Monday, January 02, 2012
...but with the start of the New Year, it's time for starting over again. These past few weeks have been a downward spiral for sure. Eating, eating, and more eating. I would just eat mindlessly, all the time. My clothes started getting snug...but I kept eating. My waistline starting disappearing...yet I wouldn't put down that doughnut. I continued buying size 12 in pants...and stacking them upstairs since I no longer could fit in them. To my credit, I didn't buy bigger sizes :/ Yeah. So I stepped on the scale this morning expecting a raise from the 171 I was down to back in November. I expected close to 180 since I knew I was gaining. I expected to be ok with the higher number it would be. What I didn't expect was to see a 17.6 pound weight gain. I weighed in a (very) depressing 188.6. Yeah. How could I let myself get to this point again? How could I let this happen?...again!?
But I'm not going to dwell. I can't. I have to make changes starting today, at this instant. I have to make the commitment to myself again that I can do this. There's no negotiating, no excuses, just doing.
Do I wish I had someone to go to the gym with me in the mornings again? Yes. Everyone will say yes, until the time to get up. Then it's excuses. I've been there...am there??...and I know it's not easy. But I guess I just need to do it.