Monday, November 14, 2011

For those of you not versed in the acronyms of the fertility world ... TTA means "Trying to avoid."

DH surprised me this weekend by saying he'd like to TTA for a while. Long story short, "a while" means we need to pay down at least one of my student loans. Meaning, a year or so.

I'm at a loss. I don't want to work DH to death, don't get me wrong. But I'm 33. And AF is here ... so I'm a little emotional.

I feel the emotional eater in me wanting to come out and eat ... eat what? I don't even have a specific craving. Psh. Lame. Guess I'll munch some celery.

Just had to share. I'm an emotional mess, and I know that in the past that would have greatly affected my calorie range. Like eating a whole bag of M&Ms is going to fix the fact that I want to be a mom so badly. I want a baby, not a food baby!

And I want my husband. I'm just feeling rather blindsided by this news, and it has cause some strife. Nothing we can't get past, but still ... I miss feeling closer to him.

Anybody got any good verses for this one? I'm all ears ... really really REALLY want to let the Holy Spirit in on this one.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    My first thought was from Ecclesiastes, the third chapter-
    Ecclesiastes 3
    A Time for Everything
    1 There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

    2 a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,

    You want the Lord's timing I know.... and sometimes that means waiting...

    Hang in there....
    2892 days ago
    Like Yoitle above, I'm no Holy Spirit, but I do know that you'll get pregnant when its the right time for your family. Dont rush it or delay it. Just let it happen naturally. In the mean time, my personal opinion is put together a financial plan for a second car & student loan payoff over the next 12 months then relax and let nature take its course. Good luck!
    2892 days ago
    We did have a conversation last night, and the 9 months thing naturally came up - so it is looking like, if we do avoid, it will only be for a few months (at least till we get a second vehicle).

    He also had to take a patient to labor & delivery last night, and is having lots of "feelings" just like I do - like "Why exactly are we putting this off?"

    We got married in May and were leaving it up to God, and got pregnant the month we least expected it (while on a mission trip in Nicaragua). Baby ended up being a blighted ovum, and I had a D&C on September 23. I've had two periods now since the miscarriage ... we strictly avoided for one because I had to get my MMR booster (found out during prenatal appointments I wasn't immune to rubella anymore).

    In other words, we were never "TTC" but more of "TT whatever" ... and it is hard to say for how long ... 2-3 months, then pregnant, and we haven't beeing trying or whatever since the miscarriage.

    So, we're still unsure what we're doing. That's just life, right? Heh.
    2893 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/15/2011 12:21:10 PM
    Have you spoken to him about the fact that if it would take another year to pay off the loan, getting pregnant right now wouldn't be a big deal? I find that my hubby to be, when thinking about conceiving, thinks of it as RIGHT NOW and when I remind him that a pregnancy lasts 9 months, he relaxes. He has also noticed as friends of ours have thier babies / announce thier pregnancies just how long it actually is between conception and actual baby time. He's like "wow, it seems like so and so has been pregnant forever!"
    Perhaps if you let him know that you don't mind not TRYING to conceive, but you aren't comfortable TTA, he will just let it go to chance. Maybe by relaxing about it, and just enjoying each other again, you will actually concieve! How long have you been TTC?
    Good luck with it! emoticon
    2893 days ago
    I'm no holy spirit, but perhaps let the issue rest for a week or so, to see what does come in. It sounds like you are trying to put yourself in his shoes, so in a week or so, see what you can say to him to let him know you understand his position and feelings. Sometimes that can be an opening.

    I got married at 38 and my husband was 35. I told him when we were engaged that I had no idea if I could get pregnant. Four months later I did get pregnant and had my first son at 39 and a half. I wanted to space my kids, so that I could really develop a relationship with the first before a new baby came into the family even though my age was really over the hill. Once my husband and I decided to give it another go, it took about a year and a half to conceive and I had my second child at 43. We did a lot of communicating around these issues even though he doesn't speak English and my Japanese wasn't up to much at that time.

    Don't know if any of this helps, but in these kinds of issues, what is said today may change tomorrow.
    2894 days ago
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