did David say?
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Dear David Prescott,
You are right. Thank you.
What is he right about? A while ago he said to me that he'd noticed a pattern with me, that every time I had an 'event' coming up I seemed to throw my rulebook out the window way in advance of said event and go on some sort of free for all spiral (not verbatim).
I was thinking about this last night having just consumed half a litre of ice cream. I don't usually like ice cream, I haven't bought it, actually gone to a shop and brought it home and put it in my freezer for about 6 years. I just don't care enough about it. But I did it yesterday. Even as I was eating it I wasn't really enjoying it. It was just there and some part of me felt I 'should' eat it and I 'should' enjoy it. Then as I lay there trying to get to sleep, I was thinking about how since I was going out on Thur with work, I may as well order breakfast with them tomorrow too.
Then I thought about what David had said. There's almost 5 days before I'm going out with work. That's 5 days I had given myself 'permission' to eat what I wanted because I was only going to put on weight this week anyway due to Thur. Can you imagine the havoc I can wreck on myself in 5 days? I can easily put on 10lbs (my body hates me and carbs it seems). Why would I do that to myself? Because it's easier? Because I just want to be like everyone else in my office who can order breakfast and go drinking and eat sweets and not put on weight? Well, I'm not like them. I can't do those things and it seems that I choose to forget this every single time.
So instead I thought about what David had said and he's very right. I hadn't picked up on the pattern myself but it's as if I give up. I just throw my hands up in the air and commence eating, rationalising that it doesn't matter because I'm going to gain whatever I do. It does matter. This morning, instead of eating with work I made breakfast at home. I'll eat a healthy lunch, I'll make dinner. I won't order in, I wont go and buy some chocolate. I'm not going to do any of these things. I am sticking on the straight and narrow and then I will go out with my office on Thur and I will have a good time. Then on Friday I will pick right back up again. Sure I'll prob gain anyway but this way I'm minimising it. So thank you David :)
PS: I wish I had been online! I love chatting to you!