MLCLARKE22

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never really told my story so here it is..

Friday, January 20, 2012

I'm at the starting line of the rest of my life..I'm as ready as I've ever been..Got the hunger and the stars in my eyes the prize is mine to win.." lyrics from Ready, set, don't go

My story begins as a child..When I was little I was tiny and then I got to middle school and got a little chunky..I'm short(only 5'1") and weight looks differently on me. In high school I wasn't skinny but I wasn't fat, but I was definitely bigger than the other girls. I have always been athletic playing soccer 3 seasons a year and softball all of my life. When I went off to school I quit playing sports and got into bad eating habits and gained weight.

Freshman year of college I met a guy who at the time I thought was great..but over the next 6 years of my life he mentally and verbally abused me. Along with the copious amounts of pot we smoked I gained weight. Probably 2 years before we broke up I joined weight watchers with my mother because she needed support and I wanted to lose the 20lbs I had gained. Weight watchers was great. I lost close to 60lbs and was my skinniest ever! Too bad everyone told me I looked sick..I was obsessed with losing weight! The jerk of a boyfriend I had hated it too because now I was getting more attention and he always accused me of cheating. Turns out he was the one cheating!

We broke up and I met my husband very soon after(2 weeks!) AT the time we met I was at a healthy weight and very happy with my size. I was working out 2 times a day and loving it. Well we dated on and off for about a year and half and then we got pregnant. During my pregnancy I gained alot of weight due to my lack of exercise and preeclampsia. I was on bed rest for the latter of my pregnancy.

After the birth of our daughter in 2006 I got really sick and was eventually diagnosed with crohn's disease in 2007. In the beginning my crohn's was moderate. At this time I joined a gym and began working out for our wedding. I bought a dress that was too small and by the time our wedding came around in sept 2007 I had to have the dress taken in!

Shortly after our wedding I became pregnant with our son. I took it upon myself to take myself off of all of my crohn's meds and had an overall healthy pregnancy. I only gained 22 lbs and worked out until the day before my scheduled c-section in August of 2008.

Fast forward to fall 2009/early 2010..I decided I was going to train for a half marathon. I was doing great..and then I got 2 stress fractures in my leg and had to wear a walking boot right up until the race..but I was determined to race so I got my boot off the week before, ran a 5k and completed my first half in 2 hours and 35 mins(prior to my injury i was pacing to finish about 2 hrs and 10 mins). I was so proud of myself..I balled my eyes out when I saw my husband waiting for me at the finish line! needless to say I had to wear my boot for a few more weeks after that but it was well worth it!

However in the midst of all this my Crohn's was starting to get out of control! I sought out a new Dr. who put me on the all evil prednisone which blew me up like a tick! I felt like all my hard work was for nothing. I was on the meds until June of 2010 when the Dr ordered some additional testing. A couple of days after the testing my Dr called and told me I needed to see a surgeon as there was a stricture in my small intestine. I was originally told they could go in and open the stricture but when I met with the surgeon she told me that unfortunately that was not an option and that I would need a bowel resection. So she took me off of my steroids so I could prepare for surgery. I went in on 7/7/10. They removed approx 2 feet of my small intestine as well as a meckel's diverticulum(which affects like 10% of the population). I was in surgery almost 2 hours longer than expected and my parents and hubby were scared. I spent the next week in the hospital and then was finally sent home. I was home for a week and then unexpectedly got extremely sick and my husband rushed me to the closest hospital(not where i had my surgery!) after 10 hours at this particular hospital I was told that I had appendicitis which was impossible since it had come out 2 weeks prior during my resection..My mother immediately called my surgeon and had me transferred to another hospital where I spent the next 10 days violently ill. The Dr's preformed many tests and concluded that it was a complication from my surgery. I was finally sent home on a bucket load of meds(more prednisone! ugh!!)for my husband to care for me! I finally got to go back to work in August only to have my Dr call and tell me that I needed a ct scan to make sure I wasn't having another flare up in order to start a new medication...the day after the ct scan I received a call from my surgeon saying she needed to see me that afternoon..i was completely scared so I had my mother come with me. Apparently that "complication" from my surgery was actually another 18cm blind loop of intestine that needed to come out ASAP...Really??? Could it get any worse? So I went in the next day and had another surgery and spent another week in the hospital. In Sept 2010 they started me on Remicade to keep my crohn's in check.

By this point my husband didn't know what to do..we often fought about my health because he wasn't informed enough about crohn's but after doing some research and learning more he helps keep me on track. I really wanted another baby and the dr's pretty much that it was now or maybe never again so as soon as the dr's gave me the ok i got pregnant and gave birth to my baby girl this past August.

My weight is the highest that it has ever been. When I got pregnant I was still carrying alot of weight due to the high doses of prednisone I was on before and after my surgeries. i didn't gain too much weight during this pregnancy but could not work out due to a critically low potassium level most likely caused by my crohn's disease.

My crohn's is pretty well controlled for the most part, but is still considered to be severe. I get sick all of the time. I occasionally still have flare ups but I am def better at keeping them under control. It is extremely hard for me to eat healthy all the time because all the delicious healthy foods are actually the ones that make me the sickest. my husband has even questioned my eating habits lately knowing that I am not supposed to have alot of raw fruits and veggies or even oatmeal for that matter, but I need to do this for me.

This weight isn't who I am. I am more than ready to take a hold on my life and my disease and get healthy for me and for my family. I want to be around for a long time. I know I can do this and I am more than ready. It's go time!

This is it. I have officially come up to the end of week 3 and I have realized that I really am ready to do this. This weight isn't who I am. I am more than ready to take a hold on my life and my disease and get healthy for me and for my family. I want to be around for a long time. I know I can do this and I am more than ready. It's go time!

Thanks for listening and thank you all for your support! It means more than you all know!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • PROJECTFIT4LIFE
    you right this weight doesn't define you! it sounds like you know what to do...and you'll get to your goal eventually. its not a race, its a journey :) thanks for sharing your story!
    3397 days ago
  • no profile photo CD4892468
    Thanks for sharing your story!! You have had a lot of ups and downs and think it is high time for some ups!
    3399 days ago
  • BLAIRJ1
    Oh my goodness, what a rough road you've had, but you are CLEARLY a fighter. The great think about Spark people is, if you meet people like yourself that can empathize and give you that support, you will keep coming back, even if you stray for a bit. Make those connections early on. I'm happy to support you, it can be a very rewarding journey :)
    3399 days ago
  • GETSTRONGRRR
    Wow what an amazing story! Any one of those is a lot for any one of us to deal with....you seem to have handled them amazingly well.

    Keep listening to the docs, get as smart as you can, listen to your body, and PERSEVERE!!
    3400 days ago
  • CDK210
    wow! i have a friends who has crohn's and has had the surgery and was doing remicade treatments every 6 weeks, and i know through it all, she hid just how painful it was for her. it always blew my mind that the foods we would normally consider "healthy" were exactly the foods that caused her the most trouble. so sorry to hear that you are also dealing with all that crohn's brings. :(

    hang in there. i'm sure you'll find what works best for you!
    3401 days ago
  • FLEDWARDS28
    WOW!! Your story is so intense. Sounds like you've had a really rough time and it will probably continue for awhile. It's very inspiring that after all you've been through you are still determine to lose weight and be healthy. I really hope you can find a balance between healthy fresh foods and the ones you are supposed to be eating. I truly believe you can do this b/c you sound so ready!!!

    On a side note, I joined WW this week and have been very impressed with my results so far.

    Oh and I like your hair blonde better for some reason. emoticon

    emoticon emoticon
    3401 days ago
  • LOOOKINGOOD
    You are one tough cookie...thank you for sharing your story.
    3401 days ago
  • MLCLARKE22
    Thanks!!I have actually seen a nutritionist but it is still really hard..not a fan of canned fruits and veggies..they are nasty..love fresh! and as for other foods they pretty much have me eat "white" foods..ie breads/pasta..but I only do that if I am having a flare up and when I am really feeling bad I stick to protein shakes(the ones that don't bother my belly!)..super fun, right?
    3401 days ago
  • no profile photo CD9767578
    Sounds like a rough go of it! Glad you are doing better. Would it help to see a nutritionist to discuss what would be the best way for you to eat healthy without eating the things that can exacerbate your Crohn's? I don't know enough about it to say but thought it might be a thought. That way your hubby won't have to feel like your food warden in his concern for your health.

    emoticon
    3401 days ago
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