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Can't do much but laugh about it.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

I've written a blog like this before. And because I'm in one of those *rare* sarcastic moods [like how I threw sarcasm into talking about sarcasm?] I thought I'd write another blog about it.

Because I'm sick and tired of thinking about my weight, how I look, and what it will take to get me to "magical me".

I like to run.
Okay, that's a lie.
I don't *like* to run, I like the feeling after I'm done with a run.
Here's a glimpse into one of my typical runs:

1-2 Minutes in: "Oh Yeah, I feel great, I can do ANYTHING! Perhaps when I'm done with this fantastic workout I will solve world hunger."

3-5 Minutes: "Alright, so my lungs feel like they're on fire - who cares! I'll get through this. Maybe I'll put off the world hunger thing until Thursday.."

6-10 Minutes: "That's it. I'm dying." *life flashes before my eyes*

11-12 Minutes: "Well, I've ran a mile, I guess I might as well keep going. You can do this!" *picturing myself in a bikini when I'm skinny*

12-30 Minutes: "This was a terrible idea."

Every time, people. Not just once. It doesn't matter if I've been training for a half or if I've been out of the workout loop and I'm totally out of shape [which is right now], every run sucks equally.

But somehow, I convince myself to keep doing it.
Because I take joy in punishing myself with fervor?
Suicide attempt?

I'm joshin' ya.
The main reason is for the endorphin high.
It's fantastic.
But the after-effects aren't too shabby either.
You know, the whole "slim calves, arms, chest, abs" thing?
That's pretty legit.

And yeah, I've totally been slacking.
For the last like...six months.

Every day I wake up and think....what did I do a year ago that worked so well?

I'll you what I did.

I got off my ass and forced myself to go to the gym.
[Because honestly, all cliches aside, getting yourself there really *is* the hardest part]

To put the food down.
[*smacks my own hand* NO CHEESE FOR YOU]

To look at the positive.
["No worries, sir. I actually LOVE it when people hit my car!"]

All the while I was losing weight. [Blasphemy! That can't *actually* WORK!!]

And here I am. One of the 90% [or whatever ridiculous number it is] that lost weight and ends up gaining it back.


But you know what? The past is done.

Not a whole helluva lot I can do about it except constantly think about it and feel bad about myself for being such a lazy bum.

A lot of good that's doing me.

And so it begins.


For like, the 800th time.

No more looking back.
Or regretting.
Or thinking. [it's exhausting, really]

Just me and the treadmill.
Running, wishing my metabolism would throw me a frickin' bone and do all the work for me. [if only]

But like they say, the 801st time's the charm, right?
Yeah, I think I've heard someone say that.

Keep Calm & Spark On, peeps.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Ahhhhyou speak the truth! We just have to keep swimming, sometimes that is all we can do with the faith it will all pay off in the end. Keep swimming!
    2291 days ago
    I think it's time we all changed that stat - I'm with you!
    2291 days ago
    Love/hate relationship with running - I definitely understand that. The burning lungs? Way too much understanding there. So much understanding that I got an asthma inhaler to use before running.

    I too wish there were some magical way to lose weight, but we all know how to do it and it's just getting off our backsides that's the biggest problem.

    Love the sarcasm!
    2291 days ago
    Haha! Loved this post! That's definitely how I feel!

    It's the 100th time I'm revisiting the same thing! I'll be on the same path as you! Lol

    Keep us updated!
    2291 days ago
    I hear ya! I am having the same problem. I did so good for over a year, then last year I slacked a little. Holidays were the worst and here we are 12 days into January and I haven't done anything!!! I'm glad others are feeling this way! Now--I think I will go spend some quality time with my treadmill! Thanks for the motivation!
    2291 days ago
  • MRS.NG.06
    its like reading my very own thoughts when running! glad I'm not alone, thanks for sharing that!! :)

    I am amazed every day that we have the knowledge to do it, not always the time, but we can make it happen...not with a miracle pill, cuz they dont exist without consequences of some sort..oh like kidney failure, heart palpitations or starving yourself..its sooooooooooooo easy to slide back wards.

    Right there with you chickie...I'll join you for the 800th time as's to the journey..pitstops and all!
    2291 days ago
  • STEPHAB1218
    HAHAHAHA!! I love this...sometimes humor is really what it takes. Tell yourself you love working out, eating right, ect...someday it may be true (or not) but its better than the crappy fat feeling! :)
    2291 days ago
    Very funny!
    2291 days ago
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