Wow. I have been given so much to think about lately. Over the last few months God has really been working on me. My heart, my prayer, giving my struggles to Him. It's not always easy - it's pretty much NEVER easy when it comes to God. But it's the great stuff in life that is worth the hard work - physical OR mental.
A few months back our friends found out that they were having baby #3 and that it was a girl (their first). We rejoiced. But there was more. She didn't look right on the ultrasound and the doctors suspected birth defects and did an amnio to find out. Sure enough, she had a condition that more than likely would end in miscarriage, stillbirth or death within a very short time of her birth.
At that point our friends began to pray and ask for the prayers of anyone and everyone who join them. We didn't exactly know what to pray for. A miraculous healing? We certainly didn't want to tell God what to do, but we also wanted to be firm in our faith and in knowing that God COULD miraculously heal her. We just prayed for God's will in this baby's life and that we know He knows better than we do. We just knew He had a purpose for this baby and for her having birth defects that would eventually kill her.
Baby Jocelyn was born alive last Wednesday. She was so teeny tiny (a little over 4 lbs) and born with no hearthbeat. Her daddy took her in his hands and began to rub her little chest and stomach and pray like he had never prayed before - and her heart started. Over the next 24 hours she was breathing on her own, eating from a medicine syringe and gained good color, despite the hole in her heart that was preventing good circulation at first. Our friends were overjoyed that they would get to know this tiny little blessing that they had waited for - that we all had prayed and waited for.
When Jocelyn was just 5 days old she had a rough day, hardly eating anything. On day 6 her breathing stopped several times and we were all asked to pray - just pray hard. That night, November 15th, baby Jocelyn went to be with Jesus. Her parents have been an amazing example for all of us through this process. We have learned about extreme faith and letting go. And now it really was time for them to let go... and they were at peace with it.
And through this process of pregnancy and birth we were asking for a miracle. God answered our prayers. Jocelyn WAS a miracle. Because of her, brothers and sisters in the Lord who had never met were praying for the same cause, day in and day out. For once we all stopped focusing on ourselves and our own needs and wants and focused on a tiny baby whom we had never met. Because of her we started seeing things through new eyes each day. We were grateful for every little blessing and so thankful for our health and our healthy children. Because of Jocelyn we all became acutely aware of how God bring us closer to Him through our trials and tribulations.
My friend Steve stood up in church and said, "We prayed for Jocelyn with expectancy. We expected that somehow God was going to do something great. But why are we just praying with expectancy about Jocelyn? Shouldn't we be praying each day, waking up and EXPECTING that God is going to do something great with this day?" Wow... he is right. We have that attitude that God is going to do something special with this one circumstance but God wants to bless us and give good things to His children - the Bible tells us He does!
And now, while waiting for the memorial service in just a couple days, we can all breathe again. She is gone, but her presence has left an indelible mark on our lives. What this family went through and her swift coming and going in our lives has made me a different person. So did God miraculously heal her little body? To that I say, she WAS the miracle. And yes, now in heaven, waiting for her family to some day join her, she IS healed.