Snow day guilt

Thursday, January 19, 2012

I live in the Pacific Northwest, where snow is general rare. We usually get a a few inches a couple times a year but nothing major. At the moment we have 8 inches, with a good quarter inch of ice on top of it. Not much fun.

I don't drive in snow. Well, I do, but I tend to make myself sick worrying the whole way there and then burst in to tears once I park. It's a phobia that drives me crazy, but it is what it is.

I made it to work yesterday, but today I just could not get myself in to the car. I tried everything I could think of, but the thought of trying to drive through the ice storm caused me to have a panic attack. I emailed work to let them know that I would not be in. The response I got back was that I was the only one who didn't make it, which came off (at least in my head) as "Well, you're the only loser having this problem. Suck it up."

I later found out that two other people did not come in either, so that made me feel a little better. Tomorrow I will be there as I have a ride lined up already. I am dreading going in tomorrow though. I know there will be people upset that I was not there today (how dare I leave them with extra work) and snide "joking" comments about me not making it in. I feel guilty for not going, even though I know that I made the right decision. A person having panic attacks should not be driving under any circumstances, but especially not on an icy road in the middle of freezing rain.

I wish I could overcome my fear. I wish I didn't let people down. I prefer to make everyone happy, and came very close to driving in just so that people wouldn't be mad at me, even at the risk of my own person. Well, I guess I have two problems; driving in the snow and people pleasing. Oh good, something else to work on.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post

    Be the First to Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.