Beating that little cloud of doubt with..... One ray of sunshine at a time!

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Beating that little cloud of doubt with..... One ray of sunshine at a time!
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Today over here Sunday November 13th 2011 we had the Southland marathon and walk....and both Fallen-Angel_ and I participated, along with Fallen's mum Lynda..

This turned out to be more than a walk for me, It turned into 2hours of real deep down soul searching, where i thought of all the things i hated about being over weight, including how i saw myself, how others saw myself and then i got thinking about what it would be like when i finally reached my goal and no longer were overweight.....Silly but the main thing i thought about for at least 6.k's was this guy that i like and how much more desirable i would be if i was smaller....this got me down, really down and i allowed myself to focus on the negative and it ate away at me until i was almost ready to give up around the 6.k mark....This guy is a "player", he has been in my life as a "friend" for 14yrs, has been around before and after my marriage & is never far away from the latest goss, as he always seems to know whats going on....Does he love me?? No. Do i love him? Yes. - these questions and more were going through my head and mind-fudging me along the way...(not healthy thoughts for trying to do a long distance walk!!!)....I was about to turn off down the main street and walk home, (Yes i was going to give up and give into the dark rain cloud on my shoulder) BUT I didn't want to be a loser and Quit, I had more pride than that & with the support of the two lovely ladies i was walking with, I completed this 10k walk, and Now i am determined to more than ever beat this awful cycle of weight-gain and become the person i so long to be.....

It was really quite an experience to push myself to the limit today, My left hip was killing me and my right ankle/instep was burning, But i done it....I done it!!!!...and I can do this..
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  • no profile photo CD9390344
    Good for you!!
    3268 days ago
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