Tuesday, December 20, 2011
I think I'm going to have to try something different. I think my workouts are pretty good right now. My eating lately has been pretty clean for the most part. I think where the problem lies is how many calories I'm eating in a day.
I think I might be eating too many, whether it be on a day I workout or not. So I'm going to try and cut back on calories again to see what that does. I'm going to stick around 1,300-1,400 calories every day, and maybe bump it up to 1,500 on my heavy cardio days, like when I run.
I've been looking at 155 on the scale for far too long now. Yea I know, I might still be losing inches, but the scale is a way I can measure my progress more often. I can't really take my measurements every few days and expect to see much of a difference. I really hope I have lost some inches somewhere... January 1st is coming up fast!
I still have lots of mental work to do too. The "fat girl" is still in my head. I do believe I look better than I did before, and I do feel better about myself... but my self esteem still isn't where it should be for how far I've come. I still think of myself as being too fat in places and not pretty enough. I just can't figure out how to work through these thoughts and kill the fat girl for good. And I don't have the money for a therapist, so that's out of the question! Anyway, I lost weight without a personal trainer, health coach, or a gym (in the beginning), it was all me! I lost all that weight on my own, I didn't need anybody else. I'm sure I can figure out how to drive the "fat girl" away from me for good on my own. It's just so hard when I see myself in the mirror and I don't find myself attractive.
I just needed to get some of these thoughts out and throw out a little update.