Starting Over

I just typed up this huge blog entry and then there was an error when I went to submit it :(

Anyway I'll try to sum up what I said lol.

I haven't been on here in forever. Among many other excuses life got in the way. I decided to go back to school and get another degree and change my career. I haven't found the time to go to the gym and haven't honestly tried to find the time. I would just accept the excuse that I have school work or this or that to do and I don't have time. So now I've gained the weight i've lost back again and I have to start over...

I've gotten not so great news that really jump started my work out/eating healthier change.

I have to remember why I want to change so I'll list them :)

1. Become Healthy - I don't want to end up like my family and have all these health problems that stem from being overweight.

2. Family - I want to have a family one day and not only do I want to be able to do things with them, I need to actually become pregnant and due to a condition I have, its very difficult if not impossible to become pregnant while I'm overweighta and pretty much the only cure is lose weight.

3. Myself - I want to feel good about ME. I want to buy a pair of jeans that fit. I want to go shopping anywhere and buy something that is cute and not granny plus size like. I want to not feel ashamed. I don't want to feel like everyone is staring and thinking how huge she is.

I'm not only being selfish for myself by not doing this, but for my future family. I'm not going to be able to bring a beautiful baby into this world that I want so dearly. My biggest fear is not being able to become pregnant. I have to do this.

I have to keep the negative thoughts out. I keep thinking that, well if I kept to it I'd have lost X amount of weight... I gotta just keep chuggin and just doing.

So here it goes, I'm starting over...