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Monday, January 16, 2012

Ok so a week ago I wrote my first blog of 2012. My father had his first round of chemotherapy last monday. I thought everything was ok till I got the call and my father collapsed. He was in ICU for almost a week. He will remain in the hospital for another week so that he can get stronger, This past week has been rough. I'm scared and all I do is fight with my brother and his girlfriend. I feel like my brothers girlfriend is trying take my place in my fathers heart. No one sees it but me and when I tell people they tell me that I am over reacting. I just want her to know that she is not the baby girl of the family I am. I know this is childish. I am going to be 32 in May but this is a man that has taken care of me since I was 3. I did not have a real father. He is my dad he has always been there for me through everything. I am scared to death that I may lose him. But when I do lose him my whole family will fall apart. since I dont have that strong bond with him I will lose everything. With all this stress I didnt do that great with my eating or doing my challenges. However I do go back to school tomorrow so that means I will be moving and walking alot more. I will start the gym tomorrow or Wednesday, whenever I can get in cause I have to get approved to work out at the school. I have lost about 5 pounds though in 2 weeks so I just need to work harder, I know that I can do this and I will. Thank you for all of your support and advice. Please keep my family in your prayers we need all the miracles we can get.
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