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SparkPoints final exam...and the Big Blue H...

Friday, December 09, 2011 final exam...and the Big Blue H...

This is about the good , the bad, and the ugly...OR

it is the good news, the great news, and the sad news...

The good news is(this deals with the BAD too) half-BIL Stupid Steve, lovingly referred to as in JAIL...

Yippee-kay-yeah for the local law enforcement! (Round of applause here.)

Don't know or care how/why he got picked up. I am relieved when I know WHERE he is. He is in for apparently 30 days...won't be his first Christmas in jail...sadly, probably not the last either.

DH was scheduled to be released from the hospital on Wednesday, provided that I passed my care-giving class. And pass the home assessment that I wasn't aware of until Tuesday evening. Remember, my house became the Wreck of the Hesperus during my DH's hospital stay.

I did not live like that when I was single. However, I have noticed, that upon marriage, and increasingly, with each additional child...well, simply standards of what is clean, have not only slipped, but plummeted! This is the UGLY part of this...

So we cut our Tuesday evening visit short, so we could straighten up the Wreck. My kids were flying around like little worker bees.

Wednesday morning I re-arranged the living room furniture to make room for the hospital bed, power wheel chair, bath bench, etc.

I like the bed(functionally), though wish it came with a more high end designer look. Don't they realize that some people have to put these in the living room? I think I will try to decorate it. I am giving up the full size Christmas tree for the ugly bed. I have the Charlie Brown Tree on the coffee table. *sigh*

After I took delivery of the designer bed, I went to the hospital to take my class. The PT showed me what DH can and can't do. It was simple really. I just had to show the PT that I could transfer DH from the wheelchair, to the walker, to the car. Then we went home for the final exam...I had to show the PT that I could get DH from the car, up the steps, and into the house. Then she had to check out his living space--bed, bathroom, kitchen. She loved the designer bed...asked where she could get one like it. LOL After about 20 minutes, she determined that I, and our house, passed the final exam. This is the GREAT news...we went back to the hospital, where he was officially discharged.

The SAD part of this deals with my MIL...she finally went to see DH at the hospital the day before he was discharged. Her excuse for not going to see him...are you ready for this...she didn't know where the hospital was. I didn't say a word, though I am certain she could tell by the look on my face, I thought that was a lame excuse. So she added, that she didn't have internet to look it up. Still lame, in my opinion. She could have used her other son's internet--he is 40 and lives in her basement, urinates in milk jugs because he is too lazy to go upstairs to the bathroom. Nothing wrong with that, I am just saying. She could have went to the library. She could have went to a store and just looked at a map. She could have called the hospital or ME. She lives 11 miles from from the hospital. She is 1/4 mile from a major state route. Literally, she made one left and one right turn to get there. She was closer than I was. She could have driven to the state route and followed the BIG BLUE H signs. You don't even have to speak English in this country to locate a hospital! Truth be told, she was probably visiting SS in JAIL.

All I can say about her is...she is consistent...she never fails to disappoint.

I am off to go do some decorating!

Spark on!

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  • RINA2002
    Wow, you are a fighter. I admire your persistence to take charge of your life and enjoy it despite the challenges.
    2364 days ago
    WOOHOO for SS being in jail AND for DH being home!!! I'm sure being around you and the kids more will help him heal faster. He must be so relieved to be home!

    My future MIL is the exact same way. Lots to look forward to, huh? You have my sympathy.

    2367 days ago
    2370 days ago
    2373 days ago
    I hope that with all these, you find time to enjoy the beauty of the holiday season. Pray for your MIL and then forget her for a while.
    I wish you and your family a Merry X-mas. emoticon emoticon
    2376 days ago
    Hey, lady! I'm not surprised at all that you passed your caregiver test with flying colors. You are Wonder Woman!

    I know people are going to call me out for being a cold-hearted witch, but re: SS = BOOYAH!!! Forgive me a moment of Schadenfreude.

    Your MIL... *sigh* I feel bad for you, especially when you have to be the one to deal with her, and knowing that she's your husband's MOTHER, and knowing how that kind of behavior must make him feel. Maybe she pays more attention to her other offspring because they need to be shepherded, whereas your husband is being taken good care of and has a good life, and doesn't really need to be mothered. Some moms have this bizarre desire to keep on being mommy to their children to the point of wishing (if not outright ENABLING) their children to be functionally useless, and punishing their children who have become functioning adults by ignoring them in times of need, among other things. In any case, it's pathetic, but you seem to have a grip on how to handler her, so kudos to you.

    Don't forget to take some time for yourself, and don't let anyone make you feel like you're being selfish if you are. If they do, you can borrow my 25 pound steel pipe straightening mandrel to produce a counter-argument, as it were.

    Regarding the designer bed, I have three words for you: TINSEL and ROPE LIGHTING!!!! Or the kind of lights that you can program to blink along with the music. There must be a way to Martha Stewart that thing up!

    Wishing you and your hubby and kiddos a merry (and drama-free) Christmas!

    2376 days ago
    "he is 40 and lives in her basement, urinates in milk jugs because he is too lazy to go upstairs to the bathroom. Nothing wrong with that, I am just saying."


    , and I thought my inlaws were bad. Your MIL, wow, would I ever do without that relationship. Funny how when repeatedly dissapointed, we just learn to accept it. Really shouldn't be that way, but such is life.

    Glad your hubby will be home ove rhte holidays though, and just so ya know, there is nothing wrong with a Charlie Brown Tree!

    All the best!

    2376 days ago
    Your mother-in-law is a piece of work... I'm sure if she wanted to see her son she could have just called you and asked you to drive her there. I'm sure you're not such a horrible daughter-in-law that you would deny her a ride the hospital to see her injured son... some people never cease to amaze me.

    I'm glad you passed the exams and that DH gets to come home. congratulations and I hope he has a speedy recovery.
    2376 days ago
    Wow, sweetie, you are really dealing with "it." Glad DH got to come home. What a load you are carrying! Find some time to take care of you, okay? Be really careful helping DH around. So many people really hurt their backs in doing that kind of work...just be really smart about it. About MIL...that's so sad. Some day, she will look back and be filled with remorse...and it will be too late...regret is no fun. Hopefully, she'll figure it all out sooner rather than later. Keep up the good work! Thanks for the encouragement! Spark on! emoticon
    2377 days ago
    Blessings that your DH is home and what a lucky man to have his very own designer bed.

    Oh my goodness on the IN-LAWS. Bottom line on the MIL, she just did not want to go. End of story. He and you were probably better off she did not go there much.

    Well clearly you got the best of the bunch. emoticon
    2378 days ago
    Soooo happy to hear DH is home and recovering! Now if there were only a cure for what ails SS and the mil (sigh)...
    2380 days ago
    Yay! Glad he's home. String lights on the bed and hang a stocking on it. Might as well... Go to the nearest gas station and buy a local Mal for MIL for Christmas. Good grief. Well, if you ever decide to write a book or screenplay, at least they're giving you free material.
    2380 days ago
    I am glad that your husband is home. emoticon
    Remember to take care of yourself too. Merry Christmas
    2382 days ago
    I love how through this you and your family have pulled together. I'm sure you've all made sacrifices, but it is good to read about the kids pitching in to get dad home :) I'm sure it's difficult celebrating the holidays without the tree and everything, but I'm sure having your husband there will make this holiday unique and special.
    And MIL - well, my inlaws rarely fail to disappoint also. I've come to terms with the fact that they have their own issues and that they are so absorbed in them that they forget the important things. I maintain just enough contact that we don't lose them completely (I fear my husband would regret it if it did happen like that). The joys of lowered expectations :) We should exchange stories some day :)
    2384 days ago
    So glad he's home and things are slowly getting back to normal!
    It sounds like the DH's family has some issues, and I'm glad to see that you don't get sucked into the utter stupidity and nonsense.
    However, you're too kind when you say the BIL "urinates in milk jugs because he is too lazy to go upstairs to the bathroom. Nothing wrong with that, I am just saying." There's IS something wrong with a 40yo man peeing in a bottle because he's too LAZY to go the the bathroom!! If he was homeless, had no access to a bathroom, etc., then he'd have an excuse but pure LAZINESS at 40?!?!?! WTF?!?! And I don't know how you deal with the MIL... I'd have a really hard time biting my tongue.

    All in all though, it sounds like you've perfected dealing with all of them and I'm glad to hear things are improving. Keep up the positive attitude and stay strong!
    2384 days ago
  • LINDAJ0621
    Happy to hear your DH is at home to recover. Remember to make time for YOU!
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    2384 days ago
    Wow, what a mixed bag! You seem to be taking everything in stride, with your sense of humor intact! I'm glad your DH is coming home!
    2385 days ago
    Best wishes to you and your family. So glad that your DH is home. I sure know about that caretaker part and it is a stress a minute. Thanks so much for keeping your sense of humor.
    2385 days ago
    I am glad to hear about SS and DH!

    I hope DH heals quickly!
    2385 days ago
    I am so glad to hear that DH is coming home! That is good news.

    As for the other news... well, families sure can work that last nerve! I wish I could say I'm surprised by some of the behavior you mentioned; but sadly it is too familiar.

    I hope you, DH and your kids have a wonderful holiday season all under one roof! And congrats on getting them to help you clean up. I'm still working on that one!
    2385 days ago
    I'm glad to hear that DH is home and healing. Wishing SS a memorable holiday behind bars. Good luck with your continued caregiver duties. I know this must be a very stressful time.
    2386 days ago
    Glad DH is home and since MIL can't find the hospital maybe she'll forget how to get to your house too. I feel sorry for your husband. I wonder what it would feel like to have such an uncaring mother. Sounds like you do all you can and so take comfort in that. We don't get to choose family and we have a doozy in our family too.
    2386 days ago
    I'm sorry about your in-laws.

    I'm glad that your husband is home. That is the most important thing!! You must be so happy. emoticon

    And the hospital beds? I know. They aren't glamorous. I work for a medical supply company and they are pretty hideous.
    2387 days ago
    Try not to buy into the crap with your in-laws too much. It must be stressful on your husband to be one of them & have you at odds with them, even if he agrees that they are nuts. I do however, find it hilarious. I wish Stupid Steve an even longer "time-out." Thank goodness DH is on the mend!
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    2387 days ago
  • LOSER05
    I think every family has their crazies. I agree with LOPEYP you have the BEST one. emoticon
    2387 days ago
  • CHEEKY1000
    I know the important thing is that your hubby is home, and I'm so glad!

    However, what I CANNOT get out of my head (and I really wish I could) is the 40 year old living in the basement and peeing in jugs because he's too lazy to go upstairs. I take it he plans on being single until...FOREVER? lol

    You crack me up. Thank you for sharing, and again, I happy that you passed your test and your DH is home.
    2387 days ago
  • MISSY455
    So glad to hear you passed your caregiver class! There was no doubt in my mind. So happy your DH is home.

    Keep your chin up girl, and take sometime for you everyday.
    2387 days ago
    emoticon hope you're getting a few minutes to yourself here and there. Take care.
    2387 days ago
    So glad DH is home. Happy news until the end. As far as the MIL goes it is what is. Just focus on the good. Hey if she couldn't find the hospital what is the likelihood she will forget where you live? One can only hope right. emoticon
    2388 days ago
    In all fairness it takes time to catch all them toads
    and spiders for her potions so dont be too hard on MIL and Broomsticks are not as cheap as they used to be due to the economic fiscal climate at present, as for the house well put the kids in an orphanage you,ll be amazed at the results of how clean your home becomes[in just hours]. Great news about Dopey lets hope they lose the Key to his apartment, i say apartment because if its anything like our jails it is a bloody apartment!

    Hope DH is feeling somewhat better and you Take Care
    emoticon kisses and more emoticon
    YOUR emoticon
    Russ x
    2388 days ago
    I'm glad DH is home. Crazy MIL's are just that, crazy and full of excuses. SS in jail.... a big blessing for the whole family. Now, how to keep all the crazies out of your house. Through all of this, don't forget to take care of YOU, even before DH. He can wait a few minutes for whatever it is he needs (except the bed pan!!)

    2388 days ago
    Glad to hear DH is home - while it will be more work for you physically, it will be less stressful with him home again.

    2388 days ago
    Good to hear he's doing well enough so quickly that he's coming home. Also good to hear SS is out of the picture for a while, no matter how or why it happened.


    And I so pictured you running Xmas lights all around the designer bed, except that knowing such beds I can't imagine that being safe or convenient.
    2388 days ago
  • DAS92687
    Perhaps if you and MIL exchange Christmas gifts, you will consider getting her a road atlas. (At least I probably would, and would do it without discussing it with DH as he would just say I was being a B ;-)

    It has been about 8 years now, but I do remember when we had one of those beds AND (Get ready to be jealous!!) a porta-john in the livingroom in order to bring my grandfather here. I did not have the foresight to consider decorating them. But, in my defense, it wasn't Christmas, either. But I'll look forward to seeing how gorgeous yours looks.

    Seriously ... glad you Hubby is home!
    emoticon on being a super caregiver !!
    2388 days ago
    Safe to say you got the best one out of the bunch. Hope your husband has a speedy recovery!
    2388 days ago
    I know Your situtation is Not funny BUT , the way You write about it made me Smile in a few places!
    You are such a Positive role moldel for Everyone in Your Life!
    Me included.
    Woo Hoo!
    Go Trish!
    2388 days ago
    Your husband is so blessed to have you in his life. I'm sure you don't want to even imagine what it would be like if it was left up to your mil to care for him. This will definitely be a holiday you never forget. In years to come, I hope you will find things to look back on and laugh at. I am so glad your family will be together for Christmas. I think I would find a way to hang lights on the bed, or garland, or something, just for fun. I will continue to keep you in my prayers!
    2388 days ago
    Hugs to you. I know you will be making lemonade out of those lemons...and can just picture the designer bed after you have holiday-ized it, LOL!
    2388 days ago
    Glad to hear your husband is home now.
    2388 days ago
    So glad your husband is coming home! (even gladder that your MIL doesn't live in your house!) Congrats on passing the last minute home inspection!
    2388 days ago
    Awesome on the hubby coming home. Glad you passed the test. (We all knew you would!) Love the designer bed idea. Remember to keep taking care of you during time.
    2388 days ago
    This is the 1st blog of yours I have read. You really need to have a sense of humor to get through your life and I'm glad God has blessed you with one. Sorry MIL is such a pill. I've always told my kids you can't pick your relatives. Hope dh recovers quickly having family surrounding him and encouraging him. Love can do amazing things. Take time for yourself so you don't get burned out. It's easy to put yourself last when you are the primary caregiver. Even if you have to soak in the tub for awhile for a mini vacation.
    2388 days ago
    Unbelievable. I am glad that things are looking up for your family, though!
    2388 days ago
    Reading this blog made me sad for your hubby and his relationship with his Mom. Hard stuff there - he's lucky you are so *flexible* lol (nicest word I could come up with for the situation lol)

    Big Congrats on him coming home. You will be busy and there will be some adjustments for sure - but its good to have him home. Be on the lookout for wandering MIL's who may try to sabotage the whole situation.

    Congrats also on the SS dorkasaurus being put back in the cage he belongs in. That will definitely help you with your stress levels this holiday.

    Best present of all for the holidays - hubby is recovering and coming home!!

    Don't forget to take care of YOU during all of this!


    *plan to work and work your plan*

    edited for this: PS - maybe for Christmas Santa can bring the MIL a garmin? I'm just sayin'... LOL
    2388 days ago

    Comment edited on: 12/9/2011 11:03:21 AM
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