Getting some great perspectives
Thursday, January 05, 2012
This week I have been reading more blog posts for other sparkpeople members. Mostly those that have successfully lost a large amount of weight and are in the maintenance phase. I love hear what motivated them and how they maintain. A common theme has emerged that has surprised me. It is about so much more than calories and fitness minutes...
I am here to lose 15lbs...not 90+. My journey is incredibly different than those I have been reading. Some days, though, it does feel like there are 90+ pounds clinging to me that will be near impossible to shake.
I have a history of an eating disorder. I have struggled to have a healthy relationship with food since I was a teen.
After my daughter was born, I vowed I would not live out an eating disorder in front of her. I made a lot of changes and have done well to stop starving myself and binging. I also began exercising regularly when she was 3 months old. She has only seen me fit and active. She has never seen me starve myself.
Despite my gains, I still have not figured out how to maintain a healthy weight in a healthy way. Eating the right amount of calories is struggle. I either go too much or too little. I get frustrated and preoccupied which results in my gut filling with anxiety. When bad habits start to creep in, I just drop the weight thing altogether because I don't want my daughter to see me struggle. I turn to exercise since I do know how to manage that.
My experience on sparkpeople has been amazing. I am finally learning. Not just how to count calories, but how to view food differently. My eyes have been opened to a lot of excuses I have been using to justify not doing things right. By reading blogs, I have gained great insight.
And I am coming to realize this is about a lot more than numbers on a scale or the size of my jeans. It is about facing who I am and what a I do and how that affects my life.
A great quote I saw on another sparkpage...
"Do something today that your future self will thank you for."
That is what I am going to do for 2012. My resolution, so to speak.
I will continue to count calories and log fitness minutes and reach toward my goal. That is the easy stuff! I am also going to start dipping my toe into the expanse of issues I have pushed aside in favor of focusing of food, exercise, and weight. That will be hard. But my future self will thank me for doing the work so I can move forward and live a life that will make my daughter proud. A truly healthy life that is based on so much more than calories and weigh-ins.