A different take on gift-giving...

Tuesday, December 06, 2011

One of the blogs I read today in the DailySpark was by Jen Mueller, and she discussed how she wants to live a simple, slower-paced life but isn't quite sure how to make it happen. At one point in her blog she wrote about how part of living a simple life is not having so much "stuff," and she mentioned that the holiday season stresses her out a little because people seem to focus so much on the materialistic part of the season, and this attitude goes against the values she is trying to teach her children.

I feel exactly the same way that Jen does. I wish that society would do away with buying gifts for people over the holidays and instead emphasize the importance of spending quality time with loved ones. Jen's blog reminded me of a wonderful article I received over the Internet a long time ago, and I want to share it here. I wish I knew the name of whoever wrote this touching piece, but no name was included with it when it was sent to me. If anyone happens to know who wrote it, please let me know.


I've always rather liked how hobbits celebrated birthdays in Tolkien's sagas; they throw their own birthday parties and give lots of things away. This concept got me thinking about presents in general, and how people often agonize unnecessarily about giving the right things: Will the recipient like it? Is it expensive enough or showy enough? Does it make me look like I care, or does it make it look like I didn't give it enough thought?

I want to remind you that you have a closet full of gifts, already wrapped and ready to go. They are never untimely, out of season, too big, or too small. They are specific gifts that only you can give. And they are gifts to you, as well as to those to whom they are given, because in giving you cannot help but touch your own life with grace. These are what are known as "spiritual gifts." Here are some examples:


Be it visually, vocally, or by example, your talent is helping others reach a new level of learning about themselves, the world around them, or the world within. What do you have to teach that is special? Can you give someone a new tool or trade, or spark an interest, by sharing your knowledge? Remember the example of Annie Sullivan and Helen Keller: Annie's dedication to teaching gave Helen the world after so many years in darkness. You, too, may have wonders to teach. Go find out!


You may have a knack for calling forth the best from others, helping them to be more aware of their own truths and paths, to bolster them up when they are discouraged or downhearted, to challenge them to see and set their life's goals. Try writing letters to those who need encouragement; having concrete words to hold onto in the dark times can be miraculous. Reach out to your elders, to the home-bound, to those challenged in some way (physically, mentally, or emotionally), and to young ones who need to know that they matter in the world. Help people go beyond where they think they can go. Encouragement builds wings!


It's the number one complaint of most people these days...not enough time. If you have a little extra--or can make some--offer it. Watch a pet so that someone can go away for the weekend. Babysit. Cook an extra casserole and give it to a working mom. Do someone's grocery shopping for them. Even giving someone an extra hour or two can feel like a million dollars when it gives them time to breathe, to relax, and to get their feet under them again.


This is the gift of those who emanate kindness and compassion, especially to people the world may deem least deserving of it. This is forgiveness flowing throughout life; the giving of comfort to those who grieve or are in crisis; being the peacemaker to help bridge two discordant sides. This gift can flower in many directions, from helping individuals to organizing programs of social needs. The world in which we find ourselves can seem so harsh and unforgiving; using this gift is vital to stem the tide and return gentleness and understanding back into our lives.


Do you find yourself willing to offer assistance or relief from distress wherever it's needed? Then this is your gift. All of us can remember being immersed in an impossible situation, ready to give up, but then one person stepped in quietly and unobtrusively, bringing order out of chaos. If this is your ability, then you're onto something precious. Use it to help organize volunteers, assistance projects, fund-raising efforts, and social outreach programs. On an individual level, weed a garden for someone whose arthritis no longer allows such work . . . clean out a garage and organize a tag sale for someone who is moving . . . paint someone's living room if they can't use a ladder . . . offer to carpool the local kids even if it's not "your turn." Be that person who pitches in to do whatever needs to be done--no matter how detailed or tedious.


You'll know this is your special gift when you are willing to take responsibility for managing an organization or program or for being in charge of people or things. It involves being able to put things together, tie up loose ends, and get things done. If you have special talents at financing, planning, organizing, problem solving, or delegating responsibilities, offer them to those programs and events that are important to you. Your ability may take a marginal situation and make it a success. A close relative of this gift is . . .


You may be someone who is known for setting a pattern for others, either by direction, instruction, guidance, encouragement or example. If so, your gift is that of inspiring others to reach for what matters. Organizing a group, a fund drive, an event, or a study group can all be examples of the gift of leadership. Your gift may bring into fruition something that many people have searched for, but have not been able to create themselves.


This is your gift if you resonate with ensuring the comfort of others, or if you have a knack for making people feel at ease or especially welcome. Sometimes those we think are aloof or unfriendly are hungry for a welcome but don't know how to ask. Open your door and your heart to these people. Invite someone out to lunch, for a walk in the park, or to a movie. Or bring together friends or like-minded discoverers in your area on a regular basis. Whether your hospitality takes the form of a welcoming home-space or the ability to include people wherever you go, it's a gift to be cherished beyond measure.

I hope you've noticed that these gifts don't require a special occasion nor does it even require a close relationship with the person to whom you're giving them. But when you're debating whether to buy someone their 5th sweater or 12th pair of earrings . . . when you are standing lost in the middle of a department store because nothing feels right . . . when you look at the calendar and realize someone's special day is fast approaching . . . go to your inner closet and check out those gifts. See if there isn't one that will be just right for your friend. You are guaranteed that no matter what you choose to give, your friend won't have "one just like it" and will cherish it because it's from your heart.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    emoticon I so agree with you!My grandkids cant tell me a week later what I bought for them as a Christmas gift!Last year,I went to the Goodwill and bought second hand board games and they acted like they hit the motherlode!My teen granddaughter got costume jewelry and a fur vest she wanted from the mall for $10 at Goodwill..A leather coat for my oldest dd and grandson,a plaid hoodie a wallet and boots for my 21 yo dd and lots of earrings for my then 16 yo dd,my DH got some craftsman tools for $25 and a new pair of coveralls for$10..The money helps to train people skills and my family was all thrilled.Nobody gets crappy perfume or toys plus I make homemade stocking stuffers like popcorn balls,fudge,rice crispie treats...Can you believe that they asked me to do it again this year and im already started on my LIST?Hooray for your wonderful blog it truly makes a person think!!PS:Plus Im helping by giving back to the community!
    2361 days ago

    Comment edited on: 12/6/2011 1:24:10 PM
    Very nice thank you! Hope you and your family have a wonderful holiday season!
    2361 days ago
  • ALICIA214

    A great piece and a wonderful way to bring Christ into Christmas where He belongs.

    Thank you for sharing.
    2361 days ago
    Thanks very much for sharing these ideas.
    2361 days ago
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