SA9CHI
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What would you do?

Tuesday, February 07, 2012

My friends, who are husband and wife are talking and it is evident that the wife is cutting down hubbie saying stuff like, "You're fat, just look at you! You don't need that cookie!" Hubby is embarrassed that I'm right there hearing what she's saying to him. I feel just as embarrassed as he does! What would have done?

She has told me to try and police what he eats but I will not do that to anyone. I think a person should be their own decision maker in this matter. It would only humiliate and aggravate the situation more.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • MARVEEME
    Free will is everyone's gift. You have no responsibility to police another's behavior in this way.

    Remind this wife that he is her husband, not child, and that you wish to be removed from the list of her "co-parents" in this situation.

    Blessings!
    2714 days ago
  • MARKSTIPANOVSKY
    Sometimes what we say is not what we mean and sometimes what we want could be better communicated...

    In TA the "game" is courtroom... Let's judge and condemn - and all this is out of awareness. So there's no right or wrong - just that's how it is... +Mark

    PS, thanks for reminding me of gratitude yesterday - gave me some thoughts that I wrote about this morning.
    2715 days ago
  • MARTHASPARKS
    I think that you should tell her that you will not help her police her husband.
    I think that you should share with her that the type of stress that results from anyone taking another person's inventory is that the dieter will inevitable turn to food out of either anger of for comfort. You may also want to privately talk to her husband about Spark or send him a couple of articles and suggest that he talk to his wife about her "help".
    Then, I would butt out. If it happens again in front of you, leave.
    2717 days ago
  • THETURTLEBEAR
    Somebody needs to police your friend and her mouth, LOL!
    2718 days ago
  • BLUE48DOWN
    I would definitely say outright that I will not police what someone else eats; that I consider it rude and not my business.

    MNJONES2 made a good point that perhaps privately suggest to the wife that she focus on more positive actions and reinforcements if she feels she must do something. If you're rather close and can "scold" in the way friends can without hurting feelings, I'd mention to her that "airing the dirty laundry" and demeaning him for his weight and choices is humiliating, not motivating.

    emoticon
    2718 days ago
  • MNJONES2
    I would have to talk to the wife in private and have a heart to heart say
    A. I wont police your hubby he is an adult
    B. The only weight you can control is your own.
    C. Perhaps she could do some more positive actions as inviting her hubby on a walk. Negative actions dont work....

    If that fails I would honestly put a bit of space between us.... I dont like being in the middle of family disputes

    Good luck to you!
    2718 days ago
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