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I need to take a CLASS on how to CARE??? Excuse me?

Sunday, December 04, 2011

First of all, I want to thank all my Spark buds for all the thoughts and prayers for my DH. It is a good way...I feel loved. I wish I had time to respond to everyone individually. I am way behind in my Spark online activities...especially reading blogs, responding to Sparkmail, and sending goodies. Please know I am not ignoring you. I read a lot of friend's blogs and try to comment on most. Even if it is just a couple of words or an emotioncon. I do that just so you know that I CARE. I really do. I try to be a positive force example for my children. I hate the word "can't". It is like fingernails on a chalkboard to me. So I don't want to say I "can't" get caught up on my Spark stuff.

This whole ordeal with DH is really cramping my Spark time. So please be patient with me. I am not deleting any mail. I promise, I WILL read everything. I just may not have the time to respond to everything. Especially since I will be using my phone more for reading blogs and mail, etc. It is more difficult for me to see on my phone. I need new glasses. Man, it suc>s to get old. Well, it beats the alternative, I guess. My birthday is in about 2 weeks...can you tell? emoticon

Update on DH...
He was moved to the rehab floor. He is in PT and OT virtually all day. He is progressing very well. He is still getting great drugs for the pain...he says it reminds him of his 20's. Whoa! I think the drugs were a lot safer then. emoticon

My MIL STILL has not been to see him. He has been there 8 days. She lives closer to the hospital than I do. Don't know or care what her excuse is, really.

While I am at work, DH emails me through out the day. Friday, he sent me an email asking if I could take a class for care-giving on next Wednesday. My first thought was...WTH...I need to take a class on how to CARE? I was a little insulted. I spend most of my time at the hospital. I get my children on the bus, go to the hospital, then to work, get my children off the bus, and back to the hospital, The only thing I do at home is sleep and shower. And my house looks like The Wreck of the Hesperus. I don't know how it got this way...all we do is sleep here. emoticon

So he explains to me, that the class is to show me HOW to care for him PHYSICALLY. OH OK. I am glad we got that straight.

So please know that, even though it may seem that I am absent, yes, I truly CARE about YOU too!

Spark on!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    If we all had to do the same amount of stuff in a day that you do, we'd be falling behind too. I can't speak for anyone else, but I do know you care, and I care about you too, and you've been a real inspiration to me, so don't worry. Hope things are getting better!
    2333 days ago
    Lordy, nobody's expecting you to keep up with SparkMail stuff right now! Glad you found a class on caring, one way or another. Lol Fight on, brave warrior!
    2346 days ago
    OMG...i share that gene. i have a limited circle of caring. inside the cirle, i care. outside the circle is clutter. some see it as insensitive...pashhaaa....i see it as refreshing
    2347 days ago
    2350 days ago
    Glad to hear things are progressing and that your keeping your spirits up and your focus in the right direction!
    2350 days ago
    emoticon Hope your hubby is on the mend and back to 100% soon. Take care of yourself, gf~ *hugs* BB~
    2355 days ago

    Comment edited on: 12/8/2011 9:13:08 PM
    You are an inspiration. Your plate is beyond overflowing and yet you can joke, still eat healthy and get everything accomplished without losing your mind. And I sit here wallowing in my own self-pity stuffing my face with cake..... for no apparent reason. Goes to show who is the victor in this game!! You do inspire me. You make me want to do (much) better. I pray for strength for you in all you are about to undertake. I pray that hubby is mended and back on his feet with no complications!! "This too shall pass!"
    2356 days ago
    A class on how to care... that's a funny one. Glad the DH is doing so well. Hang in there!!

    And I can't believe his own mother hasn't been in to see him! I'd have to race my MIL to the hospital if it were my husband. How can a mother NOT visit her son in the hospital? I don't get it... she must be too busy "caring" for SS... hehehe I love that nickname!
    2357 days ago
  • LOSER05
    emoticon emoticon
    2357 days ago
    Take care of YOU, take care of him, and the rest will follow suit. The rest of it is, what it is.

    Prayers and blessings!!!
    2357 days ago
    My DH lost a leg in an accident 5 years ago. My version of "caring" looked much different than others expected. Others hovered over him and allowed him to feel sorry for himself. My "caring" was to set the house up to accommodate him, then expect him to figure out how to do some things himself. Don't let others get you down. You know better than anyone else just what kind of care he needs. emoticon
    2358 days ago
    hahahah - I love the care class story!
    I'm glad he is mending well and that you are doing okay.
    Good job not getting caught up in the family drama!
    2358 days ago
    2358 days ago
  • MRE1956
    Hey, there - you do what you need to do - don't worry about us Sparkies......we totally understand!

    emoticon from another "Sag".....

    2358 days ago
    bless you today and always
    prayers for you and your DH and the rest of the family!
    2358 days ago
    Ooooo, you're birthday is in 2 weeks? *pounces fellow Sag* Mine's the 15th!

    Biggest rule of Caregiving? Remember to take care of the Caregiver!
    2359 days ago
    You have a great attitude! We are all behind you!
    2359 days ago
  • MISSY455
    Hang in there, as this too will pass. And you are so right about the alternative!

    My elderly Dad came to live with us a few months ago, and although I am much happier with this arrangement than I was with him being 1500 miles away, I definitely find myself wishing I knew more about how to care for him. I have a long list for everyone of his Dr's visits...I am sure his Dr thinks I am a nut case. I have found there is a fine line between doing too much for him and pushing him too do what he can. I hope you find your class to be very informational!

    Oh and don't worry about us...we know you Care!
    emoticon from one of your emoticon 's
    2359 days ago
    hi, not sure what all your hubby has giong on but I felt the same way after my DH's heart surgery when they told me Ihad to go to class as well.

    Breathe deep and enjoy the smells! emoticon
    2359 days ago
    Do what you are able, sister, and don't worry about the rest. Life happens and your family comes first. Keeping y'all close in prayer. Love ya, Trish~ emoticon BB~ emoticon emoticon
    2359 days ago
    How you have been able to keep your sanity and sense of humor during this whole ordeal is beyond me! You are pretty darn amazing. Glad to hear your husband is making progress. Those were substantial injuries, and he is one lucky man. Like others have suggested, be sure you are taking care of yourself during all this. You are in my thoughts and prayers. emoticon
    2359 days ago
    emoticon I hope your husband feels better.
    2359 days ago
    Wow, that's a lot to deal with on any given day, so it sounds like you're finding the right balance.

    Do what you can to take CARE of yourself too....probably don't need a class for that. just keep checking on on Sparkpeople!
    2359 days ago
    I'm so sorry to hear all this! I, too, am behind on Spark communications... although for different reasons!

    I am praying for you and DH! I wish him a speedy recovery and some sanity for you!
    2359 days ago
    You're title drew me in, too!
    But yes, a "class' on how to look after your DH should be a good thing. Just in itself, but also to give you, hopefully, some contact with other folk in a similar situation, if you need more support.

    I hope everything works out well for you both.

    2359 days ago
    Hang in there!
    Hopefully, the caregiver class will also give you contact with people who are going through the same thing that you are. That will help you too!!
    2359 days ago
  • LINDAJ0621
    Wow...your title drew me in, but sorry to hear about your DH. Hope his recovery goes smoothly and SS and MIL stay far away! Remember to take time for YOU... emoticon
    2359 days ago
    It is apparent you care deeply. Which just makes those classes important because I bet you want to care perfectly. You just sound the type to care THAT much. They will give you confidence. I am sending prayer for you and your DH. Take care of you, too.
    2359 days ago
    Lord have mercy, woman. How you have kept from putting a hit out on your MIL and SS, I do not know. That would have been the first thing on my list after getting DH situated. He is a lucky man to have you there for him. Hopefully he'll realize it and be able to express it.

    As far as the caregiving class is concerned, do it. And if they have a social worker or counselor there, talk to them about what to expect, both with how your husband might respond to treatment and also how you might respond to being the solely responsible adult for a while. It's nothing to be ashamed of, and it can be such a relief to hear that those thoughts and feelings you experience are normal, and to hear ways to deal with them that you may not have thought of. Heck, it even feels nice to be validated once in a while during such an ordeal. Don't be surprised when nobody in your family asks how YOU are doing. It's okay. That's what the counselors and social workers are for. They are better equipped to listen to what you have to say than your family members, anyway, because they are a neutral third party. And of course, friends are always there!

    I also agree with everyone else about the "taking care of yourself" part. You will have to continue to take care of you, even after the immediate danger has passed, because the stress has a way of sneaking up on you when you least expect it. I am glad to hear that he is progressing well. Sending positive vibes for his speedy recovery and peaceful vibes for you! Hang in there.

    2359 days ago
    Don't worry about anyone or anything other then you, DH and the kids. Anyone who care about you will understand. Just please remember you are no help to him or the kids if you don't eat right and get enough sleep.
    Positive thoughts and prayers coming your way.
    2359 days ago
  • CHEEKY1000! So, contrary to what the amazing SS thought...your DH was not just winded. Sheesh! I'm sending positive thoughts your way, and hoping local law enforcement acts on one of SS's outstanding warrants.

    2359 days ago
    So hope all goes well .... I really wished someone had offered to show me how to take care of my Hubby after his surgeries .... it was definitely a learning situation for us both .... he lucked out -- I didn't hurt him !! had no clue what to do to help him until he started his therapies .... take advantage of the class if you have time ... and do take care of yourself as well ... prayers for all of you !! Roc
    emoticon emoticon
    2359 days ago
    I wish your husband a speedy recovery & for you, a few moments of calm!
    2359 days ago
    Thinking of you and your family. emoticon
    2359 days ago
  • JEM0622
    Continued P&PT for your DH. And for you! As the caregiver.
    2359 days ago
    2359 days ago
    You and your family will rise above this stronger and closer than ever before. We will continue to keep you in our thoughts and prayers.
    2359 days ago
    Being a primary caretaker is hard, demanding, physically AND emotionally exhausting. My mother took care of my father AND sister while they were battling cancer because I live too far away to provide any substantial help. Had she not been healthy it would have wiped her out.

    She had experience with her mother and brother, so she has it down to a science. The class may not be a bad idea if you've never done anything like this before. I can say from personal experience that looking after others can wreak havoc on your life if you let it.

    Hang in there! emoticon
    2359 days ago
    Good luck! Glad he is doing better.
    2359 days ago
    First - unsolicited advice - you do not have to keep up with everyone - the cool thing about friends is that we CARE about you and want you to do what you need to do. We will be here when it's over. Those who are insulted by a lack of attention - pffft... they aren't the friends you need to worry about. However, with that said - I would probably be saying the same thing to all my friends that I would catch up etc etc LOL

    Now, on to DH - what a true gift that he's recovering so well. Take your class so you can do the medical care stuff-- it sounds like you have the feelings part down well :)

    2359 days ago
    Sending you positive thoughts and prayers. You will make it though this - one step at a time.

    2359 days ago
  • -THINQ-

    we are all thinking about you, too! 'an, we Know you're a champ.!

    2359 days ago
    Sounds like you are (understandably) very tired but you haven't lost your sense of humor!

    Hang in there.
    2359 days ago
    You and your husband have been in my thoughts- good to know he's better emoticon
    2359 days ago
    Thanks for the update.
    My husband was in the hospital for 11 days when I had 2 school age sons and a 2 year old daughter. The hospital was over 1/2 hour away over windy roads in the winter. Then when he got home I was his nurse, showering, changing bandages, and giving him IV medicine 3X/day. It was a difficult time, but we got through it. For better or for worse, sickness and health. In the end, I felt very thankful that I had the opportunity to prove I could uphold those parts of our vows.
    I wish the very best for you and your husband and your family. You'll get through this and we will be waiting for when you are able to get back in your sparkpeople routine. Remember you have a large support system here and you are thought of often. emoticon emoticon
    2359 days ago
    You are too funny! emoticon

    I care about you too emoticon
    2359 days ago
  • DAS92687
    Enjoy the class .... maybe MIL will want to attend with you ;-)
    2359 days ago
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