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Ladybug

Sunday, January 29, 2012

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Thats my nickname for my niece--the extreme sledder. Shes my emoticon my emoticon and my little angel. She's one of the biggest motivators for me on this journey. I want to be around to see her graduate, grow into the beautiful young lady I know she'll be and hopefully to see her start a family of her own someday.

She's beautiful and has a sweetness about her that brings out the best in everyone she meets. She kisses my hands and rubs lotion on my feet when my RA is flaring. She always tells me she misses me whenever we havent seen each other (usually only a few days but I love to hear it regardless). She's truly one of the happiest people I know and I love to spend time with her. My sister is great. She shares Ladybug with me as much as possible. They (my sister, my nephew and my Ladybug) usually come over and spend the weekends with me.

Ladybug came to me during a time in my life when I was at my worst. I was in an abusive relationship and my husband almost killed me. Because of the drama, we were evicted from our home. My landlord basically took everything of value--including pictures that you can't put a price on. I wasn't working at the time and was dependent upon my husbands wages, so when I left him I was beat down (literally and figuratively), broke and homeless. I went into a very deep depression and my family was worried for me. I'm not gonna lie, I did contemplate taking the "easy way out" but that's too selfish. I hadnt felt that kind of pain since I lost my mom and my brother. I just didnt want to hurt anymore. Inside and out--the stress of everything made my RA go into overdrive, along with the pain of loving someone who isnt good for you and my life in general. I had hit rock bottom.

Then she was born. She gave me a reason to wake up everyday. She gave me a reason to want to live again. Shes so beautiful, she would smile at me all the time like she already knew that we would be forever friends. Ours is a special relationship. I hate to admit it but she's my favorite niece. She has a special place in my heart because she was the one that helped heal it. She was soooo tiny as a baby. I wouldnt hold her until she was four months old because I was afraid. I know it sounds silly, but I have no children of my own so holding a little one is kinda scarey for me.

My sister would bring her by everyday and I would visit with Ladybug and pour out my feelings because I felt a comfort from her that I've never experienced before. She would listen without fussing and smile at me. I had a hard time trusting anyone at this time and rarely talked about how I was feeling. But I knew I could trust my tiny baby (my first nickname for her--I still call her "Tiny" to this day because shes so petite). I knew her love was pure and that she wasnt going to "use" me the way my husband and other people have in the past.

Fast forward a few years and we're as close as ever. It's great to be with her. She's the one who helped me become the person I am today. Shes the one who helped heal my heart. Shes the one who showed me to believe in myself. (see Extreme sledding blog) She's the reason why I spark.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • 123ELAINE456
    So happy and glad that You have Ladybug in your life. May God Hold You in His Arms , Comfort You and Bless You in Everything You Do. We have an Awesome God. SparkPeople is the WAY TO GO!!! You Can Do It. God Blessings to Everyone. Have a Super Good Day. Take Care My Friend!!! Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    !!
    2710 days ago
  • FAVORITEAUNT84
    emoticon So awesome. As I'm sure you can tell, I love being an aunt more than just about anything else I've done. Good for you! Extra hugs from your Spark friends! emoticon
    2826 days ago
  • DEERLADY45
    emoticon emoticon What a great and Beautiful story! I also dont have any children of my own but my neighbors across the street have been such a blessings and have watched those kids grow and become so great ! I love them so much and they know they are always welcome and they brighten my day! Im glad your little Lady bug is so important in your life! its amazing what brings us out of those bad times in our lifes! Blessings to you, BONNIE emoticon
    2841 days ago
  • STEVENGO2
    Reyna,
    Like you and Ladybug I have an awesome relationship with my Aunt Jean. She lives in Denver, Co and I live in Pittsburgh, PA. My Aunt Jean is the person who showed me SP and my journey started then. My Aunt and I are so close that our weight is usually 2-5 pounds of each other. When one of us goes up or down the other follows. Right now my weight is 157 hers is 158. When I started SP my weight was 205 and her weight was 202.

    Like you I have been through a divorce that left me $50,000 in debt. I had to declare bankruptcy and after three years I managed to finish the bankruptcy.

    Also like you I have to fight depression and also manic episodes ~ I am bi-polar. When I went through the divorce I went manic. This is the only time in the past 15 years that I needed to be hospitalized because of my illness. I have attempted the shelfish act of trying to commit suicide three times, by overdosing on medications.

    I think it is awesome that your sister willingly shares with you the joy of Ladybug! It looks like Ladybug gives you an amazing reason to be healthy for her, so that you can be there for her as she grows up and lives her life. I think this motivation is terrific. The motivation of losing weight for another person is very powerful. Wanting to be as healthy as you can be for someone else makes your journy remarkable.

    Wishing you well,
    Steven

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    2982 days ago
  • SCREWIE
    I hope you keep this blog and show it to Ladybug at the right time.

    It is a greta tribute!
    3075 days ago
  • MRS_TOAD
    May emoticon know the depth of love always and may you treasure hers.
    3077 days ago
  • no profile photo CD10895053
    What a precious Ladybug you have in your life! emoticon emoticon
    3078 days ago
  • KIMMYWIZZIE1
    Wow! You are a fighter. I'm glad you have your ladybug in your life!
    3078 days ago
  • ANNESYLVIA
    Well, now that I am crying over here! I must say grace of GOD be with you always for HE has given you an "earth Angel" in ladybug.

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    3078 days ago
  • JULIEANNCAN
    emoticon Much love to you. Thank you for sharing all of that. You are a strong woman. I'm glad you have your emoticon !
    3079 days ago
  • IFFYIFFY
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    3079 days ago
  • FREDANN
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    You've been through so much... I'm glad you have her in your life!
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    3079 days ago
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