Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Okay, so my title for this entry has multiple meanings behind it.
1) Why not...make a blog entry?
It's been about a week and a half since I last wrote here. I've found if I enter only when the mood strikes me, I'm able to share more and feel comfortable doing so. I just haven't felt like writing. Why not? I've been lazy. Period. I haven't been keeping up with my papers to grade or cleaning my house or logging my food or exercising like I should be. I've kind of been in a bit of a funk for no apparent reason. Can I blame my hormones, please?
2) Why not...eat and drink my way through the weekend?
I've been hanging out with some friends who are "skinny fat". You know the type, they eat and eat and drink and drink and stay skinny. I know I could kick their skinny, unhealthy butts in running or cycling event, but I also wish I could eat and drink and be skinny, too. Alas, that is not how my genes are. I've been doing lots of reading about people who have to be a slave to counting calories and exercise to maintain their bodies. I think I will be that person, too. I hate this about myself, but I'm coming to terms with it. Maybe this past weekend was my last, desperate attempt at denying how my life needs to become in order to achieve my fitness dreams.
3) Why not...make excuses to eat poorly and not exercise?
This answer ties in with my previous answer. I think I've written somewhere on my page about how I am continually gaining and losing the same 20 pounds each year and have never reached my ultimate goal weight/body fat. (If I haven't, well there's my confession.) I always seem to make excuses for my poor choices...it's the holidays, it's too cold, my husband wants _________ for dinner and I need to eat it, too. One day I was listening to a co-worker complain about her weight, as she ate a Twix bar, ("Ewww" was all I could think...seriously, google "Twix" and look at the photos.) and hit me full force that I do this. Why do I sabotage myself? Do I not think I'm worth it? I will say, since I have stopped watching TV and reading beauty magazines, my self-image has risen considerably. It is a slow awareness dawning, but I am worth the effort! I can and do say no!
I CAN DO THIS!
Do you all understand? Has anyone else had their self-image lowered because you compare yourself with celebrities? Have you ever googled your favorite candy bar only to discover it looks gross?