Well, okay maybe not exactly. Just hitting a wall I had hoped I wouldn't hit I guess.
So I got some news before I left work on Wednesday morning. That last hour or so of work was actually rather eventful with news from several fronts (most of which I had to keep under my hat since major announcements were happening during the day...I expect to hear ALL the fall out when I go back in Saturday night, and I don't expect it to be pretty).
But my boss called me to his office with some bad news before I left, news that means I need to make some pretty hefty decisions in the next few days. Basic gist - the severance I'd been selling my soul for (by doing things completely against my moral values like locking down my facebook page and signing away my civil rights so the company I currently work for can stalk me however it wants...in the spirit of "It's just a little longer, I can hold my nose a little longer") is no longer on the table. So now, it's deciding whether that's it and I give 2 weeks on Saturday, take things public and make them fire me, or wait a little longer to give us a little more cush...or what. Don't want to do anything stupid, but can't continue selling my soul to The Devil. So...pondering is.
Which of course made sleep elusive when I got home. My "sleepy meds" (Nyquil) were no help, ibuprofin didn't do anything for the "twitchies", even reading to make my brain sleepy took a while. I know I didn't get to sleep before noon. So when the alarm went off at 4pm I woke up feeling like I'd been hit by a truck. Hard. I tried to wake up and shake the yuck for about 20 minutes, at which point I called my daughter and told her I just wasn't up for it - the headache I woke up with was one of my pre-migraines, and any kind of exertion was going to kick that sucker into high gear.
This HAS to stop. Too many things are getting in the way of training lately, which puts me at risk for injury as I'm not keeping my mileage up in order to build the endurance I need for 26.2 miles.
SO, lots to think about over the next few days. I know I've been eating my stress the past 2 weeks and I'm a little afraid to step on the scale (which I can't do until the kids upstairs return it to me tonight anyway, so I'll assess the damage tomorrow). I am NOT surprised all this is happening just after I hit the cusp of uncharted territory regarding my weight - it's not unusual for us to sabotage ourselves when we get to our lowest weight ever along this journey. But I refuse to let "typical" stop me - I intend to break through the mental barriers and come out on the other side. I just need to make some decisions and shake this thing off.
Oh, and in "this isn't helping my mood" news - it's not looking good for getting Sparkpeople on the backs of our race shirts for the Heart Mini folks, unless four more people magically sign up by midnight tonight. Considering the number of reminders I've sent out and the crickets I've gotten in response, I wouldn't count on it. Sorry guys, I tried. I think next year I'll just join the Healthplex team. I'm done with trying to organize things.