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Loving myself enough

Thursday, December 29, 2011

I'm doing well on my food tracking. I'm taking it one day at a time and trying not to let the bigger picture of how much weight I have to lose overwhelm me. That's not always easy. Sometimes, if I think about it too much, the light at the tunnel seems so far away to be almost indistinct. Just the teeniest, tiniest pin prick of light way off in the distance. However, if I really try to focus on today, and only today, then I know with certainty that I can do this. I CAN DO THIS.

I've gotten over being so terribly angry at myself for re-gaining most of the 60 pounds I worked so hard to lose last year. Trust me, that alone is a huge statement, as I am generally pretty darn hard and unforgiving with myself. I'm learning how to take a very good friend's advice though, and am trying to treat myself with the same love, sympathy and understanding I would show any person who is struggling with an addiction. Because no matter how hard that may have been for me to admit. I most definitely have an addiction to food.

My good friend DyfromWyoming's blog yesterday was another huge spur in helping me get back firmly on track. She's shown me that it's ok to talk openly, and without shame, about falling down and getting back up. Because it's the getting back up that's important. She also wrote about how working on loving ourselves enough to think we deserve a better life is important as well. Thank you for that, my friend. I truly needed to hear that.

So, here I am again, as we all are, just trying to make sense of our lives and how to make ourselves comfortable in the skin we've been given. I want you to know how much I appreciate all the friends I have here who have shown me the kind of love, support and understanding that I was unable to show myself. Thanks to you, and SP, I'm ready to start again. Come on, 2012, Bring it on!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You have nothing to be ashamed of, GF. This weight loss business is hard stuff and most of us get off track sooner or later. The winners, like you, just keep getting right back on sooner or later. Welcome back on the wagon. LOL. There is always room for you.
    2357 days ago
    Great blog, Georgia! I also regained a lot of what I lost here but with the help of several SparkFriends I am back on the right track. I try not to kick myself (too much) for basically wasting two years losing and then regaining. As you said, we need to show ourselves as much compassion as we show to our fellow Sparkers and others in our lives.
    2362 days ago
    Good for you! I love that you said you are going to treat yourself kindly as you would any other person who is struggling with addiction. I have also gained about half of the weight I worked so hard to lose and I'm inspired by your attitude.

    We can do this!
    2362 days ago
    Georgia, I am so proud of you. Let go of the guilt & shame. They are negatives. Embrace the positives... honesty & willingness! We're in the same boat. Let's make 2012 OUR YEAR! I'm determined to work on getting myself back in line & getting our TEAM back in line. Together we can do it! Love ya, Dawn emoticon emoticon
    2363 days ago
    I love when you blog, Georgia, it's like benefiting from what I'm feeling myself without having to write it all down! :)

    2012 is going to be our year. I feel it, and I know it is possible. Don't look back. Just look forward. We're all here with you!
    2365 days ago
    We have all lost and gained back countless numbers of pounds over our lifetime and all we can do is get up and try again. Hopefully each time we have learned a little more in the process and will finally be on the road to success.
    2365 days ago
    2365 days ago
    YAY! Georgia's back! I am with you girl!

    2365 days ago
    We can't do any better than just continuing to be kind to ourselves. You can do this. And each year that you find ways to live a more loving, kind, generous life -- with yourself and others -- you've succeeded, so I'd say your year has been a success because you've learned (the hard way!) that not only is being mean to yourself unpleasant, but it DOESN'T work! You can do this! Oh, wait, I said that already. But you can. You can do this!
    2365 days ago
    That's the best part about the people in this group and the Spark in general. There's no shame in starting over. Have a happy new year!
    2365 days ago
    Life derails even the best of intentions, but thankfully we don't have to take this journey alone. We just need to reach out and someone will grab on, offer support or a shoulder and then kick us in the rear and we get back on track.

    Let's turn the page together and march onward down this healthy path.

    2365 days ago
  • 4MRSDAND123
    Here's to a wonderful New Year... emoticon
    2365 days ago
  • _KATHY
    Yes, bring it on. I know we can do this. I'm so happy to read your blogs Georgia. You always speak from your heart. You are so right taking things one day at a time. I'm in the same boat. I know, as you do, that if you do those things you know work, each day, the results will come. Actually, I don't think it's enough to know what to do. I think it's more important to remember why.
    2365 days ago

    Georgia, addiction is a battle, no matter what the addiction is. The problem with food is you need it to survive, so you just can't stop eating. If you smoked, have a drinking problem or drug problem, you can quit/stop, you don't need them to survive. Food on the other hand is a necessity to survival.

    Problem with some food (especially food that is not real food and full of additives and chemicals), the first bite makes our minds want more.
    2365 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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