Why do I apologize during a pelvic ultrasound?

Friday, January 13, 2012

Don't you hate it when you have to pay money to be completely embarrassed? I had to get a pelvic exam. We're checking in on my lovely ovaries that just don't like to act right. So the first one is a reg ultrasound where I had to have a full bladder... don't ask me, it was in the instructions. It was like a baby ultrasound and I had a ton of those with the boys so no prob. Me and the technician got all chatty Cathy. But right before she rubbed that goo all over my belly for the ultrasound she goes "How many times have you been pregnant." I answered. "How many children do you have?" This is a hard answer for me because of the miscarriages I've had. So when I answer I kind of shut up. The technitian looks at me and literally to my face says "I don't judge people. I'm prochoice." So instead of saying "hey, I didn't have abortions." I say...

"Sorry. "

It was really quiet after that. I wasn't mad at her. I'm young, I have pink hair, I have a hello kitty purse, I can see the assumption. But the room was just awkward.
Then it was time for the "inner" exam. She had to get the wand thingy right by my ovary so it had to be inserted. She left, I got undressed. And then it hit me that my skin is all loose around my thighs, I haven't "gardened" (my mom's nice way of saying shaving the area), my stomach is still saggy, I just don't look good down there. But the technician is basically barbie. And even though its her job to be waving a wand around that area all day, I just auto assume I'm going to be the worst she's ever seen. So she pulls up the covers to do her job and I say...


Can someone tell me what's wrong with me?
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I feel for you....I'm one of those people always saying "sorry" too. I sure wish I knew why we do it! I hope the ultrasound went ok, though.
    It really makes me angry that she assumed something she had no business assuming! Don't you kind of wish you could go back and tell her off?? I do!
    Hope you are feeling better. emoticon
    2864 days ago
    I'd agree that the first "Sorry" was more your way of avoiding an uncomfortable confrontation on her incorrect and, honestly, rude assumption. Even had the patient been one who had abortions, that is highly inappropriate to imply through the comment. (If anything, correcting her misconception might have helped her realize just how wrong what she said was. But nothing "wrong" with you for wanting to avoid the topic.)

    I tend to hesitate when asked how many I have because I gave one up for adoption. I raised, and "had" in my life, two. I gave birth to three. I give the answer fitting to the context. If a doctor asks, I'm going to answer three. If a stranger asks, I'll often say "I raised two. I gave one up for adoption".

    The second "Sorry" is completely normal - even in a very professional medical situation, we tend to feel awkward and exposed, every flaw that we know or imagine with a harsh light on it. Nothing wrong with that at all.
    2864 days ago
    I'm one of those "I'm sorry" people too. She shouldn't have assumed anything about you and I hardly think you're the worse she's ever seen. Forget about it.
    2864 days ago
    First off it was completely unprofessional of her to "assume" anything because of the way you look, what you wear or anything else. I have a really hard time with people like that. Second you do not have to apologize to anyone for anything (unless you did something you shouldn't of done). Be proud of who you are, square those shoulders back, lift that chin, pull those shoulder blades together and take a deep breath. Did you hear me? YOU DO NOT HAVE TO APOLOGIZE FOR ANYTHING TO ANYONE....

    ~Elenore Roosevelt "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. ". NO ONE! And that is my message for the day!
    2864 days ago
    There is nothing wrong with you. With the first comment I would have "lit" into her since it is not her place to assume anything no matter how your hair looks or what you are carrying as a purse. I know it is embarrasing for you so you say the only thing that would make sense to her. As far as the second " Sorry" I would have apoligized for that one myself so again nothing wrong with that at all. Since she "looks like Barbie" she would have thought those thoughts to require the sorry in the first place. Just my honest opinion. Never think there is something wrong with you because there isnt!
    2864 days ago
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