Wow another year about Gone and Wow the changes in my life!
Sunday, December 25, 2011
As i look over the year of 2011 is see all of the changes that have happened and wonder how I have stayed focused and on task with my goals. Started the year preparing for a divorce and a name change for my first and middle names that I hated, i also was having trouble in getting my weight to drop before i made my decision to get the divorce. as many of you remember my Ex-husband was suffering from several mental health conditions, and it was taking a toll on my health and my self esteem. Now that the divorce is done, and the name change, a lot of things have changed for the better.
i was also engaged to a gentlemen who promised the world to me but never answered questions, and avoided answering anything about the things that were important, and also kept changing the wedding date a total of 4 times. i finally got the courage to tell the man i wasn't marrying him, because the love for him was not there as it should be and I had to say Goodbye.
A friend I have known for over a year, and who proposed to me On Feb 1st of this year and again on the 1st of April. I turned him down both times. However he said he needed me in his corner for a friend as i was a rare friend and one couldn't have to many of them. as the year went along, i was always telling him my concerns about the gentlemen i was to kick to the side. However, even though it broke his heart to see me going through all of this he was a friend that kept telling me to take my time and try to work things out and that I was to have patience that it would. But he never let on that he was still in love with me. He was a great support and always seemed to say the words I needed to keep trying. But when I finally made the decision in September to back off from the gentlemen who promised the world but didn't deliver, he was there to support me and never hinted at what I was to receive on the 4th of November. While we were talking on -line, he asked me a question that kind of caught me in surprise. The Question was : "Will you marry me? please don't give me an answer today, but i will give you till the 20th of November." I said okay would really have to search my heart to see where it was at .
A good friend who had watched me talk to both told me a few weeks before to really look how i reacted to both of these men as i talked to them. it was then that the guy I was engaged to made it clear to me that he wasn't for me, He started calling me a liar, telling me I was cheating on him and all of that other stuff as well. But however I had done none of those things ever to him or anyone else. So wasn't about to start. I realized that the guy who asked me to marry him on the 4th of November was the one who had subtly crept into my heart, and had made his self known to my heart quietly over the year without me really realizing it.
So i took and pondered for about 4 days when I realized i never had to think any longer. As i placed the call that I can only leave a message i told him that we needed to talk seriously when he came on line. and i hung up . you see he is in a war zone and all i can do is leave messages which he gets, but doesn't answer right away. so we met on line about an hour later and he said what is up dear? told him I had an answer to his question he had asked me to ponder several days earlier, and that my answer was yes! he said : yes to what/ i replied to the question you had asked me on the forth to become your wife. the answer is yes i will marry you.
the line went dead for several minutes and I had no clue as to why. so when he came on line again I asked if everything was alright? he said hit was the best day of his life, and sorry he was jumping up and down and jumped on his desk and danced yelling and shouting. however he said he had scared his aides thinking he had been shot as gunfire had erupted outside of his military camp area. He said they thought he had been shot. lol he laughed no my best friend finally agreed to marry me. Now he is known as the man who dances on desks. lol
This man is the best thing that has come into my life since my grandfather in my youth. he keeps me smiling, knowing i am loved, and accepts me for who i am and not what he would love me to be. that is so refreshing .
Now i have a fiancé and a 9 year old son coming into my life and my life is changing for the better. Am looking forward to these changes as these feel so right, in every way. So am busy trying to find a house, and the furniture for it, and everything else. Also planning a wedding for about late February or early March.
however over the roller coaster of the year with all of the stress and everything i had the best year as far as staying on with my weight loss goals, and my exercise programs as well. I have lost over 70 pounds this year!!! and still have a few days left in the year. What a good year in spite of all the stress and aggravation. I'm so proud of my self as well and am treating my self to a wedding gown I would never thought of having ever in my life in the last 30 years. I'm having a Victorian wedding gown and the whole accessories as well. Wow what an amazing thing to have accomplished. Never dreamt that I could do this and be able to wear the dress of my dreams. This is a big thing for me, and am so proud of myself. But am glad when my fiancé arrives home I will be smaller and oh so much happier then I could have thought.
So knowing I have done this I give each of you a challenge for the new year. Focus on a goal big or small, and reach for it with all you have. As you can do this, and I have done this and will continue to do so in the weeks and months ahead. What I forgot to say after the wedding, my fiancé has to go back to active duty, for several more months, before he will retire from the army. I plan to be a smaller person when he gets home this time next year and can take life easy with me for the rest of his life. I hope to be about another 50 pounds lighter in a year. that is my goal. and that will bring me closer to the goal of getting my knees and my ankle done soon. That is the goal for me for 2012. Join me in the challenge to make you a better and healthier person as that is the goal for all of us.
I pray that all of you have a great Christmas and a whole better New year in 2012. please continue to drink the ice water it does help and I know i have done it for 8 years now, and it helps big time.
Keep sparking, and working on the goals as they are be the best for you.
Merry Christmas all.