Idiot's Guide to Using SparkRecipes

Sunday, January 29, 2012

I have to rant for a moment because this irritates me more than people who don't understand that on-ramps are for accelerating to freeway speeds. There appear to be some "Sparkers" (trust me I wanted to throw out my entire arsenal of insults instead) who just don't get how to use SparkRecipes. Per the blog title, I consider them to be idiots. If you find yourself guilty of any of the following offenses, you have earned the title of idiot so please read these tips over a few times so you know exactly how to play well with others. And yes, I do know that using CAPS is yelling. I am yelling!

1. Check if your recipe is already there before posting it. If it's different by something miniscule, leave a comment instead of adding a whole recipe that's essentially a repeat. Figure out the nutrition for that one ingredient and just do the math on your tracker. If you are doing different ratios of ingredients, go ahead and use the recipe calculator, BUT DON'T PUBLISH IT unless it actually ADDS VALUE to the recipes!!!!!! I'm pretty certain the 290 recipes for taco soup are not all that different but yet I must wade through them all.

2. If you like a recipe, save it to your cookbook. Make it, eat it, then review it. DO NOT REVIEW A RECIPE YOU HAVE NOT MADE YET. You actually SCREW UP the rating section for those of us who use it as a selection tool. Your 0 stars review because it SOUNDS delicious is worthless to EVERYONE. Your 5 stars review for something you think sounds delicious is worse than worthless because it bumps up something you have absolutely no basis to judge. Would you review a movie you hadn't seen or jeans someone only told you about? NO YOU WOULDN'T. So shut your cake hole and withhold your review until you've actually made it and tasted it.

3. If you don't follow the recipe and your food turns to mushy crap, DON'T LEAVE A NEGATIVE REVIEW. You didn't really make the recipe, so don't say the recipe sucked. For example (pulled from a real recipe where the reviewer gave it 2 stars), "We didn't have onion soup mix so we tried just using herbs and it was a little bland." Well then you didn't make the recipe, did you!?!?!?!?! I'd say that's a fairly key ingredient for flavor, wouldn't you? No wonder it was bland. Your keen grasp of the obvious is staggering. I bet you think "alot" is a word, too, don't you? This is like reviewing a Lexus when you test drove a Kia!

4. Title your recipe with what makes it different and mention that in the description. If you absolutely must post the 291st Taco Soup recipe because yours includes something unique and special, then call it "Wild Boar Taco Soup" or "Rich & Creamy Taco Soup" or "Low Carb Taco Soup." Think about it. People search by the title. That's the only place we can search the words. If it uses a whole chicken, put "Whole Chicken" in the title since that's a fairly significant attribute. Then (it's not obvious, I know) describe your recipe in the description. That's what we see under the title in the recipe list. Why is yours different? Why must I try it? Is it a one pot meal, is it a great romantic meal, do kids love it or will it rock my world? For the love of all that is good and holy, please give me something to work with so I know why it isn't the same as the other 290 taco soup recipes!!!!!!

I know this is a slightly negative post, but I just can't stand it any longer. People, this is not an irrelevancy free-for-all where you get to add useless information to your heart's content. This is meant to HELP the community. If your choices aren't helping then reconsider your actions. And don't even try to berate me for this blog entry. If you weren't an idiot then I wouldn't have to write this!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Well, it certainly makes me glad that's I'm not guilty of any of those crimes against Spark Recipes. I'm glad somebody has said in clear and precise language exactly what the user guide tells everybody anyway. I hope a few people read and take to heart your suggestions. There are "alot" of people who do this.
    3387 days ago
  • no profile photo CD11125287
    I know what you mean. It takes a lot of time to look at all the recipes to see if they are different. Hopefully people will take your suggestions.
    3387 days ago
  • CJACK66
    I absolutely loved your blog! Not only was it like reading something out of my own journal (I tend to rant about all things stupid), but also because it was informative. You didn't just rail against what was wrong with the current system, you suggested solutions. Very proactive and helpful! Rather than berate you, I applaud you.

    Keep up the good work!

    P.S. Slow-moving idiots on on-ramps also make me quite stabby and whatnot. ;)

    3387 days ago
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