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The most beautiful body

Saturday, December 17, 2011

I went to the office Xmas party tonight. Ate a little too much… I looked at all the ladies' pretty dresses and their sparkly jewellery, wishing I'd had time to buy a new outfit. I only have one frock, and it's a summer dress that's now much too big for me.

What struck me is that the most beautiful women were not the most elegantly adorned. The real beauty was in the way they wore their bodies; it was in the ease and comfort with which they carried themselves. True beauty lies in grace and strength. It doesn't have anything to do with facial symmetry or shiny hair or long lashes.

When I look out the window of my apartment, I can see people walking along a nice road that leads to the ocean. Many people walk this route, and the way they walk tells the story of their physicality. It's so easy to see whether someone walks regularly, and whether they enjoy it.

My uncle said something similar about cyclists. He sees them riding and can tell whether they're on their bikes every day, whether they love it, or whether biking is a chore that they are only doing because they missed the bus.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that everything we do etches itself into our bodies. We wear what we do. Our bodies show our actions.

I have eaten my pain, loneliness, boredom, anger and fear for years, and I wear that because I carry an extra 50 pounds.

I used to carry an extra 135 pounds. That's because I also used to escape my pain by holing up and reading a lot, but over the years I began to be more active. Slowly, steadily, I increased my physical activity. I took dance classes, swam, hiked. Now I cycle everywhere and do taiko drumming and go to the gym to do strength training. My body shows what I've done. My muscles, my flexibility are my beauty.

Sometimes I still eat for comfort and reward. This last couple of weeks have been rough.

Tonight at that party I was jealous of some of the women, of how lithe and strong and lovely they looked. Really, though, I'd rather be jealous of that than of their hair or bone structure or clothes!

So I have to work to get a slimmer body. Maybe they had to work for it, or maybe it just came naturally and easily to them. There are some things that come naturally and easily to me that other people would really love to have. I have my gifts, and I have my challenges. My challenge now is to learn healthy ways to cope with stressful emotions. I can do it. I am doing it.

We wear our actions. What we do shows on our bodies. My struggle, my heart's work, will show too.
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  • no profile photo CD7651842
    WOW! The line "The real beauty was in the way they wore their bodies" really struck something in me. That was awesome and really made me think.
    3137 days ago
    You are doing it!
    3155 days ago
    This is a wonderful blog. So well put. So profound. How wonderful that you are such a beautiful lady. In every way. You are conquering your fears and addressing your issues...you have found that your body can do amazing things and keep up with your amazing brain. I think that it is natural to feel a little envy for others but it is excellent that you realize that you too posses gifts that are uniquely your own. You have expressed this all so well here. You are on a beautiful journey Beautiful Lady!
    3156 days ago
  • no profile photo CD10677745
    I think healthy is the sexiest of all. A man that keeps himself healthy by eating correctly and exercise and not too overweight shows in his skin, walk and even personality. Kindness is also very attractive. BUT the most attractive are people who are comfortable in their own skin. Truly comfortable, not a pretend comfort. Good blog.
    3156 days ago
    Great blog! I was at a divorce workshop recently (as a participant, not a "customer") and one of the other participants told me that he knew I wasn't looking for divorce services just by the way I carry myself. It's the body, not what's on it. At 60, keeping fit and active does way more to sustain "youthfulness" than any amount of makeup, hair colour (don't dye) or wardrobe choices (do love my black stiletto over the knee boots and leather pencil skirt, however!)

    You are doing terrific with your weight loss and I'm betting that's translating itself into a more confident and graceful posture and movement!!
    3156 days ago
    "My muscles, my flexibility are my beauty. " Yes, and so is your attitude and intelligence. The way we project ourselves as well as the way we carry ourselves is how we shine. The physical beauty that is promoted through media is not only shallow, it is not real beauty. It is a fleeting image.

    Itzhak Perman, for example, does not fit the profile of beauty promoted by the media. But to see him on stage, playing his violin, he shines with such beauty I fall in love with him each time I see him. Age, physical structure, clothes, make-up, glamour - all inconsequential. The source of beauty is what we do and how we do it.

    So keep being you, be proud of yourself and your accomplishments, be confident. You will exude beauty. Keep working out and eating right, and your body will also reflect you efforts. Your true beauty is you!
    3157 days ago
    You do taiko drumming? How cool!

    And I believe most of our beauty comes from our confidence and how self-assured we are.
    3157 days ago
  • CANNIE50
    Beautiful, simply beautiful.
    3157 days ago
    You never cease to amaze me. Great insights well *penned!*

    Here's a young woman who learned to cope with stressful emotions and live beyond physical limits. I love tuning in to strong women like her...and you.


    Blessed be,
    3157 days ago
    You have accomplished so much!! I'm sure you were one of the people that people noticed because you are wearing the power of achievement!!
    3157 days ago
    Very nice blog! Thank you for this!!
    Congrats on the weight loss so far!
    3157 days ago
    Enjoy the strength and grace of your body as you move that body and feed that body good food to help that body!
    3157 days ago
    Remember within every body comes it's own story. You may not know that the slim woman you are admiring has lost weight because her husband is having an affair and thinks she is 'unaware' of it. There are two sides to each coin. You must enjoy yourself along your journey before you find life passing you by. Good luck!
    3158 days ago
    This was a fascinating blog and food for thought. I feel,however,what you said about the true beauty coming from stength and grace and carriage is less to do with muscles and flexibility and far far more to do with confidence in themselves and self-esteem. Some of the most beautiful women I have seen or stunned by have been very large women that,however,carried themselves with such assurance and charisma that they've turned heads (in a good way) when they've walked in a room. Indeed,if I look back it is never a skinny women that I've ever been aware of having that special aura that attracts people ( but then that would be another subject as to why and maybe cultural as in Spain curves are definately considered far more attractive and having some meat on you...the young teenagers don't try to hide their rolls under layers of clothes like we'd've done in Britain...they flaunt what they've got and are more gorgeous for it).

    I think beauty comes down to believing in your own beauty so much that others are forced to see it too.Self-confidence is a very attractive thing and attracts men and women alike like moths to a lightbulb. I've known the least talented dancers and singers walk out with the job because they had such utter belief in themselves and were blind to their own shortcomings,and the really talented ones,self-aware and less confident,walk out not amazed that they didn't get it but sufficiently aware of their own talent to be amazes that their "average" peers did. Their's a big lesson in there....

    You are doing an amazing job and have come so far.I'm cincerned though that you think that happiness and beauty will come when you have a slimmer body. You will be who you are but in a slimmer body. Instead I really feel that you should be giving yourself hugs and pats on the back for more important qualities that you have that make you beautiful....your determination to succeed, your will power,the strength of forgiveness when you fall and the strength to pick yourself up and continue on,your courage to try new things...I could go on and on,but in a nutshell YOUR beauty lies in so so much more than just your muscles and flexibiity.

    You may also be surprised to know that some of those women may well be jealous of you.

    My Mum said to me that EVERYONE has their insecurities and anyone that tells you that they're happy with their body is a liar,but only YOU can allow them to glimpse the inner goddess.Walk everywhere as if you are a goddess and others will begin to believe it too.

    The most important part is believing it yourself.

    I am so so so sorry for my musings and ramblings !! I guess you caught me at a philosophical time,even if it IS only 7,45 am!! You really are doing such an incredible job and are inspirational.It just saddens me that you didn't realize that the most beautiful woman in that room was YOU. emoticon emoticon
    3158 days ago
    Congratulations on your weight loss so far!
    3158 days ago
    What a lovely observations.
    I also need to learn healthy ways to cope with stressful emotions.
    3158 days ago
    Very insightful.
    I have no doubt that your body will show your hard work...and I'm sure it already is showing it.
    3158 days ago
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