The Holiday Party That Never Should Have Been

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Tonight I went to the holiday party for my work. It was...umm...rough. Lots of general awkwardness. I believe the guy that sat with me was hoping that this was a date, which it very much was not, which seemed to make him depressed, which just made things even more awkward. I got to watch most of my coworkers and managers get drunk out of their minds (which is why I have decided that I am never touching alcohol again), which I kind of wish I had never seen, because I truly lost respect for a few of them.

I was completely red in the face most of the night (my face was hot and flushed for some reason, not sure why) and my shirt wasn't sitting right, which made me feel immodest, which made me uncomfortable the entire night. The food was wasted on me, I couldn't eat most of it and shouldn't have eaten what I did have. The music was nothing that I really listen to and a lot of it was dirty, with the inappropriate dancing to go along. To be honest, I really wish that I had stayed home and hung out with my nephew. I felt like a very odd creature, out of place, like I wasn't even me, and I definitely did not stand up for what I believe as much as I should have. I was also completely exhausted. I worked at 6AM and was awake at 5AM, so being up till midnight was not the best idea. Sigh. I probably should not have driven home, I am going to end up in an accident one of these days.

I will grant that I did have good moments, such as, spending time with my brother and his date who was wonderful and talking with a few different people. I tried to step outside of my comfort zone a few times, but again the whole night was pretty much the antithesis of the night that I was hoping for. What more can you expect, I suppose. Though I think it is safe to say that I will be bowing out of next years holiday party.

Oh and I apologize, but the pictures of my outfit are probably not going to get posted. At least not right away. This whole night has left me feeling completely out of it and very much in need of some time with my Lord. Thanks for understanding.
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    I know exactly how you feel. My Christmas work party was pretty difficult too. I had a bit of a dance, but felt like a frump and totally under-dressed compared to everyone else, but also too over-dressed to what I normally would wear. I left at 11pm as the music was so loud i couldn´t hear anyone talking, and i didn´t want to join in with the drunken antics, so I was sitting on my own feeling uncomfortable. I wish we had just gone out for a meal, so people could talk and not have to go crazy. And next year I won´t be going again. But I´m glad I went and made the effort and i did learn a lot about myself and my needs. Its good that you were sensitive to your needs, instead of getting very drunk to try and enjoy it, you were strong and realised that this isn´t your way of enjoying your self. Well done.
    2349 days ago
    I'm awkward at parties too. Always feel like the odd one out.
    2352 days ago
    Oh, hun! I am so sorry that the party was a bust! But you know what? I am so proud of you for going! I know how much courage and confidence it took for you to even think about going, and if nothing else, you can celebrate in that. These are the moments in life that help us figure out what we really believe about ourselves, God, and right and wrong. There was a reason you were there.

    You go, girl. :)
    2352 days ago
    Not all holiday parties at companies are like that, but normally as soon as alcohol is involved it gets that way. I have never understood why you would want your coworkers to see you drunk. I'm proud of you for not giving in. All life lessons, no matter how small are important.
    2353 days ago
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