stresssss, food/sugar, body image, and workouts

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

hey dudes. Week 4 Day 2 DOOOWN! I've been doing TurboFire HIIT workouts (20, 25, or 30 minutes) during my lunch break or as a warm up to the BodyRock workouts 2-3 times a week. Feeling really good about it... ALSO! My Mr. is in the Air National Guard so he has to keep up with PT tests. He said he's starting to feel like he can't just naturally get by any more so we've been setting running dates at night for him to shave his pace down and I love it!

I feel like working out is helping my stress level. I feel so much better, especially if I can work out at lunch and then come back to work with a more capable and energized feeling. BUT! my sugar consumption has gotten back out of control, and the bad thing is that I will SUB it for good real food. How sick is that? "oh yeah. it's cool, I don't have time to go home for lunch or go to Subway, I'll just eat these 4 cookies and 2 chocolate bars I found in the office kitchen for lunch."
A literal actual thought that went through my head today. that I carried out. yep. not proud.

There's still time for a turn around because every day is a new chance. It's SOOOO hard those first few days, but once I get through it, I"m confident that my cravings for sugar will scram.

I've been thinking about what I wrote in my last blog and also have something to add to it. The point of working out is usually to get smaller (with women), so when I am consistently doing awesome kick@ss exercise 5-6 days a week and building strength, not raising my calories (that have been holding steady for the past 7 months in maintenance, unfortunately with the same macros bc of satan-sugar, except for the 2 brief months of paleo) and yet getting bigger... I should be really freaked out! Like, OMG my pants are getting tight... what was the catalyst that brought on this change if I haven't been eating more???... hmmm.. the only change is that I've been working out more doing crazy hard strength training... NORMALLY I would say well fine! I'm saying NO to hulk quads, hamstrings, and biceps and stopping the strength madness.

But... I like the way I feel after I do those workouts. I like the way I'm getting stronger. I like that in doing the HIIT workouts I can run 3 miles with a fairly low and efficient heart rate. So WHY am I going to let a tape measure or a number on a pair of pants tell me NOT to like that feeling? I'm not going to worry about it any more and just accept the way my body changes and grows muscle. I'm done trying to choose between the 2.
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