RPBURRJR

SparkPoints
 

Did ya miss me?

Tuesday, January 03, 2012

Yeah, I took a bit of a vacation. I went through a bit of a rough patch mentally and I realized that I was checking out from a lot of stuff (including being on here) so I got away from it.

Of course, I also got away from pretty much any healthy habit I had worked on building up too and I ballooned up to about 360 lbs. I hope I enjoyed myself.

Like a lot of people on here that have been fighting the fight against being obese for a long time I get discouraged and I get depressed. I think that I let it get to me a little bit too much, though. Usually I can brush it off of my shoulders and carry on, but this time I went into full "F*** it" mode. In fact, I think I went so far as to choose unhealthy things just to show how little I cared (it was doing things like that and being in denial about my condition that led to my getting so sick that I was in a coma for 2 1/2 weeks a couple of years ago). I never went full bore like I did back in 2009 (my last A1C was 6.8. Not great but not the 14+ I had when I went for the long nap in the hospital).

A couple of times I felt like I SHOULD come back to SparkPeople (the least of which was when my friend Dave who I had been selling the site to as such a great tool / resource finally signed up and there I was trying not to make eye contact w/the emails I got every morning), but I felt like I wasn't worthy of being on here because I knew I was going to keep on making the same bullheaded choices. Basically I was ashamed to be on here for as long as I was throwing my temper tantrum / pity party.

Well I am finally done with it. After an absence of a few weeks I got back in the gym yesterday (being sick didn't help matters but I used that as an excuse for a lot longer than my being sick lasted), and after talking w/my doctor last week I am going on a smarter low carb diet for a while to see how I react to it (it went well when I was on it years ago. My numbers got a lot better. I am guardedly optimistic that I can get the same results or even better this time).

Thanks to everyone who thought about me and came by to check on me on my page. I saw that you were here even if I didn't come in myself and knowing that people that I have never even met care enough about me to check on me really helped get me off of the pity train and back onto making healthy and smart choices.

Here's hoping and praying for a Happy and healthy New Year (and beyond) for all of you.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • TATTER3
    Just keep Sparkin'!!! God knows where you are ALL the time:)!!!
    2359 days ago
  • MILLERGIRL719
    Glad you're back. Take good care of yourself!
    2362 days ago
  • GLOMER
    Glad you are back. Seems like we hit periods of time when we just have to fight our way back. So glad you were able to do it.
    2363 days ago
  • LITTLEWIND53
    emoticon Welcome back. Please know that anytime you need to talk, there are many people just a click away and always someone around to listen.

    Here's to a great 2012 and even greater YOU.
    2363 days ago
  • SEWINGMAMACDS
    Welcome back! emoticon
    2363 days ago
  • DOODIE59
    Hi Ron
    I'm glad you're back. You've got a lot to live for so you've just got to try, try and try again. This isn't easy. Try to take comfort in the fact that eating more healthily is its own reward -- even without quick weight loss. Exercise is its own reward. I know you have added difficulty because your feet are problematic ... that's a bummer ... I hope you will find something that works for you.

    It's great news you've talked a friend into joining -- you don't need a lot of friends supporting you but it is great to have one you know and trust watching your back.

    And last but not least, your rich, sharp wit is a gift to others on this site. I really look forward to reading more of your take on the world.

    May 2012 be your best year yet -- and the first of many:)
    Deirdre
    2363 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.
 

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