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new beginnings

Sunday, January 01, 2012

My new yrs resolution has been made...It wasnt to loose weight a first in many yrs. though the one i have made goes hand and in with it. I have decided to do my best to stop worring what everyone thinks about me and how i do everything, alot easier said than done. Looking back over Im not sure how long I have done things everyone else thinks i should do them, in other words making sure everyone else was happy and making things go as smoothly for everyone else and act like im good with it, everything from kids the house my weight everything in my life that i get critized for....unfortuanly the list to long to write..In the end i have lost myself, I feel as if im just the wife or just the mom or whatever..yes i love everyone and i want them to be happy and everyone says the same back "they just want me to be happy" its hard for me to tell anyone in the eye and say hello im not and yes alot of it is to do with my weight if not all of it so i guess the first step in doing this is to start on the weight issues and move on from there. I am always happiest when Im working out but unfortuantly i killed my treadmil yesterday I loved that thing Hubby said he would try to fix it but it was over 10 yrs old the belt was rubbing on the top the overide switch was busted and now the cords are ripped out of it maybe its just time to get a new one..anyway i gotta get to cleaning my house after last nights party my poor vaccum is going to get a workout.
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