RUBYCLAIRE
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TRUE CONFESSIONS, or something like that!

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Back around October 17th, I started to stumble, and then fell, metaphorically. I really didn't do TOO much damage because I really didn't fall too far. In essence, I got what would be the equivalent of a skinned knee, or a couple of scrapes & bruises, by getting my weight back up to 182.8 after having reached 170'sville for a second time. Alas, I've had a bit of difficulty regaining my composure & balance, but that's okay because although I am still a bit wobbly, I am determined to once again stand erect and continue on my journey.

In the mean time though, between the start of my fall, and two weeks ago, Halloween eve to be precise, another of my cousins crossed to the other side at the young age of 70 years. My cousin Ron was more than a cousin to me, I am proud to say he was also a friend and my mentor. He was filled with so much love and passion, no matter what he taught or did, be it scuba diving, karate, language, mathematics or spirituality. He NEVER told us we HAD to follow his teachings or beliefs, he merely held the keys, the tools, and handed them to each us to take, or not take, the choice was always ours alone. Ronnie will be, and is already, sorely missed by all who knew him, but it is comforting to know that his spirit will be here among us for some time to come.

So now, here I am sitting at my computer, still trying to deal with my loss, but more than that, I am trying to stay out of my own way. I've just managed to get back onto the exercise track by working my upper body on Thursday, my lower body yesterday and my core today. I woke up the last couple of mornings with VERY sore muscles, so I KNOW I'm doing things right. Ha, ha, ha. My biggest stumbling block is STILL what I am eating. I have been living the junk food junket, like I said earlier, for the last few weeks. I am working at getting out of that mode and am still struggling, BUT. I'll get there for I shall NEVER give up!

So, here I am off and running, LITERALLY, back to square one once again, and along my way, I may not reach out to my dear, sweet supportive friends, but I know you are always there to lift me with your words, goodies and phone calls. As always, I am so very appreciative of all those helping hands, and if my story has helped to inspire or motivate even one person, then I am grateful for the chance to be there for you. I thank all of you for taking the time to not only to read my blogs, but also for any comments you may have left for me.


BTW, I would also like to share two of my beautiful daughter, AMYJEANHEALTHY's, awesome blogs SHE is MY inspiration.

Blog #1 "Put your weapon down..."
www.sparkpeople.com/mypa
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al.asp?blog_id=4567474


Blog #2 "7/18/2012 - Celebrating 25 years of marriage!!!"
www.sparkpeople.com/mypa
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al.asp?blog_id=4570939


I would LOVE to nominate both of these blogs for motivation, but alas, I do not know how to do that.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • GOLD11042
    We are human. This weight thing is hard. I too am a junk food addict. I like fast food. I try to bring myself to cook more, but it usually doesn't turn out the way I want it to.
    You reaffirm my struggles, that it's not just me struggling out here alone.
    We are here for you just as you have been there for us.
    THANKS!
    I am sorry for the loss of your cousin. For a while just let his spirit watch over you as you grieve and heal.
    2410 days ago
  • QUEEN_REINA
    My heart goes out to you Ruby. It's so hard to lose ppl we love.

    And as for your stumble, well here you are back on the treadmill so to speak so you are doing fine. Anyway I was just noticing this morning how much weight you have lost since you started, and baby, you've come a long way! So maybe you've gained some back, but wow, you've come SUCH a long way!!

    I spent the entire month last month just establishing a regular (hard) workout plan that I feel sure I can stick with. It's varied, challenging, fun...Now this month, I'm paying more attention to what I eat. What I was doing wasn't working becuase here I am still tubby so I'm trying something different now which is to add one new health focus per month. Slow, but hopefully I'll get there this way.

    Lots of hugs, Ruby. and Dont be hard on yourself!
    2410 days ago
  • MRS_EVA_K
    I'm sorry for your loss Ms Ruby. emoticon

    But I am happy for you recovery of your journey. We all stumble. We are only human. The most important thing is that we get up and start again. And again. And again if need be. You win each time because you don't give up.

    We're here when you needs us.



    2412 days ago
  • ACIMPEGGY
    Dear friend, I read this yesterday at my Toastmasters' Conference, but didn't have the chance to comment then.

    I know it feels (with the loss of your cousin) that you lost a part of yourself. You know I feel that in Spirit, we are One (I AM and all that). He will always be with you...

    I am sure no one blames you for getting 'down.' We all struggle at times. That's why we're here, loving and supporting each other, trying our best to be physically better.

    We'll get there yet!

    Next time you disappear, I'll have to make the trip to Lowell and seek you out emoticon

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    2412 days ago
  • TRYINGHARD1948
    So sorry to hear of your loss Ruby, life does seem to be a rough journey at times. It's lovely to see you back and beginning your program again. I recently bought the SparkPeople Cookbook and it seems to have started me cooking with better ingredients that help the healthy lifestyle.

    For your daughter's blogs to become one of the best blogs sparkers just have to press the "I like this blog" button and I think that draws the office's attention to the blog.
    2412 days ago
  • LOPEYP
    Good luck! It's good to go back to basics, now and again. It keeps us honest. I know you can do it, Ruby and we are here to support you!
    2412 days ago
  • MSLZZY
    We slip, we fall, we get back up and back to business. The foibles and follies of being human. Sorry for the loss of your cousin and praying that time will help to heal your heart. Hold him close and he will always be with you! HUGS!
    2412 days ago
  • DEBIGENE
    Good to see you back Ruby however I am sooo sorry to hear the reasons you were way from us. I will continue to keep you in my prayers. BUT the good news is that you are back and you know what you need to do and you WANT to do it and that's the important part. You will be filled with the spirit of your cousin to help you along the way as well.

    HUGS and BLESSINGS to you dear one !!!
    2413 days ago
  • STARSAPPHIRE57
    Ruby, so happy to see you back; but, I am very sorry for your loss. emoticon I knew something had to be wrong. We are all human and we will all have set backs; my diet has been horrible lately--totally emotional--and beyond me to fully get control of it... I gained 5 lb emoticon ; but, have lost 3.6 of them...

    The beauty of SP is that it is a lifestyle and not just a 'diet'...we are allowed to be human, fall down, get back up, brush off and try again--and again, and again, as many times as we need till we learn the lessons. You are a bright and shining star to many of us; give yourself a hug and feel the love!

    I did read your DD's blogs--great! You are right to be inspired and proud of her!

    Take care, dear Ruby. Love, hugs, and bright blessings to you! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2413 days ago
  • VICIOUS421
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    2413 days ago
  • AWESOMECAROL55
    Thank you Ruby for sharing that! I am sorry for your loss and I know it is difficult! Just remember and take comfort as you put it so beautifully..your cousin's spirit will live on! So glad you are back and as you know, stress does funny things to us and can really mess with our healthy intentions. You know what you need to do though. It's never to late to start over!

    Hugs..Hugs..Hugs!!
    Carol
    2413 days ago
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