Thursday, January 19, 2012
My fiance is taking me to Miami in April...YAY, right? Wrong! Instead of thinking of the amazing time we will have relaxing on the beach and dancing the night away, all I can think about is how fat I am compared to all those beautiful women in Miami.
This insecurity makes no sense. I know my fiance loves me and only has eyes for me. I know it's ridiculous to compare myself to perfect 21-year-old Latin women. But it's hard not to think of how enormous my thighs are and how the roll of fat is still apparent even in my one-piece "slimming" black swimsuit. All of my "cute" jeans create a muffin top.
These insecure thoughts caused me to have a terrible binge last night.
But today I'm determined to look at this trip for what it really is - a chance for me and my babe to relax and connect in a beautiful place. It's the opportunity to create another wonderful memory of our time together. I'm grateful to God for giving us the financial means to go on such an awesome trip (it wasn't always like this for me). And finally, this trip will hopefully provide the motivation I've been lacking to really get and stay on my plan.
Today I'm going to take a "before" picture of me in my two-piece swimsuit. Hopefully I will be able to post an "after" picture of me on the beach in Miami wearing it!