ELLIE-1220

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My Journey To -50lbs... With Pics!

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Sometimes it's almost embarrassing to see my date that I joined SparkPeople - 3/29/2006, nearly 6 years ago, and have yet to reach my goal. I've been on the wagon and off again too many times to count. I've been motivated and determined and then faltered and fizzled shortly thereafter. Each time it seemed that I was at a top weight that I was just so disgusted by, and I had to change it. Started just about 207 maybe, and then very self consciously joined the gym despite not having a clue what to do - luckily I had Cassie to help me along - cannot thank her enough! Lost a few pounds, and then life got in the way. Came back and was 217, just kept saying to myself "as long as it doesn't hit 220". Well shortly after fell again, and came back over 220, and again over 230. My highest weight nearing 240lbs! 239.4 to be exact. The next milestone for me to hit was 250lbs... this was a real eye opener for me. I would be 300lbs before I knew it if I didn't change something. 2011 started off really great with a cleanse, and then a Biggest Loser challenge among my co-workers helped keep me on track and build consistency. I really connected on Spark with new people and groups. I took a detour from my goals during the summer months, basically wasn't focused so they weren't made a priority. Put on 10-12lbs. And I'll be damned if that cycle starts again. So back I came with a new fierceness - ready! However, each time I came back I felt like I was getting closer to it happening, being ready, closer to being prepared - closer to "THIS" being "IT". Each time I would consume as much information as I could while I was 'motivated'. And eventually it became overwhelming to have all of this knowledge and information in my head about how to be successfull in losing the weight, and living a healthy lifestyle. It eventually becomes difficult to ignore. Ignorance is no longer an option, no longer bliss. I know better. I knew how to fix this. I know what I need to do. I know it's not going to be easy. I know!!!! I made myself a priority, and this week I finally hit 50lbs lost! I am thrilled. I am just over 39lbs from my goal and it feels remarkably within my reach all of a sudden! I'm excited. I love the new me! I love who am becoming and I never want to go back. I finally believe I can do this. I finally have found some confidence. I don't want to ever forget how great it feels to accomplish this! I am setting new goals which I never imagined for myself, and I love to run! I actually enjoy fitness and health and I love talking to others about and helping others. Who would have thought!? I was told today by my little sister that I inspire her! ME?! Awesome! I am so touched by this, I can't even put it into words... It's overwhelming in the most amazing way. My boys really look up to me now too - they try to do push ups, planks, crunches and all sorts of things! They make little competitions of it, or just start trying and ask how their form is! If I'm doing a work out dvd in my living room, they participate or at least encourage me with their words. I am doing this! Finally. It is never too late. Don't ever give up. Persist. And accomplish your goals one step at a time. I still have a journey ahead of me yet, but I am celebrating today for where I am!



And here's a little photo documentation, as embarrassing as it is:


Cassie helped put this in perspective - 50lbs = a small child!!! Geez!


This picture isn't quite 50lbs - I didn't take many body shots at my high weight so I included my first real progress picture! I'm glad I started doing this - if you haven't yet, perhaps something to consider!


My tummy!!!!


This first picture is the only thing close to a body shot at my high weight - ugh, and then me after my first 5k (Oct'11).


My old Size 18/20 pants that I was over-filling and refused to buy a new pair any bigger! Eye opening for me...

If I can do this, SO CAN YOU!!!! Trust me.
I told my sister today, sometimes it all starts with someone who believes in you more than you believe in yourself in that moment of time. You just have to trust in them, and then in turn you will learn to trust yourself and believe in yourself. And then it all really comes together when you finally believe in you!!!!! For me, the person who believed in me most when I had given up was my husband. He has been consistent in his encouragement, and even sometimes gave me tough love when I needed it most. He's put on DVD's for me when he sees that I'm lacking effort, or stayed in so that I could go out to the gym or for a run. Whenever I have said "I can't", he responds with "Why not?". He is patient and understanding and all around awesome. He loved me at my worst, and I look forward to giving him my best now. I am grateful to have him.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • 2BEEFIT
    I love this blog!
    2343 days ago
  • KEISHARENEE
    You look great! Awesome work! I could of typed some of those words myself, I have dropped the ball more than I care to count. But what makes us winners is that we don't give up, we may fall down and nurse our boo boo's for a time but we're back in it to win it again. That's what makes us stronger that's what it's all about. And kudos to your husband! My husband is really awesome and supportive too.
    2358 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/4/2012 12:52:33 AM
  • CAROLJ74
    Congratulations! I am so proud of you! You are doing an awesome job! Keep up the great work...and keep shining! Love you my friend!
    2366 days ago
  • TIFFANYB23
    Congrats!!! You look fantastic! You SHOULD be so proud of yourself! Congrats on the 50 pounds! Can't wait to celebrate with you when you reach your goal!
    2369 days ago
  • MISSB8604
    Girl, you are seriously FANTASTIC, BEAUTIFUL and so BLESSED!

    I am so proud of you and proud to call you my SparkFriend.

    CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!
    !!!!!!!!!!

    emoticon
    2369 days ago
  • SWEETZMIX
    emoticon
    And it doesn't matter how long it takes, just as long as you get there. Keep rocking on!
    2370 days ago
  • NINNY165
    Congrats on your progress.I understand your pain.I am 50 lbles from my goal also.I have had some wondrful friends that have said Mke it happen....sometimes I am onauto pilot...just do it ,don't think about it...
    2370 days ago
  • ELLIE-1220
    Awesome honey. I am sooo proud of you.
    Momma Bow
    2370 days ago
  • -SONIA-
    emoticon emoticon
    You are rockin' it!! emoticon
    2370 days ago
  • JUSTYNA7
    I love that my girls said they would include me if there were to be an zombie apocolypse... because give me a task and I will do it. I am an energizer bunny. It was the nicest thing they could have said.

    I used to be all or nothing. Take on big challenges then stop. That was the biggest change with spark people. No more huge challenges that were one time events meant to get to my goal then stop. No, instead I looked at things I could change forever. Those ten minute every day exercise goals. The increase in veggies every day. I can still do a 5K or mini challenge but those are no longer the important goals. Those are the things I can do to "try new things" or not get bored.

    It is the decisions I make every day that count. Today, not tomorrow, not yesterday. You were one of my first team mates and it has been wonderful watching your progress. You too are an energizer bunny. You can be part of my zombie appocolyps "team" any time, lol.
    2371 days ago
  • CASSIEKC27
    I'm so proud of you, and look at that now you have the before and after pics that everyone loves too see ... to know its do able. You inspire others keep up the good work, and I'll see you at the gym this afternoon.
    2371 days ago
  • MAPLECANDY3
    Congrats on hitting 50lbs!!!! You are looking fabulous!
    2371 days ago
  • NOTGIVINGUPEVER
    You look great and what an inspiration you are to me. It's good to hear from someone who has done well and then had some set backs, only to overcome them. I am starting again after gaining back all the weight I lost before and then some. This is a great motivator blog!
    2371 days ago
  • VIAFREE
    Looking good Mamma! I so needed to read a good story of inspiration and success today and this was it. Keep going'
    dont ever stop. Wonderful! emoticon

    shel
    2371 days ago
  • MELP06
    Awesome job! You are doing great, and I'm sure that you will continue to!
    2371 days ago
  • HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE
    CONGRATULATIONS! You've done great, and you should be SO proud!
    2371 days ago
  • ADVENTURESEEKER
    Awww yaye!!!! What a fab post!! Sometimes it also gives me encouragement to look at my pictures before and now- motivation when I'm lacking it!
    2371 days ago
  • BLUE48DOWN
    emoticon

    I really liked this part of what you had to say:

    =====================
    Each time I would consume as much information as I could while I was 'motivated'. And eventually it became overwhelming to have all of this knowledge and information in my head about how to be successfull in losing the weight, and living a healthy lifestyle. It eventually becomes difficult to ignore. Ignorance is no longer an option, no longer bliss.
    =====================

    Sometimes it just feels like there is too much information to absorb it all, but we do over time learn and accept it bit by bit, until we can't tell ourselves it's impossible - because we KNOW it is possible if we just work at it.
    2372 days ago
  • SPARKLECAREY
    Thank you for sharing all of this. I am just starting and am almost exactly where you were. You have done a great job and it is very, very hard to do what you are doing (and what I am just starting today). I hated pictures, but they are so helpful. You have to have it in your face how dangerous you look to wake up. And they are a great motivator. I think I will take some right now....maybe...yikes. Gotta pull the band aid off. I will appreciate any motivation or encouragement you throw my way. Keep going you are doing great! emoticon
    2372 days ago
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