I'm back with a vengence! And, wondering how I let this happen.
Sunday, January 08, 2012
Well, Sparkies, its time to write that dreaded blog. The one that confesses a fall off the wagon. The one where I try to understand how I could go right back into old, unhealthy habits so easily. I never thought it would happen to me, but it did.
Where to start... One of my biggest motivators for losing the 40+ pounds was our family vacation to Disney. As our trip approached, I found myself being less and less dedicated to my healthy lifestyle. Back up to before the trip.. I quit my job and became an independent contractor with a bunch of new positions to juggle. So...STRESS!!!
Then, in November, I got pregnant. It ended in an early miscarriage. Having another was always the plan. So, as we got closer to trying to conceive, I got into the "this is not the time to worry about losing weight" mindset.
Then, Christmas hit. My holiday eating habits were absolutely disgusting! It was like I was involved in some kind of contest to see who could consume the most crap! It was horrible! I weighed myself before the holidays. I was only up 10lbs at that time. Last week, I was up 20:(! So, I am happy that I didn't gain ALL the weight back, but I definitely need to get it off again, then go even further toward my goal. We still want to have another baby, so, I'm hoping to lose the 20 that I put on before getting pregnant. Then, have a healthy pregnancy and finish my journey to a healthy weight after the baby is born.
So, on to happier news. I'm finding it easy to get back into healthier habits. And, that healthy person is who I want to be. I don't want to be the person who gorges herself on any morsel of food that comes along. I want to be in control and enjoy food in moderation. I want to be active. I want to be ok with seeing pictures of myself. My husband loves me unconditionally, but I want him to think I'm smokin' hot. I want my kids to be proud of me! I want to be able to shop in any store and not worry if they carry my size. I want to remember how gratifying it is to drop a pants size. I know I'll do it.. I know there will be bumps along the road, but I'll make it.