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Fear of the unknown

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Hi, all,
About a year ago, I applied for an assistance dog to help with my disability. Well, I just found out that I report to team training February 20, and though I am excited, I'm also petrified. I have been making life a living hell for everyone the past week.
I am pasting here my note of apology:

My apologies for the way I've been acting.
This is not meant to excuse my actions (there is no excuse), but to
give you a little insight as to where I am right now.
The idea of team training makes me incredibly scared. Not only because
it means meeting and interacting with new people, which has never been
my favorite thing, but my biggest fear is...failure. Losing the money
that has been contributed on my behalf. Training will be difficult,
and if they decide I can't graduate I will have to return here, to
people who have been eagerly anticipating the dog's arrival, to
questions...if I come home without the dog, people will know I have
failed, that it's my fault.
I see the dog as my last chance at happiness. I've seen so much
unhappiness in my life-unsuccessful relationships, loss, pain. The
possibility of the dog is my last shot. And if things don't work out,
well, I'm not sure what will happen.
I will do my best to interact with everyone as little as possible over
the next month. It's safer for everyone that way.
I hope you can forgive me.
Any support or comments would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Saying a prayer for your success right now!
    2329 days ago
    You are not a failure!

    You'll get the dog or not - this has nothing to do with you being a failure.

    You can do this!
    2331 days ago
    I think you've already gotten some very good advice here. Everyone involved in this wants for it to work out - you, the managers of the program, the other participants. Even the dogs! There is often anxiety for lots of people about facing the unknown. I love the suggestion of looking at this as a learning opportunity....not a test you pass or fail.
    For my last 2 cents....I'd maybe rethink the notion of trying to interact with others as little as possible between now and the training. Maybe getting out and doing things, talking to others, will help you not dwell so much on the upcoming training (which I think might likely increase your anxiety).
    Hang in there.....deep breaths!
    2333 days ago
    Congratulations on applying for the assistive animal program! That took some courage to do. Try thinking of the training as an experiment, the result not being right or wrong, win or lose. It is a learning opportunity, to learn about yourself, and the dog. The dog may need your support too. Don't forget to breathe! Slow and deep. Good Luck!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2333 days ago
    May I suggest a different avenue for your thoughts? There is a quote by, I believe, Henry Ford. Whether you think you are going to succeed or fail, you are right!

    So take a chance on success. Imagine yourself arriving and meeting like -minded people who are anxious about their success and sharing that anxiety dissipates it. The people running the program are wonderful at matching dog and owner. You spend a wonderful time getting to know the animal who will be your best friend.

    Imagine success!!
    2333 days ago
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