MONIQUE138
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Big Girl Phobia

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Yesterday while out with my girlfriends I was very upset at what I heard from one of the friends and I know I can only share this with you because you will understand. They were discussing a BBT Party that happened on Saturday, now I don't know what BBT stands for but it was a party for big beautiful women. They were saying how the party was a success and there were about 200 to 250 people there. The "friend" who doesn't seem to have too much of a weight problem and she is a little petite but still a little thick around the edges said " yeah ha ha ha it was more like 600 because of their size" WHAT! I looked at her and she must of thought I was going to laugh but no I did not think it was funny. Then she continued to say over and over again how big they were and she couldn't believe men actually came out for them and that they were some big b#$%hes and saying oh my god they were some huge women." How can they carry all that weight around. They had to remove the tables and chairs because they couldn't fit on them. They didn't have any food at the party so she would say that they should have had something like biscuits so it can soke up some of the liquor because you know they like bread ha ha ha! WAIT! and why was she there anyway! I did find out later that she went because she knew someone giving the party and she just wanted to be the only skinny one there so they can get jealous of her and she knew the men would talk to her and not them. NOT! When these men came to the party they knew what it was about and that's why they were there. She continued with these rude remarks and it really upset my soul. So I just got up and kindly walked away to prevent me from pulling out the messed up weave she had on. I thought later that I should have said something but it would have all come out wrong and like I said I might have knocked her teeth out. She must have thought that she wasn't being offensive. I may not be the size I use to be but it still hurts to hear someone say these things and think it's a joke. I had to sit back and think this is only a case of Big Girl phobia because they are starting to see our confidence and self esteem grow even more each day. Big girls know their big it's not a secret we are not trying to hide it we just embrace it. As long as you love yourself you will shine and that's what they are afraid of. They are starting to figure out that men want us just a much because they see the beauty pass the physical. So now they are fighting to keep us from being in the center of attention where they use to be so that is where the negative remarks and stupid big girl jokes come into play. " DON'T HATE ME CAUSE I'M BEAUTIFUL". (which is one of my favorite songs by the way) : ) So look out girls there is a disease in town and it's called Big Girl Phobia. Don't run from it because it can't hurt you it will only make you stronger.


Have a fabulous day my friends.
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  • no profile photo MRSBLAK27
    Wow!!!!

    This girl has it all wrong, it's not the size of your body that determines what kinda person you are it's the spirit within you that "eventually" comes out. AND HER SPIRIT IS IN NEED OF SOME HELP. If she thinks that beauty is all there is to this life than she's in for a rude awakening.

    You did the right thing..... Walking Away from Foolishness

    melissa
    2542 days ago
  • JANEMAR2
    Some people make themselves feel better by putting down others around them. I think your friend is guilty of this. She wanted to to the party and be the only one because in her mind she would not have any competition. How wrong I am sure she was.



    2542 days ago
  • LOVESLIFE48
    Wow, how rude and hurtful!! emoticon You know what they say, what goes around, comes around!!
    2543 days ago
  • KARENA228
    I'm not trying to understand the young lady or figure why she might have said what she did. She's just plain wrong, God don't like ugly, she will learn.
    2543 days ago
  • SEAJESS
    Yes, it's a prejudice out there that I'm betting most of us have, even us big girls and former big girls.

    My mother is like your friend. She once admitted that she had a strong prejudice against and revulsion for fat people. Another reason it is such a challenge being her daughter! I've come to believe that there is a small, scared, feeling-rotten-about-herself person in there who is trying to feel better about herself by desparately looking for other to whom she can compare herself and come out a "winner". Comparision and judgment are sure ways to hell on earth.

    And it's not just comparing against other people; there is also comparing self against imaginary self. I'm envious of people who post can say they don't have this conditioning when there is so much grinding it into our brains. Many persons who have internalized prejudice ~ homophobic gays to "self-hating" Jews, big girl phobic biggirls ~ struggle with self-love and self-esteem issues.

    I was a course marshall at the Seattle Marathon last Sunday and there were quite a few big girls striding by the 23 mile marker where I was working. My prejudice is to assume that big girls aren't athletes (even though I've run 8Ks as a big girl.) I was grateful to them for the reminder that I just do not know.

    For me, it will be a lifetime process to overcome this and other social conditioning. Meditation helps to show me how the conditioned mind generates conditioned thoughts independently. With practice, practice, practice we don't need to collapse into them.

    That's where the hope is for me. As the Buddhas supposedly said before he died, "With mindfulness, strive on!"

    Happy striving, my SparkFriends!



    Seattl
    e Jess emoticon
    2543 days ago
  • DIANEGLORIA
    wow, that is just shockingly rude and obnoxious

    I find beauty, true absolute beauty in all sizes. I see what God has made and yes, i know many of us are unhappy about the way we look. But I can see the beauty in all that God has made.

    Every wrinkle, every twinkle... the curves that go on for days and the those that are stick thin. Beauty is everywhere.

    You are beautiful, just the way you are. Does not mean you can't love yourself and get strong and happy, centered. Loving ourselves is really the first step to living a good life and being able to love others.

    I have to simply pray for this poor pitiful excuse of a woman, her mean spiritedness is really quite sad.

    Where was this fabulous party? I would love to attend such a gathering!
    2543 days ago
  • CBUDACK
    Wow, sounds like your friend has some serious self-esteem issues. Maybe she can only "bring them down" by bad mouthing because she lacks a "Big Girls" confidence and positive attitude. I'm glad you didn't lower yourself to her level and walked away.
    2543 days ago
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