AAAACK
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In the Dumps - warning, whining ahead

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Sometimes having internet on vacation can be bad. A friend who I like a lot has just basically cut me (and my son) out of her schedule. I don't know if I did something wrong, or if it's just hormonal me taking things personally that really aren't personal. But, and this is the reason for writing this blog, it makes me ravenous. I want to eat like crazy. We're in a vacation home, though, and I only bought enough food to last the few days we're here. So I don't have the food to binge. But what ends up happening is that I have to actually FEEL these feelings.

I don't even know if they're valid feelings. And frankly, it's easier to smother them in food until they fade away. So that's probably my primary reason for repeat binge eating. Smothering my feelings until enough time passes that they don't hurt as much.

It hurts to have a friend not have time for you anymore. It hurts and I don't want to feel that way anymore. So, other than the food trance, anyone got ideas of other ways to forget about this? I can't deal with it while I'm here, my phone doesn't have good enough reception to call her and find out how she's feeling (irritated at me or just overwhelmed with other parts of her life). So I have to wait. And while I wait, I feel horrible. Plus I had altitude sickness yesterday, so I really feel so bingey!

I don't have any of my usual conclusions that I often get while I write. Or maybe my only conclusion is that I know I eat to smother my feelings. Not really big news, but certainly no longer a question in my mind.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • CTUPTON
    Anxiety makes me eat, too. sounds dumb, doesn't it. You hit the nail on the head by saying then we don't have to feel the pain so much. Thanks! Chris emoticon
    3361 days ago
  • ANNIEAPP1
    Great ideas from Spark friends. I'd agree with writing the letter as well as walking as fast and as angrily as you can (if you're in an area where you can walk).

    If you can't walk, go around the house cleaning. Read or watch murder mysteries (for catharsis). Or just admit, "I'm hurt and angry about this. How can I be my best friend and deal with this without hurting myself?" Because you don't need to take out your friend's thoughtlessness on yourself. You don't deserve that. I doubt if she's overeating because she's thoughtless, insenstive, inconsiderate.

    I also agree with getting better friends, and just putting her aside for awhile.

    You deserve better!!!!

    Take care of yourself, kiddo. You're worth it!!!

    Annie

    emoticon emoticon
    3397 days ago
  • no profile photo CD11433668
    Why dont you write her a letter?? You dont have to mail it of course, but it will kill the time while you are there, and get your feelings out.
    3399 days ago
  • no profile photo CD8667808
    I'm having the same problem; if I don't binge, I have to feel the pain. We all have different ways of dealing with it, but the common denominator I've noticed is that whatever comes up is valid and our own genuine experience, which gives me the self respect I need in order to get to the problem solving part. I have a friend who is very sometimey, and its been making me crazy for years, but now I spend more time with people I know are stable. Get support where its good. Hugs!
    3400 days ago
  • no profile photo CD10364891
    don't smother..don't smother - not good in the long run!! I would say with the friend thing, put it aside for awhile and *decide* to have a good time and be completely there for your vacation. Your friend may have other things going on, you just don't know. Once you're home, you can call her and find out. emoticon
    3400 days ago
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